Bro, the kick sound is not the greatest. And the shaker sample is off time...I think the sample's attack comes late. They sound like scissors-gone-wrong!

Thats also an annoying acidy synth ...it clashes with your kick. The kick is entirely devoid of other percs?? Oh...theres some percs...but they just don't pull together and hold a pronounced beat for me.

Then at 2:30 you totally change it up completely. I'm grappling with trying to comprehend a melody line...and its not happening.
Everything is disjointed and terribly unhinged...

I recommend "DELETE".

But don't give up.... keep at it!

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thnx for the honest criticism DA...much appreciated braw

ya im workin on this while studying trance structure...at the same time working on my percussion skills. The melody im comfortable with...but havin some troubles figuring out what is the best sound for it...

im thinkin i'll jus delete all sets/percs/kicks etc and jus re-create the main mel and start-anew...but i still wanna read on where im going wrong on so that it saves me some re-work'd cycles

thnx again

sebasano

Im not sure how new you are at this, so at the risk of offending you just take this for what its worth:

Seb, focus on your beat before you worry about ANYTHING else... Firstly, start with good samples! Not loops, I mean get a good KICK (layer them if need be) find a good kit of snares, hihats, crashes and ESPECIALLY swishes, swooshes and other ambient stuff that creates goodies in your song (use samples if you don't yet know how to tweak your own white-noise patches just yet!).
Next, setup your bass kick in a looping sequencer to playback and keep adding elements like a clap here and a snare-rim shot there, etc. Build on it from scratch. Continue developing percs like that until you find a groove! I end up throwing away 3/4 of all my drum perc creations but its great for the learning curve!!!

Heck, spend a day or two JUST HONING this skill...it requires much time and perseverance but is extremely rewarding! Your song is built on these foundations and some may even argue that this is more important then any melody!!

Hope that helps!

___________________
please review my latest AMBIENT track HERE.