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Girls probably wont like this one
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| arj1o1 |
Girls probably wont like this one:
1. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
2. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
3. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
4. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me."
5. How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
6. Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure!
7. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at he front door, whom do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
8. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
9. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."
10. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.
11. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
12. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is called wedding Cake.
13. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
14. Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
15. Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
16. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
17. A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds: Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
18. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
19. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are beautiful.
20. Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then, go to bed.
Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then, go the refrigerator.
21. Why do brides wear white? Men like their dishwasher to match the fridge and range.
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| CygnusX |
| Lol, good one arjen :D |
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| arj1o1 |
| quote: | Originally posted by CygnusX
Lol, good one arjen :D |
dont let TatanaGirl see it, cause girls dont like it ;) |
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| AlphaZonE |
| quote: | Originally posted by arj1o1
10. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her. |
ROFLMFAO :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| DJPrototypeX |
| i'm almost dyin of laughter:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| HyPeRSoNiC |
oh, you bad, bad man!!
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| gwrmarines |
| LOL you getting this from entensity.net i was going to post this up but im too lazy to type all that cause you cant copy and paste:whip: |
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| jploveparade |
| quote: | Originally posted by gwrmarines
LOL you getting this from entensity.net i was going to post this up but im too lazy to type all that cause you cant copy and paste:whip: |
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| _Nut_ |
Havent you ever wondered how you fix a dishwasher??
Slap her in the ass... |
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| HyPeRSoNiC |
ooh!!! I got one!!!
a plane was about to crash into the middle of the sea... suddenly, a woman inside the plane jumps out of her seat and shouts: "I'm not going to let myself die untill I feel like a real woman! is anyone here man enough to make me feel like a real woman? please, do it now!"... a few seconds later, a man gets out of his seat, walks over to her, takes off his shirt, hands it over to her, and says "here. iron this..."........
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| chrome |
| haha this is great |
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