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depression?? how to get over it? help please
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| stk |
Hi! I'm a freshmen in college now, and i've been depressed for over 2 years now... Well during my whole life i've been a shy and introverted guy, a person who has low confidence and very low self esteem. In junior year i met this one girl, and she was an angel to me. She taught me many things including giving myself more confidence and self esteem in myself. Eventually we started dating and became girlfriend/boyfriends. After abuot 5 months, her feelings started to infatuate while mine only grew stronger and eventually i broke it off, knowing she had no guts to... Ever since then, i started to have low confidence and low self esteem again, worse even.....Its been over 2 years now and here i am writing this message, still in depression and lingering over the past. Whenever i try to contact her or just give a friendly hi she would always blow me off (hahaha she must relaly hate me).. It was the same girl who showed so much care for me and love ..who now hates me...not to mention found a new lover in her life. I've been watching her fall in love with another guy and it really tore me up, i couldnt study sleep eat or anything..I haven't received any medication yet but i think i should, my depression is only growing stronger; i thought time would heal itself but its obviously not..
I was just wondering if u guys or gurls who has been from a crushed relationship, knows any remedies?? thanks alot and sorry to bore u with my long post!! hehe |
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| Dj onE |
yea kinda know whatcha mean bro...i just broke up with my girl of 5 years about a month ago...and we did everything together...fawk we even had plans to get married...but i think what you need is to go out and meet girls thats what ive been doin and chillin with da boys...really do anything but dwell on the fact that you broke up (even though 2 years is kinda of a lot man)...
.dJonE. |
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| tranceDJ |
IMO we all go through relationships such as those that don't last but we learn from them and eventually move on. What I'm trying to say is that even though you think she's the one and only girl out there for you, you're going to eventually meet another one like her or even better than her. How many people end up marrying the first girl/boy they fall in love with? Very few. Getting over a person is hard indeed, definetly easier said than done, but talking about it with friends and eventually meeting other people will help you to.
You also gotta look at the bright side of things (I know lots of people say this and it sounds like bull but it's good advice). You can't let one thing get you depressed. If you have other problems it hurts, but you didn't mention any so i'm assuming you don't have any other major ones. Go out with friends, enjoy life, and I think good things will come to you.
And about having low confidence, I have this problem as well but I think it's a matter of just not thinking about things too much. Too many people have a problem with doubting themselves and thinking things won't turn out right. Sometimes you just have to try things and you'll see that they work out even when you didn't think they would.
Hope I was of some help... |
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| djSlain |
http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...ession+analysis
TA is definently a community to share this with. it really helped me cope and i learned about a lot of people's conflicts and i hope this link helps. the file within the thread has just about everything i'll ever need to fall back on in case i despair again. |
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| tranceDJ |
I remember that, definetly a good read.
I myself think that there's so many depressed people out there and it's tough to talk about it but places like here on TA offer a place that people can talk about their depression and get help from others. Shows that this is a wonderful community and that other people really do care and want to help. |
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| Essential1 |
| , i didn't see djslain posted the same link as me... |
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| anuneventrade |
| Some sort of depression affects everyone, and some people might eventually get clinically depressed. If it has been going on for two years, you might want to consult a doctor. |
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| Dmatrox |
| quote: | Originally posted by anuneventrade
Some sort of depression affects everyone, and some people might eventually get clinically depressed. If it has been going on for two years, you might want to consult a doctor. |
doctors are useless, or some of them are. Ask your doctor for a reference to a psychiatrist. I think they are free if you have public health care like here in canada. If that doesnt work, you could also see a psychologist.
But take the advice from the people here first :) There are people who go through the same or similar thing. Its a large board so many people have similar experiences that doctors may not have :) |
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| Mosaic |
sounds similar to problems I had up until this summer.
My gf (whom I loved very much) left me, and it really messed me up. I was suicidal at times. Even before that, I found myself to be quite depressed a lot of the time. Quiet, shy, and keeping to myself.
I know the feeling dude, what you described is basically what I went through... but she hasn't dated any guys since, so I guess I am lucky. Thinking about her with another guy is a discouraging thought, but I feel prepared to deal with it when the time comes. I still love her... because I believe there is only love and hate. And I don't hate her - she was one of the greatest things to happen to me.
I later discovered I suffered from chronic depression. I was put on drugs, and now things are much better :)
I'm not suggesting drugs can fix everything. You need to make lifestyle changes. You need to force yourself to talk to people.
I would suggest seeing your doctor, and try out some anti-depressants like Celexa (but this stuff if expensive... a month's worth costs me $50cad... luckily I now have drug benefits).
Just try it out. NOTE: Anti-depressants don't kick in for several weeks. Usually they aren't in full effect for 8 weeks, so don't expect immediate results.
And, make lifestyle changes. I think you need to find a new girl to focus on. But, whatever you do... don't talk about the ex-gf. I did, and it ed things over for me with this great girl.
Get involved with school stuff. Sounds kind of lame - but I am now president of my school's drama crew, and I love it. And there's lots of great girls involved as well. |
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| anuneventrade |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dmatrox
doctors are useless, or some of them are. Ask your doctor for a reference to a psychiatrist. I think they are free if you have public health care like here in canada. If that doesnt work, you could also see a psychologist.
But take the advice from the people here first :) There are people who go through the same or similar thing. Its a large board so many people have similar experiences that doctors may not have :) |
I was talking about a psychiatrist. If you go to your primary doctor they normally make a referral to go to the psychiatrist.
My advice, would be to try and move on with your life (as crazy and unbelievable as it may seem). Perhaps surround yourself in a new environment? Get a new hobby. Jogging works wonders for me. When I'm stressed, or depressed, I just throw on my shoes and run till I can barely move. Feels good, painful, and clears your head out.
In all seriousness though, I do suggest seeing a doctor (psychiatrist), or a group therapy. Sometimes it really does help. Writing in a journal could really help as well. |
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