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Israel To Hang Bags of Pig Fat On Buses
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| imokruok |
A clever solution to the exploding Muslim problem.
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BBC News, 12 Feb 2004
Israeli police are to hang bags of pig lard on buses and in other public places to deter would-be Muslim suicide bombers, Israeli media have reported.
The Maariv daily said rabbinical authorities sanctioned the plan to use the product - considered impure by Jews and Muslims - if it might save lives.
According to Islamic tradition, Muslims who touch a pig before dying will be denied entry to Heaven.
Hundreds of Israelis have been killed by suicide bombers in recent years.
Muslim militants believe they will be rewarded with 70 virgins in paradise by carrying out suicide bombings against those they regard as enemies of Islam.
Officials hope the prospect that bombers will defile their bodies by blowing up the bags of pig lard as well as themselves might discourage would-be recruits.
Rabbi Eliezer Moshe Fisher, of the Jerusalem Rabbinical Court, said there was no "halachic [Jewish law] ban on using bags of lard in buses and other places" when saving lives is concerned, the newspaper reported.
He said the bags would also be permitted to be placed in shopping centres, train stations, schools and other public places which might be targeted by bombers.
The rabbi said if police do not enact the plan, tens of thousands of Orthodox Jews will arm themselves with guns capable of spraying liquid pig lard at suspects.
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| smokeape |
I say we just sic the big Israeli porker on them...
Lol!
[[[smoke]]] |
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| Shakka |
| How sad that it has come to this. I hate to say it, but I hope that this actually works, but deep down I fear that it will only make matters worse. Palestinians will blame the Israelis for making them even more angry and they will try to find new, pig-free targets. Who knows, maybe they'll start wearing latex body suits when conducting a suicide bombing. |
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| tathi |
| maybe it will offer some of the mal-nourished Palestinian poppulation with some food? ;) |
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| Yoepus |
now thats how ou use religion!!
See, who said religion isn't any good? Without it you wouldn't be able to devise such stupid schemes to actually stop people from blowing up themselves.
Oh wait, I forgot religion is why they are blowing up themselves.:( |
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| DrUg_Tit0 |
Heh, just as israeli rabbis sanctioned this use of pork as it could save lives, I'm afraid that islamic terrorists might also circumnavigate the problem in a same way, by saying that it's acceptable to touch a pig before death if it is necessary fulfill a greater purpose for alah.
God, I can't believe I'm actually seriously discuissing this idea :nervous: |
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| tathi |
This just in:
CIA Intelligence reveals Palestinian extremist groups have cloned the first winged pig in underground laboratories. This weapon is said to be able to fly into settlements and detonate upon reaching its target.
The blueprints to this WMD are said to have been found in Iraq, "these winged pigs have the ability to fly accross the Atlantic ocean in 11 minutes, and have the ability to destroy 5 city blocks" Rumsfeld solemnly told the press early Friday morning. |
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| rizen |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yoepus
now thats how ou use religion!!
See, who said religion isn't any good? Without it you wouldn't be able to devise such stupid schemes to actually stop people from blowing up themselves.
Oh wait, I forgot religion is why they are blowing up themselves.:( |
:( |
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| Yoepus |
| quote: | Originally posted by rizen
:( |
what happened?? Ran out of flags with crying 'things' in front of them?
;) :D |
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| priveye03 |
| And what if the Isrealis stop riding the buses because of said lard? No one rides, no money. |
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| George Smiley |
Heh, think this is a pretty clever idea!
Probly wont work cos lets face it, if you blow yourself and a load of kids up, you aint gonna go to heaven anyways! (Also, isn't suicide and murder a sin, which means you cannot go to heaven? Or is that just Christians?)
Religious nutters eh? Waste of space the lot of em! |
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| rizen |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yoepus
what happened?? Ran out of flags with crying 'things' in front of them?
;) :D |
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