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My Theocracy
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| igottaknow |
It has occurred to me that religious fervor is on the rise everywhere in the world today. In the US Bush is attempting to lower the barrier between church and state, in Iraqi Ayatollahs are making their demands for a theocracy, and all around the world Al Queda is waging terrorist attacks in hopes of replacing the West with wahbi Islam. So I’ve decided to get on board and start plans for the construction of a theocratic state of my own. This new state will act as a homeland for beleaguered masses of Catholics around the world that have been persecuted.
After much consideration for a suitable location I have chosen the only logical place, the birthplace of Christ, Jerusalem. I know you must be thinking that there isn’t enough room for another theocracy in the region, but don’t worry I’ve already thought of a solution to that problem. After I obtain the blessing of Europe and the United States, I plan to slowly build up an enclave of Catholic settlements until I’ve obtained a majority. If I capture most of the land I can use it as bargaining chip, offering the disgruntled parties a meager portion of undesirable land for their acceptance of my theocracy. I still have a lot of details to work out like the methods I will need to employ to guarantee the safety of my people from terrorist who seek to destroy my humble Catholic nation.
I’m now trying to put the finishing touches to my theocracy. I haven’t decided on a name yet but maybe you can help me decide. Hmmm how about Catholicstan, Catholicstine, or The United States of God? I also need to create a flag. My current design is of giant crucifix in the center surrounded by doves, who instead of holding olive branches, they will fiercely grip machine guns, defending my theocracy from all the jealous evil forces seeking to destroy it. I still haven’t decided whether I should include the Pope in my plans. While I respect and admire him, he is opposed to violence, which I feel is necessary tool in the real world to survive. I don’t want to be hamstrung by peace loving idealists. Maybe I'll just use some of his ideas he has put forth like no sports on Sunday. Oh well I’ve got to get back to my plans, so much to do in so little time. God bless. |
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| Yoepus |
ahh, you mean like the crusades?
:rolleyes: :D
good luck.;) |
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| DigiNut |
Lame, short-sighted, narrow-minded attempt at satire.
A+ for effort though.  |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yoepus
ahh, you mean like the crusades? :rolleyes: :D |
the arabs tried to use that baseless accusation against the Israelis. I'm no crusader, I'm simply taking what is mine in the name of god...hmmm maybe you're right...oh well who cares... You know what they say if you can't beat them, join them! :haha:
I will pray for you :p |
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| trancaholic |
| Sounds interesting - trouble is that Christ wasn't born in Jerusalem. |
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| arctic |
You went and planned a theocracy without consulting me. Sickening.  |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by arctic
You went and planned a theocracy without consulting me. Sickening. |
I'm sorry I was so excited after god spoke to me, I forgot to tell anyone else. I've got an angry message on my answering machine from Mel Gibson. Would you like to be one of my top adivsors? I can't offer you a minister of misinformation because I've already promised the position to Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf. |
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| Trancer-X |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
[FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=#99CCEE]Lame, short-sighted, narrow-minded attempt at satire.
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I was just about to type "ignorant" and "closed-minded" but I guess what you chose, "narrow-minded" is more suitable in this case. |
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| tathi |
i'd prefer a tropical island where i worship his holiness MrOpus and the divine Cookie Monster
and this island has an embargo on Zionist Mustard ;) |
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| anuneventrade |
| quote: | Originally posted by arctic
You went and planned a theocracy without consulting me. Sickening. |
And without consulting me either... You're stooping quite low igottaknow! |
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| Ondrayce |
| When making a move like this, you should ask yourself "What about the children?" Wait...Did you say Catholic? Then I guess thats already covered. |
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| Yoepus |
| quote: | Originally posted by tathi
i'd prefer a tropical island where i worship his holiness MrOpus and the divine Cookie Monster
and this island has an embargo on Zionist Mustard ;) |
well it better not be near mine and Drug_Tito's tropical island, or your tropical island won't be so calm and peaceful:whip: :whip:
Embargos are declerations of war you know:disbelief |
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