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Friends or girlfriend
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| Billabong |
Im just getting so frustrated at the moment, all I am doing is argueing with my girlfriend about my best friends, who don't get on with my girlfriend.
There was a lot of confrontation at university, with both sides fighting over my time. Lots of arguing, and I really don't think they consider my feelings on this matter.
My friends were mean to my girlfriend when arguing with my girlfriend, and i told them off. My girlfriend was quiet upset from the matter, and says she is still recovering from the incident.
Im not going to cover every single detail, but my girlfriend thinks i should put her first, i said it should be equal, and i should consider both parties feelings in a 50/50 manner.
I really feel like im being boxed in by both parties, my best friends have seen me through everything through bullying, my parents splitting up, and have been with me through all levels of education. My girlfriend has been with me for 2 years, and has given me lots of financial support and helped me with my studies when i was stressed out.
What is everyone elses opinion |
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| dj_mdma |
alternate between 60/40 for both sides...sounds silly, but i reckon it works, as neither side will feel underloved!
I've got the same sort of problem...this summer, i've been with my new gf, and have barely seen any of my friends, but when i do see them , i make every second count :) |
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| Streakfury |
Yeah you've got to strike a balance. I know a couple of people who manage it really well, but then i've seen far too many people lose friends because their girlfriends were attention whores. They just turn on the waterworks and their man is putty in their hands.
You've got to be firm. Tell her that as important to you as she may be, so are your mates, who you've known and trusted far longer than her. She should understand, and if she doesn't, well...
As for your mates, I guess you could try using the age old excuse "she's a woman" on them :p. I'm guessing they all know what some women can be like. They need attention and lurve and you gota give. They too should understand.
:) |
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| Floorfiller |
two years is a long time, but your friendship is even longer. i'm guessing you really like this girl if you two have been dating that long.
i would say in the heat of the moment...during the argument...you need to side with your girlfriend and tell your friends to lay off. then later you can talk to your girlfriend in private about what was up. same with the friends...but you shouldn't side against your girlfriend in front of people...at least that will give her the impression that you're on her side..even if you don't necessarily agree and if you've been such great friends with your chaps for that long...i'm sure that a little argument like that ain't gonna destroy things...
plus you can always throw that "she's a woman" suggestion in there with the boys later hahaha... |
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| jrbuddha |
| Bro's before Ho's |
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| Billabong |
| quote: | Originally posted by jrbuddha
Bro's before Ho's |
Thanks for the constructive comment in gangsta slang, join jerry springer as his sidekick before its to late! |
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| Mr. Pink |
Bros before hoes...yeah
but if you're in love with her.......you have to figure it out than just a ghey phrase like that....
you need to know how to manage your time. It sucks that your gf doesnt get along with yer friends and vice versa.....my gf is really great friends with mine, which helps.......
but you'll just need to manage yer time.
Dont be whipped cuz guys hate that.......but give yer gf enough attention (and her good) so that shes happy with it.
make both of yer friends understand.
sounds like yer gf is serious about u.......which is good man!
sounds like yer friends like you a lot.....another good thing.
have a guys night out.
go on a date with yer chick, stay in and watch a movie...
always have great sex (with her, not yer friends)
and try to manage yer man.
peACe |
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| Arbiter |
Sounds to me like your girl has a little growing up to do.
Let me see: she complains about how she is "still recovering from the incident," but you don't think she considers your feelings on the matter.
So my question is, if she doesn't consider your feelings on the matter, why should you consider hers?
She wants you to treat her better than your friends, but she offers you no understanding in return. Basically, she's trying to walk all over you. I recommend putting your foot down because that's just ridiculous. |
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| Knickers |
I am billabongs gf, Basically, im not a pathetic little girl who wants him all to myself, im not like that.
Firstly, all i have tried to do is be friends with billabongs mates, as it was very important to me that we all got on. It isn't just one 'incident' that has occurred and has been an ongoing battle for two years, and i have had some pretty nasty things said about me, lost a hell of a lot of confidence because of it, hence why i am still 'recovering from it'.
I have never tried to stop billabong seeing his mates, yet whenever me and him attempt to spend some time together, they will often manipulate the situation to stop it from happening. When i tried to talk to them to resolve the situation i get told its none of my business, or get called a bitch, minger or other similar term.
The reason i got upset is not because he sees them but because they hate me so much, yet seem to have no reason to. And i do consider the way billabong feels, and i know the situation is not his fault and i have never blamed him. So my question is, if in this situation, what would you do. We clearly cant carry on, its not fair on me and its not fair on billabong. Things between us would be great if it werent for their immature ways.
I dont complain when they ask billabong to go out, he needs his friends as much as i need mine (sometimes i have been upset but usually only when we have had something arranged and they decide they want him to go out, and if he doesnt we get a lot of abuse yelled at us). I dont mind it when they come round.
What else can i do, this is threatening to ruin our relationship |
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| Billabong |
Also another problem is that my friends want me to go to aus with them after i finish my exams, they will already be over there by the time i finish. My girlfriend cannot afford to go, and i really want to and can afford too. I have told nicki that i will also go on holiday with her too in the summer.
But nicki has told me it is her childhood dream, and will leave me if i go without her, i have told her that we can also go when she can afford too.
Am i being inconsiderate for wanting to go. Or should i wait and go when she can afford too. It could possibly be the only opportunity to go while my friends are there. |
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| Mr. Pink |
I feel bad for billabong...
knickers joined the forums just to reply to his thread.
Billabong should have his privacy Knickers.......sorry, but coming into this thread, joining the forums, and invading his privacy- along with bringing your private drama into here is not cool.
let the man speak his mind and get advice from us without barging into what could have been his last resort for complete freedom of u. |
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| Billabong |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mr. Pink
I feel bad for billabong...
knickers joined the forums just to reply to his thread.
Billabong should have his privacy Knickers.......sorry, but coming into this thread, joining the forums, and invading his privacy- along with bringing your private drama into here is not cool.
let the man speak his mind and get advice from us without barging into what could have been his last resort for complete freedom of u. |
Just to set the record straight nicki joined a month ago, and i encouraged her to join to take an active part in my interests so we could do something together, a sort of get to know you thing. She wanted to see why i liked what i like, if that makes sense. |
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