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How do you deal with rejection?
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| töbias |
If you speak to any successful people, or read their life stories, one thing that pops up time and time again is the amazing ability these people have to cope with rejection in its many forms.
So how do you deal with the girl you like not liking you back?
How do you cope with not getting that job?
What process occurs mentally when you approach a girl/guy in a club and they turn your advances down?
If you have a sales job and people say NO what do you do?
Personally, I look at it this way. People these days are are inclined to live in a little bubble and through self obsession, fear of the unknown, cynicism or failure to take a chance often reject their best opportunities.
Example, you could walk up to many people on the street and give them the week's winning lottery ticket and even though they might have millions of dollars right there most people will refuse to accept it, put it in the bin, not read it at all, or just be nice to save face.
So no matter how good something is most people will not even give themselves the opportunity to check it out for themselves. |
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| Ian^ |
| so when are you giving me this winning lotto ticket :conf: |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ian^
so when are you giving me this winning lotto ticket :conf: |
Hehe you said no when I offered it.
I just didn't say what it was.... |
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| Ian^ |
lol
best thing i can say is that if you become a sales person in the first place, u gotta know how to deal with rejection, you can't do what a US postman does & just blast people away :eek: |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ian^
lol
best thing i can say is that if you become a sales person in the first place, u gotta know how to deal with rejection, you can't do what a US postman does & just blast people away :eek: |
Rejection comes in many forms though, but in sales people must cop it alot, and most of us have had some job where we are selling something...
Its interesting to see how much most of spend in our lives trying to deal with rejection... |
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| beats and beeps |
Ive never asked a girl out. Ever. Seriously. I dont have the guts. Its a serious problem, but im not worried about it right now. Im a shy guy, but not one of those ones that wants a dominating loud girl.
I've had so many horrible horrible experiences where i get to know a girl and i absolutly KNOW that she knows how i feel, and that i know how she feels, but we end up in a sort of stalemate where both of us is afraid to say anything that would advance relationship.
Ick i needed to vent. Anyways ill probably change once i graduate.
Oh...so how this relates to the thread? Ive never been rejected :p |
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| Orbax |
Its something I call "Posteriorizing"
the ability to realize that its behind you and done with. The only time it benefits you to think about it is if there is something to be learned. After that its a matter of an eagerness for life, new things, new trials and tests.
Saying "ok that didnt work" and moving on is a valuable skill. Like Thomas Edison said "I now know 1000 ways not to make a light bulb". He didnt sit there and try to make his first shot at it work. He scrapped it and moved on.
I think people have a reallllll hard time cutting off losses though. Your stock is at 50, then 60, then 70!, then 60, then 55, then 45. and you sit there waiting for it to go back up just once so you can sell it except you should have sold it at 60 when you realized it was turning sour.
Cut your losses, move on, dont wait for them to fix themselves. New investments, new futures, and new gains are out there waitin ;) |
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| nrjizer |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
Its something I call "Posteriorizing"
the ability to realize that its behind you and done with. The only time it benefits you to think about it is if there is something to be learned. After that its a matter of an eagerness for life, new things, new trials and tests.
Saying "ok that didnt work" and moving on is a valuable skill. Like Thomas Edison said "I now know 1000 ways not to make a light bulb". He didnt sit there and try to make his first shot at it work. He scrapped it and moved on.
I think people have a reallllll hard time cutting off losses though. Your stock is at 50, then 60, then 70!, then 60, then 55, then 45. and you sit there waiting for it to go back up just once so you can sell it except you should have sold it at 60 when you realized it was turning sour.
Cut your losses, move on, dont wait for them to fix themselves. New investments, new futures, and new gains are out there waitin ;) |
I thought you'd have just said "drink" :D |
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| Orbax |
Hehe, normally I would. Ive had Pnuemonia and bronchitis for like 3 weeks though and my mom (who I was visiting for the weekend) took one look at me and sent me to the emergeny room lol. Good old college kids. I tried drinking my illnesses away in a 45 degree shack that my roommates and I live in.
The doctor was kind of shocked at my condition.
I told him not to recommend drinking half gallons of 100 proof vodka to his patients, it totally doesnt work for Pneumonia.
So yeah, ive been off the bottle since Halloween (and before that was another entire week) and its just not on the brain I guess :p
dont worry, thatll change eventually. |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
If you speak to any successful people, or read their life stories, one thing that pops up time and time again is the amazing ability these people have to cope with rejection in its many forms.
So how do you deal with the girl you like not liking you back? |
Deal with it like a gentleman, no need to create drama, cant expect every girl to love you.
| quote: | | How do you cope with not getting that job? |
Get pissed a bit, then look back at what I could of said that obviously made me not the right guy for the job.
| quote: | | What process occurs mentally when you approach a girl/guy in a club and they turn your advances down? |
Depends on the situation, cant expect every answer to be the same.
| quote: | | If you have a sales job and people say NO what do you do? |
Find out what they really are looking for, if they are really interested in buying, then try another item they might like.
| quote: | Personally, I look at it this way. People these days are are inclined to live in a little bubble and through self obsession, fear of the unknown, cynicism or failure to take a chance often reject their best opportunities.
Example, you could walk up to many people on the street and give them the week's winning lottery ticket and even though they might have millions of dollars right there most people will refuse to accept it, put it in the bin, not read it at all, or just be nice to save face.
So no matter how good something is most people will not even give themselves the opportunity to check it out for themselves. |
Well, on the same token, why should people feel trusting of every person they meet. The world of full of greedy, lying, scamming vultures looking for a quick buck. I mean, people have no choice but to becareful of every single thing in this world because everyone has at one time or another been ed over for being to trusting or too nice.
We are the victims of our own vices.
Oh and before you say anything, yes, I do from time to time try to put myself into some conversations without being an ass. |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by beats and beeps
Ive never asked a girl out. Ever. Seriously. I dont have the guts. Its a serious problem, but im not worried about it right now. Im a shy guy, but not one of those ones that wants a dominating loud girl.
I've had so many horrible horrible experiences where i get to know a girl and i absolutly KNOW that she knows how i feel, and that i know how she feels, but we end up in a sort of stalemate where both of us is afraid to say anything that would advance relationship.
Ick i needed to vent. Anyways ill probably change once i graduate.
Oh...so how this relates to the thread? Ive never been rejected :p |
I guess fear of rejection is in the same stream of thought.
I found myself in many situations like that it takes alot of personal strength to step over the line and take a risk. These days I don't really mind so much and its much better to deal with rejection than the feeling of regret. Regret is just the worst feeling I think... |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
I guess fear of rejection is in the same stream of thought.
I found myself in many situations like that it takes alot of personal strength to step over the line and take a risk. These days I don't really mind so much and its much better to deal with rejection than the feeling of regret. Regret is just the worst feeling I think... |
In my life, I never regretted anything except when it comes to women. |
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