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do you still talk with your ex? (pg. 7)
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by goodgreefgirl
i know that if i got pregnant, and the father automatically assumed i would get an abortion would make me mad.
so i respect your opinion in the sense that its the person's choice. its a very hard thing to go through for most girls, unless they're huge sluts and dont give a about life.
i had a scare once, when i was showing a lot of the right signs of pregnancy but wasnt positive and was too chicken to do a test. My boyfriend was very muchly there for me, making sure i know he's there in it together with me and if anytrhing happens he'll help and wont run off, BUT at the same time he assumed theres only one way out of it and thats abortion. it made me a little upset, but i guess it was because he and i never talked about what we might do IF anything like pregnancy should happen. |
Its an extremely touchy, and serious, and scary, subject.
You must have been a little freaked out by the whole situation. And often it takes something to go wrong for a person's true character to come out. Anybody can be perfect when things are going really well. Maybe it was good that you got a little insight into his subconscious mind.
Usually it only gets brought up in conversation when the heat is on, and then there are usually lots of emotions running around. Most people that have been having sex for a few years have a scare or two, and it can sometimes really test a relationship as people can be all fine and easy going until a little high pressure situation rears its head and people freak out.
On the subject I think that if you are in a relationship the best case is if you are both open with how you feel and come to agreement on what options you would take if something happened. But if you disagree I am of the view that you must respect the lady's decision, because it is her body and she is going to be wearing most of the emotional weight. |
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| blazed it |
| quote: | Originally posted by kamil
HELLS ING NO!
My ex is a ing SLUT! ed 8 guys in less than a year, WHILE BEING MARRIED, and lead all of them to beleive she actually loved them!
ING WHORE!!!!!!!!! :whip: :whip: :whip: |
was she american? :toothless if she was then I would now understand your hatred for the americanos. |
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| goodgreefgirl |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
Its an extremely touchy, and serious, and scary, subject.
You must have been a little freaked out by the whole situation. And often it takes something to go wrong for a person's true character to come out. Anybody can be perfect when things are going really well. Maybe it was good that you got a little insight into his subconscious mind.
Usually it only gets brought up in conversation when the heat is on, and then there are usually lots of emotions running around. Most people that have been having sex for a few years have a scare or two, and it can sometimes really test a relationship as people can be all fine and easy going until a little high pressure situation rears its head and people freak out.
On the subject I think that if you are in a relationship the best case is if you are both open with how you feel and come to agreement on what options you would take if something happened. But if you disagree I am of the view that you must respect the lady's decision, because it is her body and she is going to be wearing most of the emotional weight. |
yeah i totally agree, and other than the fact that he somewhat assumed that i would get an abortion IF i was pregnant, he was the most understanding person ever. EVEN when he knew it was only a scare he called me (we live apart from each other), just to make sure i was doing okay and when we talked, he'd look at it rationally and from a very mature point of view. it made me feel really confident that EVEN IF i was pregnant, it woulldn't be the end of the world because i had a boyfriend who really cared about me and made sure i was okay.he was even gonna come out, just to go to the clinic with me to get tested...
thats support without advice. and thats exactly what i needed at the time.... nothing more.. nothing less. |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by malek
but sometimes you're so into your own little bubble and too short sighted that you need advice.
trust me, everyone needs advice, especially a pregnant and single young female.
advice first, choice, then support. |
I find that more often than not people tend to do the opposite that people tell them to do.
Somewhere in our psyche is a need to make our own decisions and issued such as pregnancy and abortion should be dealt with by professionals, as in counsellors and the like. The human body releases many hormones during pregnancy that turn females into mothers and brings on a natural instinctual need to care for a baby, and advice from people watching from the outside can often be more bad than good.
I'm not trying to change your beliefs, and I'm sure that I have in fact offered advice to her. And because we dated previously we had the discussion on child rearing and she was very clear that she would not have an abortion if faced with the situation, so there was little need to talk about it. |
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| malek |
i still see no good reason for a young female to keep a child as a single mom. There's none.
Everyday I watch my secretary go on with her life, sometimes bringing the kid at work because there's no one to look after him, and I get more and more convinced about it.
The worst part is when I chat with the little fella, it breaks my heart hearing him. (from our building we can see the amusement park, we talk about it for a while, and the boy tells me how he can't go cause his mom has never enough cash...:( )
bringing to the world a poor child vs. the guilt of an abortion |
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| töbias |
| quote: | Originally posted by goodgreefgirl
yeah i totally agree, and other than the fact that he somewhat assumed that i would get an abortion IF i was pregnant, he was the most understanding person ever. EVEN when he knew it was only a scare he called me (we live apart from each other), just to make sure i was doing okay and when we talked, he'd look at it rationally and from a very mature point of view. it made me feel really confident that EVEN IF i was pregnant, it woulldn't be the end of the world because i had a boyfriend who really cared about me and made sure i was okay.he was even gonna come out, just to go to the clinic with me to get tested...
thats support without advice. |
Thats a pretty rare thing.
Most guys freak the out when faced with such a life changing event. Although sometimes there can be this period before it is total reality when it doesn't yet seem quite real.
This discussion just motivated me to give her a call and listen to her stories about having a big belly. |
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| goodgreefgirl |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
Thats a pretty rare thing.
Most guys freak the out when faced with such a life changing event. Although sometimes there can be this period before it is total reality when it doesn't yet seem quite real.
This discussion just motivated me to give her a call and listen to her stories about having a big belly. |
good, im sure she'll appreciate it :) |
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| BTG |
i used to sleep with an ex girlfriend a whole bunch.
infact she kept me laid for agood year after we broke up. :toocool: |
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| kamil |
| quote: | Originally posted by blazed it
was she american? :toothless if she was then I would now understand your hatred for the americanos. |
wow. :rolleyes: |
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| dj_lane |
one of my ex's i still talk to, no sex becuase shes ing someone else all the time
my last ex, shes the total bitch now, so nope... |
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| DJAntSmith |
NO! Stupid bitch! Cheat on me will you! I hope you are lonely and miserable forever!
Not that I'm bitter or anything.
I like my new gf a lot better! :) |
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| Spyder |
the min my ex broke up wiht me i honestly wanted to ask him if he wnated that... but i'm glad i didnt cuz i'm thinking now if i wanted to have sex with him i would feel like i would be getting involved and not only that isee the true side of him which really sux.
also i saw my friends fooling around after their break up and really it wasnt so pretty it ed my friends emotions up a lot and i really wouldnt want to doo that at least not with myself.
its funny cuz hes FINALY talking to me after the break up but i've deleted him off my msn list.. so its always so weird when he tries to talk cuz i know i should be civil but in reality i hate his guts and wish he would leave me alone... cuz he had his chance to talk with me and he never took the opertunity... if he really wants to try working on a friendship right now hes gona have to work EXTRA hard. i did my part i msg him i tried talking with him and everything he ignored me... so i gave up... if he shows me that he truly wants to try a friendship maybe then ... but then again ex relationships are ALWAYS strange no matter what. |
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