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Refusing to change for the sake of a relationship is retarded. (pg. 2)
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| D-res |
i think it completely dependso on what one is asking to change. i know a kid who is athiest, but he swears he believes in "God" now because his g/f wont date someone who isnt religious. thats bullshiznat imo...
i mean, if someone wants their significant other to lose weight, change their hair or something like that, then i can see where you're comming from, but if you have to change your mental and emotional self for the sake of a relationship, you're just cocky, hypocritical, and unreasonable... |
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| itsTrueSonic |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spacey Orange
I could not disagree more. Changing for oneself is acceptable, but for another is assanine. Now I understand why you were depressed, and hope you feel better. |
now why would changing for another be assanine? imo, the whole part of human nature is to adapt to your kind, and if one is different than the other, then we would need to adapt to their nature...
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| quote: | Originally posted by D-res
i think it completely dependso on what one is asking to change. i know a kid who is athiest, but he swears he believes in "God" now because his g/f wont date someone who isnt religious. thats bullshiznat imo...
i mean, if someone wants their significant other to lose weight, change their hair or something like that, then i can see where you're comming from, but if you have to change your mental and emotional self for the sake of a relationship, you're just cocky, hypocritical, and unreasonable... |
of course .. there are those situations .. change is good .. only to a certain extent.. if you feel that the change is going to ruin your life, then don't do it .. sounds like a double standard huh?.. hahaha . it all depends on what you define in your moral standards on whether if you think what is sufficient to change to your life.. as a matter of fact, do you think the people you interact with can affect you in an extent where you feel that you need to change you life??
i am a heavy catholic believer, which means a believer of god and everything .. even though my mind has been exposed to many atheist standards and positions, i still believe in that existential power to be that we cannot see ..
and love the photochop of vivid boy .. hahahhaa |
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| butterfly |
| quote: | Originally posted by D-res
i think it completely dependso on what one is asking to change. i know a kid who is athiest, but he swears he believes in "God" now because his g/f wont date someone who isnt religious. thats bullshiznat imo...
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i know a guy like that... he started practing religion more for my friend (his wife) although i think he was christian already in some sense. he also turned republican after they got married. but i think it was good for them. |
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| Lephaid |
You should change if you think it's to the better of yourself. If someone tried to force themselves on me I'd dump them quicker than anything, there's 6 billion other people out there.
That said, that doesn't mean you can't try and compromising a bit. I don't know, I'm a very dominating person when it comes to relationships. :p |
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| nrjizer |
On the contrary - I've seen way, way, way too many relationships fail (often very brutally) because the people in them compromise who they are, just for the sake of companionship and/or sex. Rushing into a relationship, or trying to build one on an unstable foundation, just for the sake of having a significant other, is just plain stupid.
Just about everyone has a desire to find a companion, but far too often people let that desire get the best of them, and they start chasing anyone they can find with a nice looking ass. Think of it as buying a car. It's a serious investment, it's something you're going to have to commit to. Would you buy a car from the first dealership you visit, on an impulse, because it looked cool? Sure, it may be a nice car, but is this really the one you want? Is it really going to work for you? Is it really worth the money and effort?
Sure, everyone would love a Camaro, but what if you're a guy who likes to ride dirtbikes up and down backwoods trails? Are you gonna put a dirtbike in a Camaro, then drive it around on rough dirt roads? If you're an idiot, maybe. If you were smart, you'd put your impulses aside and look for a nice truck. What about if you're the guy everyone carpools with? Are you gonna buy a two seat hatchback?
I'm not going to waste my time in a relationship with someone I'm not geuninely interested in, who's not genuinely interested in me, just for the sake of having a buddy or status quo. The only kind of partner worth giving up being yourself for, is the one who won't want you to. |
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| Cuervo79 |
| If you´re going to change change for the good of oneself not for a girlfriend, if she or he tells you something that you would like to change to improve then go right ahead... if not em |
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| Spacey Orange |
| quote: | Originally posted by itsTrueSonic
now why would changing for another be assanine? imo, the whole part of human nature is to adapt to your kind, and if one is different than the other, then we would need to adapt to their nature... |
I may have made an overly strong statment. I think its best to find a good fit and accept people for whom they are, not expect them to change or worse yet, try to change them. |
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| Arbiter |
| Changing yourself for the sake of a relationship is like putting a band-aid on a tumor. It never works, and it's just plain stupid. |
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| UWM |
| I think it's good for both people in a relationship to change a little bit for each other but not in a way that is going to make one or the other unhappy or compromise any happiness they already feel. |
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| wwu.punisher |
Wow. I did not create this thread with the expectation that it would turn into a discussion of "relationships" in a romantic sense. I was under the impression that most people understood that the word has as much to do with general social interactions as it does with sex. I'm a bit confused as to what it was in my original post that caused this to happen but considering how many, "I need help with girls," threads there are on this board, it doesn't surprise me much.
From this point forward, however, understand that my point in making this thread was not to discuss romance. In fact, I don't have nearly as many troubles as most people do in that department, nor would I post about it on an Internet forum if I was having difficulties. (I mean no offense to people who do post about it, of course. It's just not the kind of thing I like to do.) Rather, the focus of this thread was to point out that you have no choice but to adapt to at least some of the expectations of the "other half" in any social relationship if you expect it to work. Far too many people seem to ignore, or just flat-out don't realize, that this is the case, especially in an individualistic society. |
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| Spacey Orange |
| quote: | Originally posted by wwu.punisher
Rather, the focus of this thread was to point out that you have no choice but to adapt to at least some of the expectations of the "other half" in any social relationship if you expect it to work. Far too many people seem to ignore, or just flat-out don't realize, that this is the case, especially in an individualistic society. |
With all due respect, bollocks! You always have a choice in your relationships. You do not have to compromise yourself to have a meaningful relationship. If you believe that, then you're starting off on the wrong foot and are destined for misery. |
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| smokeape |
Good point, but I won't "adapt" to anything unless it's in my best interests. Folks can agree to disagree on a professional level, but on a personal level things change dramatically. You ought to gain something by "adapting". And just WTF is this undefined "adapting"? Brown-nosing, kow-towing, whipped, or what?
:mad:
[[[smoke]]]
Sultan & the Greek ft Stephanie Vezina - Wadi |
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