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Refusing to change for the sake of a relationship is retarded. (pg. 3)
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| Cal |
| quote: | Originally posted by butterfly
i agree that you should be able to adapt but if you have to change who you are to be with someone, it might not be right.
that being said, i was having issues with this yesterday with my bf. for example, he finds a lot of things i do to be horribly disgusting and i dont think much about it. one example is my abuse of the 3 second rule when your food falls on the floor... anyway, i thought about it and i normally make an effort to hide these disgusting things when i am around other people but i am at a comfort level with my bf (and my sister and one other person) where i can be a really gross. he claims it will make him less attracted to me so i said i would try to be less nasty. but sometimes old habits are hard to break.... |
AHAHAHA OMG thats amazing. I didn't know people like you existed. Damn, thats totally awesome. You rock!!!
On the other hand, you may also have horrible horrible deseases.:D
And anyway my opinion on this is that relationships are all about being happy, thats why people enter in relationships to attain that extra happiness. But if youre in a relationship and youre not happy because you had to change so much of yourself to adapt to the ralationship that really defeats the purpose of BEING in a relationship in the first place doesnt it. |
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| töbias |
Change in a relationship is a strange phenomomen.
People change just a little everyday, and we are influenced strongly by the people around us, especially our dating partners.
The weird thing is that you can either become more similar to the person you spend most time with, or you can actually become more different. Its quite common that the differences between two people that are often quite similar can be magnified over time.
Often the things that make you different from everybody else and your partner wishes they could change, are the things that make youi who you are and what you are, and when people try and make you change or adapt, its more than insulting.
People shouldn't have to change for anybody, and if you don't like the person you are with than you should be with someone else. No-one has the right to tell someone who they should be and you can be totally sure that when you try and change someone during the course of a relationship they are bound to resist the change no matter what, and often go to the opposite extreme.
I've always had the best times when I've respected someone's originality and their need to be different and do things their way, and really if its not a major major issue than whats the big deal? |
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| smokeape |
Great. Needed that retarded response to know you had no f*cking idea what you were talking about originally. Like how many doobies did you suck down dude? You're out there flapping with no discernable logic.
:haha:
[[[smoke]]]
Blue Haze - Into Nothing |
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| occrider |
| I would make sacrifices for someone, however, I refuse to make "changes" for anybody or anything except for myself. If this seems contradictory it's not. If I were to marry my gf, who is religious while I am not, I would be willing to make the sacrifice of a religious wedding in order to make her life easier to placate her parents. She knows not to ask more of me, and that it would be lip service at best. I personally don't give two s if I have to utter a meaningless phrase that I believe in God for all of 2 minutes. However, I refuese to compromise on my beliefs by attending mass or acutally being theological as a lifestyle. Therfore you should make minor sacrifices in you don't care about but don't dare think about changing your beliefs for anybody except yourself ... otherwise you're just another big that's going to be pushed around in life. |
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| Theresa |
| quote: | Originally posted by wwu.punisher
People who refuse to change something about themselves for the sake of a relationship make no sense. Existence is adaptation. Anyone who expects that there are people in the world who won't expect them to change at least one thing about themselves for the good of a relationship are unrealistic, naive, and in most cases immature. I'm sick of people bringing their ideals to the table and expecting that the person sitting on the other side is going to honor them.
ing society.
/rant |
OMG!! That is awesome!
My ex used to say "you cannot change me, there is nothing I will change for anyone", "what you see is what you get, I am not going to change."
LOL!! It wasn't like I was ever asking him to drastically make himself different, but he felt the need to be all firm and on that belief. I always thought it was so stupid!
When we first started seeing each other, he would hold his anger in, and then explode. I asked him not to do it around me, and he turned to me and was like "I'm not going to change who I am". But he did. He just didn't want it to seem like he was adapting to my request because he was stubborn.
People will always have to change small things, habits and mannerisms to adapt with other people so that they can get along. If people can't be bothered to make an effort to accomodate to little things, then they aren't even worth the time. They are too self-righteous and think that everything they do is perfect, and shouldn't NEED to change. :rolleyes: Yea right! |
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| Aristronica |
ohh no one of these!!!
i'd say that compromise in a relationship is important... and changing yourself sometimes is good is it's a horrible trait like an addiction... however if it's something like "you focus on soccer too much" or "quit listening to techno! country is teh sh1t" one tells that bitch to go herself. |
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| smokeape |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aristronica
ohh no one of these!!!
i'd say that compromise in a relationship is important... and changing yourself sometimes is good is it's a horrible trait like an addiction... however if it's something like "you focus on soccer too much" or "quit listening to techno! country is teh sh1t" one tells that bitch to go herself. |
Great response. We've already encapsulated it into a shorter term.
My way or the highway.
And there you have it.
:toothless
[[[smoke]]] |
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| {b.s.e.} |
| change should always be for the greater good, and not on the whim of demand and submission. use common sense, is a habit more important to you than the relationship? Or could you go without to make your significant other happy? |
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| smokeape |
How about we just close this thread for the good of all COR?
It was about stupid from the get go and getting nowhere further with each inane post.
Swamper, where art thou?
:whip:
[[[smoke]]] |
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| wwu.punisher |
| quote: | Originally posted by smokeape
How about we just close this thread for the good of all COR?
It was about stupid from the get go and getting nowhere further with each inane post.
Swamper, where art thou?
:whip:
[[[smoke]]] |
There's no reason to close this thread. In fact, I'd like to hear from a few people in specific before this one dies. |
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| wwu.punisher |
| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
OMG!! That is awesome!
My ex used to say "you cannot change me, there is nothing I will change for anyone", "what you see is what you get, I am not going to change."
LOL!! It wasn't like I was ever asking him to drastically make himself different, but he felt the need to be all firm and on that belief. I always thought it was so stupid!
When we first started seeing each other, he would hold his anger in, and then explode. I asked him not to do it around me, and he turned to me and was like "I'm not going to change who I am". But he did. He just didn't want it to seem like he was adapting to my request because he was stubborn.
People will always have to change small things, habits and mannerisms to adapt with other people so that they can get along. If people can't be bothered to make an effort to accomodate to little things, then they aren't even worth the time. They are too self-righteous and think that everything they do is perfect, and shouldn't NEED to change. :rolleyes: Yea right! |
Theresa, you get the gold star for the day. ;) |
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| tu_face |
| quote: | Originally posted by wwu.punisher
People who refuse to change something about themselves for the sake of a relationship make no sense. Existence is adaptation. Anyone who expects that there are people in the world who won't expect them to change at least one thing about themselves for the good of a relationship are unrealistic, naive, and in most cases immature. I'm sick of people bringing their ideals to the table and expecting that the person sitting on the other side is going to honor them.
ing society.
/rant |
true, but often it takes change from both sides. it can't be a one-sided thing. what i mean by that, is that if its 1 person doing all the changing then it don't work :) |
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