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Serious question concerning failed relationships (pg. 3)
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| Orbax |
My friends dad bought his wife a $30,000 diamond ring for christmas last year...and she loved it.
that. Id be so impressed if the woman said she wanted to rally out her car or being giving you blowjobs on a tropical island or something...but a ring?!?!? gah! |
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| Zild |
| Never fall head over heels for someone that quickly. Thats just setting yourself up. |
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| smokeape |
Dang, thought I already used this one tonight.
Well, if you miss her that much, let me give you a whiff of what you're missing...
:wtf:
[[[smoke]]]
Niki B and Christian E.F.F.E - Another Day (Deep Mix) |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Gunyouken
Why do woman like useless , like diamonds and jewelery?
I think it's cause their like crows, the like shiney stuff, and when you don't give them shiney stuff they peck your eyes out.... bitches. |
i'm probably one of the very few girls who will say... diamonds are worthless. they're overpriced and there is nothing all that special about them, imo. all these companies and their slogans (every kiss begins with Kay, a diamond is forever, blah blah blah) target the stupid brainless people who think "OMG i'm in love! i need diamonds to show off how wonderful our relationship is!" or "OMG i'm in love! i need to buy my girl diamonds!"... it's a rock, and considering most people can't even tell a diamond from a cubic zirconia, why waste your money? buy something more unique.
/rant |
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| Basstard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Zharen
But it wasn't a few days afterwards that as I had predicted, I was hearing stuff from my other friends saying she was already seeing some one else. A day after that, they were saying she was now this guy's boyfriend. |
yea i hate it too when you find out a girl you love has a dick :mad: :whip: |
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| Salem |
| quote: | Originally posted by torontotrance
Yup, anything over 6 months just bite
3 weeks still do a lot of damage but I guess you are young and you got a lot of time. I stayed out of dating for years on purpose because I did not want to date tripe and then about 6 weeks ago, I changed my tune because I found the one. I'm taking it slowly tho, I hate to rush anything but my g.f Hillary is extremely happy with Andy, so its all good. I say take your time, pick your spots and love will come when you least expect it, I know that happened to me. |
I hope your right andy.:) |
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| töbias |
To the original poster, there are some things you can control, and some things you can't.
Things you can't control:
- This girl not liking you and trying to give you a soft landing by making up some excuses.
- This girl having a few male options to choose from and picking someone else other than you.
Things you can control:
- You can realise that people will construct some pretty good stories to dump someone in an effort to not hurt their feelings hoping they are smart enough to get the message.
- Being rejected hurts lots and resisting the temptation to speak with the girl about how you feel as the best chance you have got at winning her back or having her like you is to be carefree, independent and emotionally detached.
- Realising that if a girl has stated that she has had problems in the past, has emotional baggage, doesn't want to settle down, doesn't want a serious relationship, it does not mean that she wants to remain single for the rest of her life, it means that she wants a relationship that is going to be low hassle and low stress.
And since you are getting all relationshippy after 3 weeks I'm guessing that you were beaten to the prize by a guy that played his cards a little better than you and gave her the fun stuff of a relationship without the full-on emotional committment. Unfortunately your behaviour after probably re-inforced her decision.
The best thing you can do is never talk with her about your feelings again, act like nothing ever happened, and be happy and a good friend to her. You will have to work doubly as hard to prove that you are attractive to girls, independent, emotionally mature and not soppy to make her like you again.
It sounds like she may have been through a bit and when someone has experienced bad things in their life or tough situations it can take months for them to get emotionally attached to someone, and if someone is lovey lovey to quick its a bit of a turnoff.
The positive is that if you played it just a little cooler and didn't get attached she'd probably be on your your arm instead. Thats not much work required for next time. |
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| NiteMer |
| quote: | Originally posted by töbias
To the original poster, there are some things you can control, and some things you can't.
Things you can't control:
- This girl not liking you and trying to give you a soft landing by making up some excuses.
- This girl having a few male options to choose from and picking someone else other than you.
Things you can control:
- You can realise that people will construct some pretty good stories to dump someone in an effort to not hurt their feelings hoping they are smart enough to get the message.
- Being rejected hurts lots and resisting the temptation to speak with the girl about how you feel as the best chance you have got at winning her back or having her like you is to be carefree, independent and emotionally detached.
- Realising that if a girl has stated that she has had problems in the past, has emotional baggage, doesn't want to settle down, doesn't want a serious relationship, it does not mean that she wants to remain single for the rest of her life, it means that she wants a relationship that is going to be low hassle and low stress.
And since you are getting all relationshippy after 3 weeks I'm guessing that you were beaten to the prize by a guy that played his cards a little better than you and gave her the fun stuff of a relationship without the full-on emotional committment. Unfortunately your behaviour after probably re-inforced her decision.
The best thing you can do is never talk with her about your feelings again, act like nothing ever happened, and be happy and a good friend to her. You will have to work doubly as hard to prove that you are attractive to girls, independent, emotionally mature and not soppy to make her like you again.
It sounds like she may have been through a bit and when someone has experienced bad things in their life or tough situations it can take months for them to get emotionally attached to someone, and if someone is lovey lovey to quick its a bit of a turnoff.
The positive is that if you played it just a little cooler and didn't get attached she'd probably be on your your arm instead. Thats not much work required for next time. |
Yep. As sad as it is, the less effort you put forth, the better off you are. If you make yourself a challenge, girls will be apt to chase after you. If you go falling in love, in three weeks no less, you will freak a girl out. She could probably feel that vibe and decided to get out of there. Hell, I don't want a relationship right now, unless the right girl showed up. If a girl starts acting possessive over me after a couple of weeks, I will start to avoid her. No one wants to be forced or pushed into anything. Keep that in mind in the future, and let things happen/mature naturally. |
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| butterfly |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
i'm probably one of the very few girls who will say... diamonds are worthless. they're overpriced and there is nothing all that special about them, imo. all these companies and their slogans (every kiss begins with Kay, a diamond is forever, blah blah blah) target the stupid brainless people who think "OMG i'm in love! i need diamonds to show off how wonderful our relationship is!" or "OMG i'm in love! i need to buy my girl diamonds!"... it's a rock, and considering most people can't even tell a diamond from a cubic zirconia, why waste your money? buy something more unique.
/rant |
i like diamonds cause they are shiny. a good accessory to any outfit. that being said, i dont think a man should have to put himself in debt to propose to a girl. but dont tell my bf that. |
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| butterfly |
tobias and slylee said everything i would have said on this.
though i wouldnt stay friends with her. lying should never be tolerated and she flat out lied to you.
the other thing is, not only girls do this. it's been done to me more than once. people are afraid of telling you the truth cause they feel guilty hurting your feelings. well let them be guilty. they deserve it for be manipulative. |
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| embeejay |
When I avoid giving a girlfriend an explanation of why I am dumping her it is always because I know the truth will hurt her far more than the uncertainty that follows not knowing. If I know that the truth will dammage her selfesteem for example, and i know that she has selfdoubts already, I always opt not to tell her, and as hard as this might be to hear, that could explain why she "couldn't" tell you. For you own good.
Another explanation could be that you weren't interesting enough, from experience I have learned that being "the ideal boyfriend" and delivering every womans (spoken) dream can be quite the relationship killer. Most woman (and probably men as well) will not admit to their true desires, because it will leave them too vulnerable. I have burned my fingers more than once on women who outwardly wanted "Mr. Nice guy" whom they could depend upon, but inwardly wanted/needed a "bad boy" who they had to struggle to hold onto. In that case they "can't explain" what it is, because they will have to face the fact that what they want/need and what they think they want are too far apart for them to handle in the open.
I am not saying any of this to bring you down, just dishing out experience, however twisted it might be. |
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| Orbax |
MAN RULE:
When breaking up its because of THE MAN. Lie to her but still, tell her its over. You discovered you like boofing guys in the ass, anything other than her being flawed. Girls are ed up enough, dont pass her off to me even nuttier than the bitch was before :D |
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