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Birth Signs
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| Slylee |
in light of the hijacking of the tatoo thread, i thought i'd start an astrology thread since some people were showing interest.
anyway, here's a funny forward i got. obviously it's a joke...i think this was adam sandler's astrology or something, i remember getting this a long time ago too.
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AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks you are a freakin' jerk.
PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20) You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their noses.
ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19) You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick.
TAURUS(Apr 20 - May 20) You are practical and persistent. You have dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn Communist.
GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20) You are quick and intelligent and a thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a damn.
LEO (Jul 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo people are thieving bastards and kiss mirrors a lot.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. This -picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
LIBRA (Sep 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of veneral disease.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21) You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio people are murdered.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 21) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks and pot heads. People laugh at you a lot because you are always getting ed.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chicken . There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.
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| Cloudburst |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
GEMINI (May 21 - Jun 20) You are quick and intelligent and a thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest. |
:D
"Love you sister." |
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| Lateralus |
| Yeah, thats the Adam Sandler horoscope. Classic. |
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| muzzybear |
CANCER (Jun 21 - Jul 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a damn.
Hahahahahah! So true. I have a job interview tomorrow (but I do have a job right now). :D |
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| UWM |
| Nice, I would make a good pimp. |
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| Mebot |
I'm a Sagitarrius
the drunk thing is true.. the pot head is not true. People usually don't laugh at me getting ed. I am optimistic and enthusiastic.
I give this horoscope a 50/100. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20) You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their noses.
p |
i never touched that rooster i swear :nervous: |
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| plasticgrooves |
| quote: | | TAURUS(Apr 20 - May 20) You are practical and persistent. You have dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamn Communist. |
:stongue: |
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| Slylee |
ok the serious ones...
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Aries is symbolized by the Ram. You're initiating, bold and impatient, your fiery nature making you irresistible and exciting. While you can be impulsive and combative, you're the absolute leader of the pack -- in team sports, business or just your group of friends and family!
link for more aries stuff
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/aries.html
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| quote: | Taurus is symbolized by the Bull. You may be stubborn, but your grounded, steady demeanor makes you someone others can count on. You're also a sensualist who loves good food, physical affection, romance and material goods -- and only the best of everything.
link for more taurus stuff
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/taurus.html
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| quote: | Geminiis symbolized by the Twins. You're flexible, flirty and inventive. Intelligent to the extreme, your idea of a good time is a lively conversation -- or better yet, a friendly debate. Thanks to the Twins' influence, you sometimes feel split in two directions and don't know what to do!
link for Gemini
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/gemini.html |
| quote: | Cancer is symbolized by the Crab. You're deeply emotional and intuitive, and your top concern is family. Something of a homebody, you prefer to stay in rather than go out on the town. You can be moody, drawing into your protective shell if things get too intense around you.
link for cancer
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/cancer.html |
| quote: | Leois symbolized by the Lion. You're stubborn yet impulsive. You're also showy, dramatic and sometimes vain. You have a sunny demeanor and love to be the center of your loved ones' adoration. You'd make a great actor; in fact, many actors are born under a Leo Sun.
link for leo
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/leo.html |
| quote: | Virgo is symbolized by the Virgin. You're flexible, yet practical. You get a kick out of organization and anything that puts your analytical mind to use. Watch out for perfectionism! Virgos feel and operate best in a position in which they can help others.
link for virgo http://www.astrology.com/ssc/virgo.html |
| quote: | Libra is symbolized by the Scales. You're romantic but particular, diplomatic but indecisive, but ultimately happiest when you're in love. You don't really like to be alone, period. You abhor conflict, and have a highly developed sense of objectivity and conflict resolution.
link for libra
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/libra.html |
| quote: | Scorpio is symbolized by the Scorpion. Intense and emotionally perceptive, you pick up on unspoken words and speak the language of gesture. Deep, mysterious and magnetically attractive, you yearn for emotional intimacy. If hurt, you really sting -- and you don't forgive easily!
link for scorpio
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/scorpio.html |
| quote: | Sagittariusis symbolized by the Archer. You're impulsive and inquisitive, needing travel and constant exposure to new foods, people, landscapes and things to do. Change is one thing you can't do without; you are a truth-seeker, and will go to the ends of the earth to find answers.
link for sagittarius
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/sagittarius.html |
| quote: | Capricornis symbolized by the Goat. You're motivated, determined and practical. You see no need to take unnecessary risks. Career is a major concern for you; advancement and recognition are alluring concepts. You are ambitious and strong, but also somewhat conservative.
link for capricorn
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/capricorn.html |
| quote: | Aquarius Aquarius is symbolized by the Water Bearer. You possess a quick intellect and an expansive mind keen on innovation and progressive thought. You're a rebel, but one who really needs people around. You have tons of friends, but you tend not to get too intimate with any one person.
link for aquarius
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/aquarius.html |
| quote: | PiscesPisces is symbolized by the Fish. You're empathetic, openhearted and intuitive. You rely on your instincts rather than facts or logic, experiencing things almost completely subjectively. Daydreamy and creative, you prefer to go with the flow rather than fight the current.
link for pisces
http://www.astrology.com/ssc/pisces.html |
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| Mebot |
wow that uncanny (the horoscope for sagitarrius) because i leave on Monday to study abroad for 5 months.
I will also be traveling around all of Europe as well. |
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| Floorfiller |
| see now that picses is right on with me i think... |
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