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did i just cheat? (pg. 4)
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| eRRaTiK |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sand Leaper
You're not in a relationship with any of them, so frankly I don't see what the big deal is. |
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| ZzZ The Goddess |
| Do as you will, as long as you arent misleading either one of them you arent doing anything wrong. If at some point one of them tries to discuss having a relationship with you you will either have to choose or be honest about what you want. |
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| lücid |
don't ever tell a new girlfriend about stuff that's still going on with an old girlfriend. basically, no girl that has a romantic interest in you is going to want to hear you talk about your ex. that kind of stuff should be discussed with friends, or people who are indifferent to the new relationship. if you're interested in persuing a relationship with the new girl, then don't say anything about the ex to her... and it's probably a wise idea to stop ing around with the ex as well.
but to answer your question... no, i don't think you cheated. it's not exactly cool to be ing around with your ex while you're trying to date other girls, but i don't think its full-fledged cheating. it's just disrespectful. you're somewhat leading the new girl on. she might be thinking that you're all into her and that a great relationship might be starting, daydreaming about being with you forever (trust me girls are crazy), and you're not giving it 100%. i believe if you are starting any relationship, both people have to be in it 100% or it's just not going to work. if you can't give 100%, then obviously it's not the right girl or the right time for you. |
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| UWM |
| You can't cheat on somebody if you aren't dating them. |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
don't ever tell a new girlfriend about stuff that's still going on with an old girlfriend. basically, no girl that has a romantic interest in you is going to want to hear you talk about your ex. that kind of stuff should be discussed with friends, or people who are indifferent to the new relationship. if you're interested in persuing a relationship with the new girl, then don't say anything about the ex to her... and it's probably a wise idea to stop ing around with the ex as well.
but to answer your question... no, i don't think you cheated. it's not exactly cool to be ing around with your ex while you're trying to date other girls, but i don't think its full-fledged cheating. it's just disrespectful. you're somewhat leading the new girl on. she might be thinking that you're all into her and that a great relationship might be starting, daydreaming about being with you forever (trust me girls are crazy), and you're not giving it 100%. i believe if you are starting any relationship, both people have to be in it 100% or it's just not going to work. if you can't give 100%, then obviously it's not the right girl or the right time for you. |
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| NiteMer |
| I already told you the "friends with benefits" story of mine. Be careful. She'll tell you that it's okay to just have sex and then give you the lovy eyes anyway. Girls get attached. It's what they do. If you are honest in conveying that you only want the sex, you haven't done anything wrong, but it gets tough the longer it goes on. Especially if you know that they are just okay with it, because they'd rather have just the sex than nothing. Just let things happen naturally with the new girl and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out, we'll find you some more girls. That isn't really too hard. I need to meet some of your platonic girlfriends too, one of these days. I've got tons of those too, as you saw on Friday, that I can set you up with. |
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| NiteMer |
| quote: | Originally posted by Michael19
still seems you like her too much to say no, thus not really over here!
only way is to stop the one-night stands happening and you really should cut all contact. If you keep shagging her every so often you will spend the next day and week thinkging about her none stop. Tis a vicious circle.
keep seening the other girl, but not seriously. and keep away from the ex until you no you can control yourself around her!
oh, try the mount the girl in work aswell sure! |
I disagree. I don't think he isn't over his ex, I think he still wants to hit it (especially if he's drunk with her alone). Seems pretty natural. I won't sleep with a particular ex anymore, but if I get drunk, it could happen. My thought process goes out the window. If he's serious about the new girl, he should stop sleeping with the ex. If he doesn't know, which seems to be the case, he can continue this way until one of them forces him to make a decision.
Don't tell the ex about the new girl, though. That could really get you screwed over in the end. |
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| Mr. Pink |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
1. did i just this girl over?
2.i mean, we went out like three times and never really talked about being exclusive yet...
3. do i tell this girl about last night?
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1. No you did not
2. This is the reason why you did not
3. No!!!!
so that was the quick version of my advice....
essentially, why bother telling her when you havent discussed being steady with one another? It'd be pointless to tell her.
Anyway, nothing wrong with hooking up with someone you cared about from the past, even if you are sort of dating another person. Always test those waters again, keep the options open.
Once you get her (the new girl) to be your girlfriend (if she does), then cool it with other chicas. But until then, its all fair game ;) |
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| Mr. Pink |
| ps: dont be a , jason! :tongue2 |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
but to answer your question... no, i don't think you cheated. it's not exactly cool to be ing around with your ex while you're trying to date other girls, but i don't think its full-fledged cheating. it's just disrespectful. you're somewhat leading the new girl on. she might be thinking that you're all into her and that a great relationship might be starting, daydreaming about being with you forever (trust me girls are crazy), and you're not giving it 100%. i believe if you are starting any relationship, both people have to be in it 100% or it's just not going to work. if you can't give 100%, then obviously it's not the right girl or the right time for you. |
yeah i agree...it was disrepectful. and just to kinda laugh at something you said...the whole girls daydreaming thing, that's usually me hahaha :p. i don't know what this new girl thinks about me. she's one of these people that is always really busy and into her stuff...and it's been kind of hard for me to see her, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she isn't interested. i think that if this had happened after a few more times of seeing this new girl, i probably wouldn't have done anything with the ex...because it is like you said disrespectful and i hate dishonesty in relationships...
| quote: | Originally posted by NiteMer
I already told you the "friends with benefits" story of mine. Be careful. She'll tell you that it's okay to just have sex and then give you the lovy eyes anyway. Girls get attached. It's what they do. If you are honest in conveying that you only want the sex, you haven't done anything wrong, but it gets tough the longer it goes on. Especially if you know that they are just okay with it, because they'd rather have just the sex than nothing. Just let things happen naturally with the new girl and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out, we'll find you some more girls. That isn't really too hard. I need to meet some of your platonic girlfriends too, one of these days. I've got tons of those too, as you saw on Friday, that I can set you up with. |
see we did talk about that stuff the other night. she told me she didn't want to give me the wrong idea...which in the past i might have gotten the wrong idea, but now...i know where we stand. we just have a lot of sexual chemistry.
oh and about my platonic girlfriends hahaha...well...most of the girls you were hanging out with on friday are way better man. there is a reason they are platonic friends hehehe ;)...but hey...you can still hit it if you want...i don't care hehehe
| quote: | Originally posted by NiteMer
I disagree. I don't think he isn't over his ex, I think he still wants to hit it (especially if he's drunk with her alone). Seems pretty natural. I won't sleep with a particular ex anymore, but if I get drunk, it could happen. My thought process goes out the window. If he's serious about the new girl, he should stop sleeping with the ex. If he doesn't know, which seems to be the case, he can continue this way until one of them forces him to make a decision.
Don't tell the ex about the new girl, though. That could really get you screwed over in the end. |
see i agree because it's not like i couldn't say no...i just didn't want to. i knew what i was doing...it wasn't even really a drunk thing. i mean, we both had some drinks to start out the night, but really we both knew exactly what we were doing...neither of us thought it was a drunken mistake.
| quote: | Originally posted by Mr. Pink
essentially why bother telling her when you havent discussed being steady with one another? It'd be pointless to tell her.
Anyway, nothing wrong with hooking up with someone you cared about from the past, even if you are sort of dating another person. Always test those waters again, keep the options open.
Once you get her (the new girl) to be your girlfriend (if she does), then cool it with other chicas. But until then, its all fair game ;) |
i don't plan on telling her...you're right that there wouldn't be a point. i mean, of course if we were seriously dating and i was put in that position again...of course i would turn it down.
but anyway, thanks everyone for the great opinions and advice...really good points and thoughts on all sides of it...i appreciate the feedback
(and thanks for baring with another of my stupid relationship threads...i know they are probably getting old :wtf: ) |
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| NiteMer |
| Nice thesis paper. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'm sure things are just fine as they are. When "the talk" happens, you will have to stop sleeping with your ex. Until then, hit it some more brotha. |
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| ShadoWolf |
No harm done....yet. Howver, this situation can't go on; it's not fair to either of them.
Therefore, I'm giving you 24 hours to choose one of them. Ready...
Go. |
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