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My aunt had a stroke
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| tribu |
I came home from work to find out that a family member of mine, one who is in good shape, middle-aged, and generally active has had a stroke. This is a relative Im particularly fond of/close to, and Im pretty sad about the whole situation. I'm supposed to be leaving town tomorrow for a 5 day vacation, but with my aunt hospitalized and very likely to die, Im kind of worried about picking up and leaving because i'd really like to be here. However, I also have friends who are higly expectant of me making this trip, and Im kind of torn about what to do.
Anyone ever had such a dilemna where a relatives demise interrupted some highly personal plans? Is it fair or possible to stratify the living and the dead in some kind of improtance ranking? |
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| DarkAngel |
| I can only offer you my deepest condonlences. |
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| Nicholas T |
| sorry man, i know how it feels. |
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| guster |
Well. My dad was in the UAE when my grandma died. He came back immediately. Talk with your family and decide what to do. If they're okay with it you might as well go and get your mind off of it. It's a tough call, that's why I'd say check in with them before making any decisions.
I hope your aunt gets better. My great grandma died of a stroke at age 93. If she hadn't been so old, I'm sure she would've recovered. One of my high school teachers had a massive stroke and he recovered from it. |
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| verndogs |
yes
I had to skip the WMC this year because I had to go to Florida earlier this month to visit my grandmother (who is starting to suffer fram alzheimer's) for her birthday
I would say to be at your aunt's bedside. You'll always have another vacation
and my deepest condolences:( |
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| xx_lucy_xx |
First off im really sorry, lifes a barsteward,
Stay at home, explain the situ to your friends and im sure they would understand, just do what you feel is best and not pleaseing anyone else. |
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| BOOM ZIG BOOM!! |
| Thats a tough one. To be honest I would say to a person to go ahead and do their thing, but I myself would not go if I was in your situation. But like I said I'd say go as long as you arent going to feel like the whole time you know? The other important thing is that she has other family members close like a husband or your mom or something because dying in a hospital bed alone with nobody there isnt supposed to be very fun. There should be someone there to sort of make them want to keep living. Even if you think they arent very aware or in control of their situation youd be surprised. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
I, personally, would stay with my aunt. You have an entire lifetime ahead of you to have fun with your friends, but you can't be sure at this point in the game whether or not you have an entire lifetime ahead of you to talk to your aunt. If your friends are really friends, they will understand.
But that's just me - that's my personality - if I make any sort of bond at all with somebody, it's a really strong one, especially for family members. I guess I'm just loyal that way. |
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| liquidmist2001 |
| quote: | Originally posted by DarkAngel
I can only offer you my deepest condonlences. |
same here man, my grandfather died of a stroke and i know exactly what it feels like.
all i can say is, that if i were you, i'd be with my family. if your friends are actually really good friends, then they will understand your situation. besides, do you really think you'll be able to enjoy yourself when you're constantly gonna be thinking about your family...
just my opinion... i guess i'm still mad at the fact that i was there for my grandfather when he needed me the most... |
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| Nicholas T |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
I, personally, would stay with my aunt. You have an entire lifetime ahead of you to have fun with your friends, but you can't be sure at this point in the game whether or not you have an entire lifetime ahead of you to talk to your aunt. If your friends are really friends, they will understand.
But that's just me - that's my personality - if I make any sort of bond at all with somebody, it's a really strong one, especially for family members. I guess I'm just loyal that way. |
+1 |
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| Spacey Orange |
TRIBU
last year, about this time, my aunt died from a stroke too. the thing though, was that my nephew (and her oldest grandson) was getting married about 10 days later. his wedding was something that she realy looked forward to because he was her oldest greandchild. what to do right? postpone the wedding or go through with it?
well, given that many plans had been, people were traveling from far away, and that my aunt probably would not have wanted to postpone the wedding on the count of her untimely death, the wedding went on as planned.
what to do you in your case though? what would she want you to do? would she want you to celebrate your recent graduation or stick around her? if i was her, i'd want you to go. tough choice. |
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| Dervish |
My grandad had a mini-stroke (TSI or something, when it blocks but starts again), he was half way up the stairs, he's basicly blind and practicly deaf. Old bugger still tried to drag himself up stairs even though his whole left side was ed. Luckily I was staying with him and my gran at the time and I held him up till my uncle then the docs and so on came. He's fine now still drinks a bottle of whisky(cheapest possible) a week at 90. :toothless
You know the situation best yourself. But I'd say from other experiances (serious family stuff) like these, that at the time I tended to be sort of disconnected from reality a bit because of the shock(not really shock it was long lasting, weeks even months). You don't take in the full effect of these things at the time. So I'd think really hard about wheater or not to go. If she dies and your not there what is the rest of the family going to think of you? And what can you do about it later? (harsh but I'm talking from experiance here a mistake I made) |
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