|
I think i need help.....
|
View this Thread in Original format
| Jackson |
Firstly, do not take the piss ok...i'm not in the mood to be dealing with people posting pointless comments about this subject when i'm admitting i have a problem.
Ok, i think i need help. I keep having arguements with my parents over the stupidist of things, and i get angry over the smallest things...its almost like everything aggitates me. So, i think i may need to look into some form of anger management.
I've tried meditating...it calms me, but i'd need to work on it alot more for it to work in everyday life.
I can't use sport as an outlet of anger at the moment because (as most of you know) of my abdominal problem.
I'm going to be starting counselling again in about 2 weeks. Hopefully they will be able to help me with this problem and get me in touch with someone who can help. I'm not sure if its me or the pills i'm on because i'm on 6 different types of tablets daily so it might just be the pain killers messing with me...but i dont know, its been going on for a while....i'm just getting so confused :(
So what i'm asking is:
Have any of you been to an Anger management session?
Do you have any advice as a way to calm me down rather than getting annoyed.
Have any of you been to a type of counselling/psychiatrist?
Any help is appreciated. |
|
|
| Psy-T |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jackson
Do you have any advice as a way to calm me down rather than getting annoyed.
Any help is appreciated. |
first step imo:
try to analyze what got you mad each time after you get in an arguement or anything that gets you mad.
p.s - my first guess is it's a chemical imbalance issue (unless you were prone to anger before the medical issues) |
|
|
| pyro |
| i've been to counselling but not for an anger issue although i should probably go for that too. i had to go because of something i did at work and basically they just told me stuff i already knew i had to do and didn't help at all. could be that they were cheap help because my work payed for it. things that help me when i'm angry is talking about it or rollerblading till i drop listening to loud music. gl with figuring it out. |
|
|
| Floorfiller |
i like to try and play self-psycologist because i believe i'm smart enough to rationalize my own behaviours, but i've thought about it before. mostly after i broke up with my last girlfriend because i was pretty depressed after it hehe.
as far as anger issues. i don't know if i can give you any advice because i'm personally a very passive and dismiss a lot of things that seem to make a lot of other people mad.
i guess my only suggestion would be to think about how your life is when you're angry. do you like the person you are? do you like feeling so out of control and stressed? of course not. so why do you let yourself get that way? |
|
|
| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jackson
Have any of you been to an Anger management session?
Do you have any advice as a way to calm me down rather than getting annoyed.
Have any of you been to a type of counselling/psychiatrist? |
no
yes
yes
First of all its normal for parents to piss the out of you. If your living under their roof then your obligated to put up with their . So either move out or learn how to deal.
Second these little things aren't the cause, they are the trigger that release your pent up anger towards your current situation, your parents, or yourself.
You need to take responsibility for your actions and set up a lists of things to do that will improve your situation. If you were happy with your life, these little things wouldn't bother you. You also need to learn how communicate to others in a constructive way when you're dissatisfied. Oh in addition to counselling (which can help you come to terms with the underlying cause), meds can help you relax. |
|
|
| vrahnos |
the only person who can help you, is YOU.
psychiatrists have more mental problems than other people...i'm a security guard in a hospital, i have contact with psychiatrists and patients every day, i can assure you that psychiatrists need more help than the patients!! :wtf:
i was in a situation like yours when i was 18, i volunteered to the army, i wanted to get the away from here, so i did, i had many time to think almost EVERYTHING, after 14 months i had finished my army-time and everything was ok, i was better than ever.
i mean, maybe you just need time alone with yourself. |
|
|
| Dervish |
Is that you get pissed off really quickly, or slowly?
Cos I normally get pissed off slowly but don't tell people and I let it build to a point where I go from being normal(not convaying I'm pissed off) to pycho.
I've tried explaining it to people but people normally laugh cos I'm usually very much "mr nice guy". But then if they do piss me off to "that point" they think I'm mental.
If it is a slow thing, try telling them your getting pissed off as you get so. If that doesn't work walk away (simple but effective). And try to calm yourself down.
I remeber one time with an ex where I actually stood there going "ok ok breath breath breath" cos I was on the verge of (shouting seriously loud) abandoning her in Kings Cross Station in London because she was blaming me for missing the train (back upto scotland) when it was actually her fault.
I was trying to avoid conflict by not arguing and not escalating it but she was seriously pissing me off, and kept going.
I told her a few months after when I was trying to re-explain that I can lose it and she was laughing again when I told her I was an inch from making a huge scene and dumping her back then she was shocked. |
|
|
| vrahnos |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dervish
I remeber one time with an ex where I actually stood there going "ok ok breath breath breath" cos I was on the verge of (shouting seriously loud) abandoning her in Kings Cross Station in London because she was blaming me for missing the train (back upto scotland) when it was actually her fault.
|
man this is the only thing that makes me REALLY mad.
when they blame me for something i havent do, or for something that is not my fault,
fortunately my anger goes away quickly!
edit: too bad that i never payed attention to english classes, i'm always editing my posts because of my in spelling/grammar! :p |
|
|
| Psy-T |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
i like to try and play self-psycologist because i believe i'm smart enough to rationalize my own behaviours, but i've thought about it before. mostly after i broke up with my last girlfriend because i was pretty depressed after it hehe.
as far as anger issues. i don't know if i can give you any advice because i'm personally a very passive and dismiss a lot of things that seem to make a lot of other people mad.
i guess my only suggestion would be to think about how your life is when you're angry. do you like the person you are? do you like feeling so out of control and stressed? of course not. so why do you let yourself get that way? |
me and jason are very much alike, except i LOVE acid & shemales while he only LIKES acid & shemales :clown: |
|
|
| Omega_Blue |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
First of all its normal for parents to piss the out of you. If your living under their roof then your obligated to put up with their . So either move out or learn how to deal.
|
+1 a little blunt but this was what i was about to suggest. i had the same problem a couple years back with my parents.. and i moved out. our relationship got much better after that. |
|
|
| Orbax |
Anger is the feeling we get when someone or something will not submit to our will.
Try to be less controlling and communicate with people more. Dont expect people to read your mind, and if they say something that is seemingly "dick" ask them what they meant by that and why they said it and what the purpose of it as applied to the subject at hand was.
Make people explain themselves because most of the time people arent out there to get into pissing contests because even if you win you still have high blood pressure. People generally would rather just get along.
so yeah, have longer talks and realize the mission isnt to get your point across but to solve the issue. Stay away from personal .
edit:
also Zen is a great thing to read up on. The idea is to get rid of dualistic thinking eg, its either THIS or THAT so now choose! rendering down really complex things into stuff like "Ok you wont let me go do X so youre either an or an idiot, which one are you?"
Maybe they just talked to a friend at work whos husband died and that made them sad and they want you around the house tonight because they are subconsciously thinking about the frailty of life and how important it is.
Just sayin that try to get at exactly what the issue is, and then work on that. Steer clear of letting them talk about their agenda for the issue, and just stick to the issue with gentle reminders that you are talking about something else and you can have a discussion on that topic later.
So other piece there is realize the complexity of problems and try to get a more well rounded idea of whats happening in your mind.
When you constantly surrounded by people who are either inconsiderate or stupid, its a frustrating world. |
|
|
| Jackson |
Thats funny Orbax, because i've been intending to start on a book i bought a while back called "Teach yourself Zen buddhism", i have always tried to keep inline with buddhist beliefs but my short temper made that difficult.
Dervish, i have a mixture of what you suggested. Small, irrelivent things make me angry very quickly, but it makes me angry inside so it builds and builds and then its like i have a sudden mood change.
IGK - thanks for puttin it blunt, sometimes that helps. However, with regards meds helping me relax...i dont want to use anymore meds to change my behaviour since i've already messed myself up alot. I was on a drug called Seroxat that was perscribed to me when i was 17 (i'm 18 now) and shouldnt have been given to me (I was told this by a professor at a hospital. In the uk Seroxat has been a very controversial drug for making young men suicidal. It made me suicidal, very very aggressive and totally changed who i was, yet i still craved the drug and if i went without it for 24 hours i would end up having a pannic attack. So unless its natural, i want to avoid drugs.
Leaving home is not an option...i cant go into details but its not possible...plus i feel its me who needs to change, not my parents or my parents attitude. I spoke to my dad this evening, i apolagised for how i've been acting and what i think the reasons may be. I also suggested when i go to councilling to pick up some info on Anger management and he and my mum agreed.
I feel i need a fresh start on things. Mainly for my sake, i'm doing this for myself...but also for my gf...shes stood by me while i went through that rough patch then i felt better last Autumn...Now i'm going downhill again and i dont want to put her, my family or myself through that again. |
|
|
|
|
