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Some particulars about men & women.
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| AlphaStarred |
Got this in the e-mail from my MOM!! I'm sure some of them are pretty old but damned funny anyway.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.........49.
Adventurous.........Slept with everyone.
Athletic.........No breasts.
Average Looking.........Moooo.
Beautiful.........Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.........On medication.
Feminist.........Fat.
Free Spirit.........Junkie.
Friendship first.........Former slut.
New-Age.........Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.........No BJs.
Open-minded.........Desperate.
Outgoing.........Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional.........Bitch.
Voluptuous.........Very Fat.
Large frame.........Hugely fat.
Wants Soul mate.........Stalker.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead = You better not
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry = I am hungry
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay |
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| smokeape |
Nice mom post! Is she adventurous?
:D
[[[smoke]]]
Luis Paris - Crystal Kiss (Vox Mix) |
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| Lepanto |
| Tell your mom nice email and smoke a blunt with her :p |
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| Goashem |
| beautiful ..... pathalogical liar! HAHAHAHA! |
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| AlphaStarred |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lepanto
Tell your mom nice email and smoke a blunt with her :p |
Too late for that, I'm afraid. We'd smoked a J several hours back, but she went to sleep about an hour ago and I just smoked again about a nick to the neck . :D |
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| EriK_V |
| hahaha, that post is classic |
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| Lepanto |
| quote: | Originally posted by AlphaStarred
Too late for that, I'm afraid. We'd smoked a J several hours back, but she went to sleep about an hour ago and I just smoked again about a nick to the neck . :D |
Damn, and you didn't call? :( |
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| {b.s.e.} |
| she must have forwarded that to every failed comedian in the world. |
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| Echo of Silence |
haha, so I should say I'm athletic.
;) |
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| {b.s.e.} |
| quote: | Originally posted by Echo of Silence
haha, so I should say I'm athletic.
;) |
and a minx :wtf: |
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