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ok so situation...
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| Floorfiller |
so i'm starting to get the impression that my ex is starting to get a thing for one of my best friends. now i know the kind of guy that he is...he's "very nice" guy like myself so that's not an issue here. i also do know how he is with women however, and he's not the kind of person to turn a girl away for sex hahaha. and she knows this too of course as he used to be my roomate and we've all known each other a good while.
i had noticed they started hanging out more...and i had to stop and say to myself "i didn't know they were that good of friends?" then i find out last week that my ex has been having a lot of problems and she confided in him about them. i dunno, i mean, i know that he would never turn her away and that is trying to be the good friend, which he is, but i guess i'm just a little scared of it turning into something between them. of course if it did happen, i would have to accept it because they both are important to me, but i know atleast for a while it'd really hurt. i certainly wouldn't want it going on behind my back...i'd rather i knew if something was going down...so what do i do? do i ask my ex about it? do i ask my friend?
last week when she confided in him about what she's going through, the way he put it was basically like:
ex: "hey can i talk to you for a second?"
friend: "yeah sure"
ex: "i need to talk to you alone"
friend: "ok" --in his mind he told me that he wasn't expecting that implying that she might make a move on him because she had been drinking, but never the less...the tone of his voice kinda told me that if that was her intention he had no thought of saying no hahaha
bla bla bla...
ok so what's my problem? obviously i have a pretty serious history with both of these people and i would like to know they aren't lying to me because i really could see them wanting to keep it from me because they think it'll really crush me. i want to go to my ex with it, but i don't want her to get mad at me or put the idea in her mind if it wasn't there already. i don't really know if going to my friend will accomplish much because although i know he'd probably be honest with me...he probably doesn't know what my ex is thinking...
so i dunno...i guess i'm just jealous and a little hurt by everything that's happened this past week, which given the circumstances is selfish, but i can't really help it...
i dunno...what should i do? |
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| ZzZ The Goddess |
My ex had a really cool friend, me and my ex broke up and never speak but i am still friends with his buddy and then i found out he worked 1 block away from me so we STILL go to lunch together every single day. We are just friends, even my current fiance met him and they get along great. When someone is just a cool and likable person it happens and sometimes you end up having stronger relationships with the friend than you did with the person you met them through. Its just a part of life and social interaction.
But if your ex is trying to get with your friend that isnt cool, or at least it isnt cool unless she has your permission, I have seen that happen before too and if the ex doesnt mind and wants the girl to be truly happy even if its not by him he may give it a chance, if he still has feelings or is bitter with the relationship it turns into a big mess and most times no one is friends afterwards. |
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| jonze234 |
| i'd go to your friend first. and just say, "is there anything between you and ? if there is could you be honest with me and let me know because being lied to about will suck more than if you just told me." its a really tough situation because im sure you dont want to be an and be like "stay away from my ex". |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
i dunno...what should i do? |
Have a threesome but keep your penor out of your friends arsehole that could make things a whole lot more complicated. :stongue: God I hate having to read a page of faggy sensitive nice guy whining. If you really wanted her you shouldn't have let her go but now that your friend is interested in her all of sudden you want her all to yourself. Gees unreal. Why would it matter whether you know if he's in her. Sounds like you're not mature enough to handle it. So for your own sanity I'd preoccupy yourself with something else so you don't have time thinking about your best friend bang the out of your ex. :haha: I hope that your best friend isn't still your roomate. Now that would be something else having to listen to him doing the sweet and nasty to her all night. :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: Ever wonder if god is getting back at you for sleeping with your best friend's little sistar? :stongue: |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by ZzZ The Goddess
My ex had a really cool friend, me and my ex broke up and never speak but i am still friends with his buddy and then i found out he worked 1 block away from me so we STILL go to lunch together every single day. We are just friends, even my current fiance met him and they get along great. When someone is just a cool and likable person it happens and sometimes you end up having stronger relationships with the friend than you did with the person you met them through. Its just a part of life and social interaction. |
see i can't tell if this is the situation and i'm just jealous or the other one. he is a very cool likeable guy and he has been spending more time with my ex than i have so i guess in a way i'm jealous that i know longer have a close relationship with her like i used to.
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But if your ex is trying to get with your friend that isnt cool, or at least it isnt cool unless she has your permission, I have seen that happen before too and if the ex doesnt mind and wants the girl to be truly happy even if its not by him he may give it a chance, if he still has feelings or is bitter with the relationship it turns into a big mess and most times no one is friends afterwards. |
see and here is the other thing. both of them have seen how much the last relationship meant to me and so they both know how hard it was for me to go through and that's why i would think if something was up that they might try and hide it.
i really dunno...i'm seeing both of them tonight, but it won't be appropriate to bring it up, so i think i'm just going to try and talk to my ex this weekend...hopefully she won't get mad at me... |
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| NiteMer |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
so i dunno...i guess i'm just jealous and a little hurt by everything that's happened this past week, which given the circumstances is selfish, but i can't really help it...
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You have it pinpointed right here. I understand, but you have moved on and you can't have your cake and eat it too. Whether or not they are seeing each other romantically should not offend you at this point. You are seeing someone new, right? No reason you can't maintain a good friendship with her, even if she does start seeing someone new. At least you know he's a good guy and won't screw her over intentionally. You could ask one of them, but you need to do it in a non-confrontational manner. Try not to be aggressive about it and act laid back. You'll be better off that way.
Note - Poker tonight? |
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| Aiwendil |
| What's the ing problem? There is nothing wrong with them, but I suggest you might want to see a doctor for insecurity issues or something. |
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| Floorfiller |
yeah i know...i mean i guess the way i see it...if anyone is good enough for her it'd be someone like him. i just would want to know if its going on...i'd just feel better about it knowing because then i wouldn't have to sit and think about it.
you're right i've moved on and i'm happy about that....i just want to know that my friends can be honest with me about that IF that is even the case...i dunno...
i think i'm gonna just straight up ask my friend right now hahaha...and he knows me...he knows i'm not confrontational so i don't think he'll take it the wrong way...
i dunno about poker yet :p |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by NiteMer
Note - Poker tonight? |
From the sound of it his friend is Poking her tonight :disbelief |
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| Ang ' ela_ie |
Dear Jason,
First and foremost, Ex is dumb for trying to get with Roomate of the boy she dated for... forever. Thats a lame move on her part, I was under the impression that she was a little more with it than that.
Anyways, theres probably not a lot you CAN do about this, because if they want to get together they will. Its not that they want to specifically hurt your feelings or make you feel uncomfortable, but theyre going to do it because thats what people do in these situations. We've all been there before.
Do you see potential for it to last?
Hugs and kisses,
Ang
PS. Jason vs. Roomate? Id choose Jason. ;) |
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| Omega_Blue |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
yeah i know...i mean i guess the way i see it...if anyone is good enough for her it'd be someone like him. |
meh, seems like you're trying to rationalize the situation. just realize that no matter what happens you're gonna be pissed about it and try to move on. |
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| NiteMer |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
yeah i know...i mean i guess the way i see it...if anyone is good enough for her it'd be someone like him. i just would want to know if its going on...i'd just feel better about it knowing because then i wouldn't have to sit and think about it.
you're right i've moved on and i'm happy about that....i just want to know that my friends can be honest with me about that IF that is even the case...i dunno...
i think i'm gonna just straight up ask my friend right now hahaha...and he knows me...he knows i'm not confrontational so i don't think he'll take it the wrong way...
i dunno about poker yet :p |
I hear that. Thinking about something too much is not fun. Just keep in mind that you guys have been over for a while and that it's only fair for her to look on as you have. Ask your buddy, honestly, and I'm sure you'll be fine. Let me know about poker too. |
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