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The Banana - The Atheist's Nightmare
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| occrider |
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The banana-the atheist's nightmare.
Note that the banana:
1. Is shaped for human hand
2. Has non-slip surface
3. Has outward indicators of inward content:
Green-too early,
Yellow-just right,
Black-too late.
4. Has a tab for removal of wrapper
5. Is perforated on wrapper
6. Bio-degradable wrapper
7. Is shaped for human mouth
8. Has a point at top for ease of entry
9. Is pleasing to taste buds
10. Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy
To say that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.
http://www.ecclesia.org/truth/atheist.html
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Well I'm convinced :). My only question is was God just ing with us when he designed the pineapple? Or is that the devil's work? |
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| Sunsnail |
Bananas are my favorite fruit. I had one today actually :tongue2
Pineapples aren't the worst.... think about coconuts |
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| tathi |
11. a supplement for serotonin after a big night out
:p |
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| Lepanto |
funniest in PDD ev0r
The sad thing is that alot of people will use this argument in all seriousness. |
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| Psy-T |
| quote: | | 9. Is pleasing to taste buds |
ha! not to mine! what do the creationists have to say about that?! :p |
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| St_Andrew |
| quote: | Originally posted by Psy-T
ha! not to mine! what do the creationists have to say about that?! :p |
The devil has taken you already? :toothless |
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| NebulousQ |
lol @ this thread,
great find occrider |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
i also like the fact that a lovely religious group are so very interested in the right to bare arms.
i particularly like this bit:
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As far as the school shootings are concerned, the killers could count on one thing: their victims, and the teachers and staff, would be unarmed. The killers knew they would face no resistance -- because of \"gun control\" laws. What should be obvious is that if peaceful citizens are armed, then criminals will be deterred. Schools attract killers because the government has posted a big legal notice that says in effect: \"Attention: this is a gun-free zone. We guarantee that all adults and children in this school are unarmed.\" Attempts to outlaw guns from schools, no matter how well meaning, have backfired. Instead of making schools safe for children, we have made them safe for those intent on harming our children. |
i totally agree. what we should really have is 15yo's toting M60s so everyone in class is safer.
goddamn fvcking nutjobs :rolleyes: |
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| Fir3start3r |
Not to mention:
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Anaemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anaemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect food for helping to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at an English school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fibre, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin – known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body so if you suffer from heart-burn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods – such as bananas – every two hours to keep levels steady.
PMS: Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, trypotophan.
Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking, as the high levels of Vitamin C, A1, B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalise the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water-balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in ‘The New England Journal of Medicine’ eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronic ulcer cases. It also neutralises over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that, if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
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>>Source<<
Warts?? :wtf: |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| quote: | Originally posted by Fir3start3r
Warts?? :wtf: |
:stongue: :stongue:
i wonder how many poor mormon (there was a whole section on polygamy so i make the assumption) boys are out there with bananas strapped to their banana ;) |
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| NeoPhono |
From elsewhere on the same site:
| quote: | # he Bible is full of errors. How can you believe it is inspired?
Answer: The overwhelming majority of so-called errors in the Bible have been demonstrated to be simply errors of judgment or lack of understanding on the part of those who make the complaint. They are not errors at all but simply truth misunderstood. The inspired Bible will always tell you the truth, will never mislead you, can be fully trusted, is reliable and authoritative, not only in spiritual matters, but also in other matters it addresses, including history and science.
People are always digging up some supposed flaw in Scripture, which is not surprising. Copyists may have miscopied in some cases, but no such supposed happening or any other alleged error affects the truth of God's Word. Doctrine is built not upon one Bible passage but upon the total of God's comments on any subject. We are unaware of any alleged error of any kind that would affect the truthfulness of the content of Scripture. Some things in Scripture are yet difficult to reconcile. There will always be room for doubt to those who prefer to doubt. We believe that even alleged errors, not yet fully explained, will (as in the past) soon be exposed as false alarms. The harder people work to undermine the Bible, the brighter its light shines. |
That's scary as hell...pardon the pun. |
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