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60 reasons why Chuck Norris is a badass! (pg. 2)
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| Sand Leaper |
| quote: | | 49. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never. |
:stongue: |
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| RapidFire |
heres some more for all you chuck-a-holics;
61. Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found em!"
62. One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.
63. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the blue ringed octopus of Eastern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
64. Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's father.
65. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the actual spelling of it.
66. Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
67. Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.
68. In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks
69. Chuck Norris was once asked to recommend a club to which he replied 'I am a club' and everyone partied on him... Until he roundhouse kicked them all because someone spilt his beer.
70. Chuck Norris wears a rattlesnake as a live condom
71. Chuck Norris lives by one rule: No Asian Chicks
72. The role of Alf, from the hit 80s TV show of the same name was actually played by Chuck Norris' penis.
73. Mr. Clean is really Chuck Norris with a shaved head and an ear-ring.
74. Chuck Norris also played the Black guy in Walker Texas Ranger.
75. Chuck Norris invented american flag pants
76. Every night at 8:00, a truck pulls up to Chuck Norris' house. In the truck are a bunch of orphans. For the next half-hour, Chuck Norris practices roundhouse kicks on the orphans while "It's a Hard Knock Life" plays in the background. At the end of the session, the orphans say "Thank you, Mr. Norris." in perfect unison, then march into the truck in silence.
77. Chuck Norris killed the Pope with a roundhouse kick to the chest after an argument over who had a better beard, Jesus or Norris.
78. Chuck Norris told Kid Rock that God doesn't know why, but Chuck Norris does. |
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| mentalbarter |
| quote: | Originally posted by RapidFire
65. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the actual spelling of it.
66. Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
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:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
| quote: | Originally posted by RapidFire
76. Every night at 8:00, a truck pulls up to Chuck Norris' house. In the truck are a bunch of orphans. For the next half-hour, Chuck Norris practices roundhouse kicks on the orphans while "It's a Hard Knock Life" plays in the background. At the end of the session, the orphans say "Thank you, Mr. Norris." in perfect unison, then march into the truck in silence. |
:disbelief |
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| Floorfiller |
| Chuck Norris has never lost a thumb war. |
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| dinoXpress |
| Chuck Norris broke the search. |
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| plastikE |
btw: you don't read the biography, it reads YOU. |
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| DJ Lucas |
| quote: | Originally posted by RapidFire
72. The role of Alf, from the hit 80s TV show of the same name was actually played by Chuck Norris' penis.
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bwahahahha!! |
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| Swamper |
Some of those are just too much.
I remember years ago when Texas Ranger was on, it always killed me how people would just stand there waiting to get kicked. :stongue: |
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| DjDeComp |
| i love the chuck |
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| RapidFire |
| quote: | Originally posted by Swamper
I remember years ago when Texas Ranger was on, it always killed me how people would just stand there waiting to get kicked. :stongue: |
haha yeah. conan o'brien had a real good way of bringing out stupid stuff like that off the show with his walker texas ranger lever.... r.i.p:( |
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| paranoik0 |
| absolutely ing gold :haha: |
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