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Guess Who Was In My Store Today. (pg. 4)
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| eye_03 |
| quote: | | Originally posted by kadomony Plus, he signed the credit card pad with just a line. |
chuck norris doesnt just sign, he slashes!! |
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| emc^2 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jackson
Was this before or after he Shat on Cartman? |
...not having watched "Passion of the Jew" I can't comment. :D |
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| LeopoldStotch |
| quote: | Originally posted by nchs09
did he play with himself while buying them? |
pssh .. he probably sang 'livin' on a prayer' while buying the diapers . :rolleyes: :D :o |
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| kadomony |
| he came in again today. asked me about cdrs and laser printers. i probably shouldve been nicer to him but i was apprehensive. |
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| dj_bas |
| quote: | Originally posted by kadomony
he came in again today. asked me about cdrs and laser printers. i probably shouldve been nicer to him but i was apprehensive. |
Now you're just lying, Chuck Norris would not need to go BACK to an Office Depot.
I ran into Dylan Walsh (Sean MacNamara from Nip/Tuck) at lunch on Sunday :D |
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| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by kadomony
he came in again today. asked me about cdrs and laser printers. i probably shouldve been nicer to him but i was apprehensive. |
You're just lucky you weren't the victim of a fatal roundhouse. |
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| stren |
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| Zewad |
did he buy a dell scanner!???
:wtf: |
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| medinaM5 |
| that hand is surprisingly large |
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| stren |
| quote: | Originally posted by medinaM5
that hand is surprisingly large |
you know what they say about big hands :wtf: |
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| Emil |
| quote: | Originally posted by Zewad
did he buy a dell scanner!???
:wtf: |
You can't buy Dell scanners at Office Depot. |
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| Inconspicuous |
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. |
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