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Underage Clubbing
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| Spad |
Just reading through the other threads, thought I'd start up this little thread coz I noticed something not quite right. Namely, bouncers may big big and bald, but unfortunatly
a) They didn't come down in the last shower
b) They've seen every trick in the book, it's their job
And a lot of the methods people assume will work will actually just make things worse. The rules aren't "we will let you in if you have something with a photo of you on it as long as it has a signature and looks kind of like it's sort of official in some way. They couldn't give a if XXX Nites Video Club is fine with lending you 18+ certificate films. You could turn up and be 21 years old with a valid passport, drivers license, letter from the queen and video reference from the midwife that assisted your birth back in 1981 but if they don't want to let you in, they wont. If they wanted you in the club they wouldn't have stopped you in the first place, so they only way you're going to get in now is by producing some proper ID or some ing smooth talking. The trick is to make them not care; so you don't get questioned at all; so they look at you and think "he looks a but young, but sod it he seems sound" and move on to the bloke with the ripped jeans adn the rockports standing behind you.
So, how about us lot that have fond memories of getting past bouncers share the wealth a bit? :) This aint set in stone or anything, just my opinions. I reckon everybody should add to it so we can build up a little compendium for the more junior UKTA's :)
Part One - In the queue
Don't underestimate the queue. While you're in the queue, even while you're walking up the road to get to the queue, they're probably sizing you up and deciding whether or not to challenge you when you get to the front. Once you're inside the club itself then you're more or less home dry. It's rare anybody's going to come up to you inside a club and challenge you unless you're acting like a twat or causing trouble.
If there's a lot of you then split up. If you look a bit iffy and you're by yourself then you've got a good chance of getting in anyway. If you look a bit iffy and you're with 6 other guys who look a bit iffy then you're ed. If you know people who're of age then go in with them. Again it doesn't mean they're going to automatically tihnk you're the same age as them, but if you're with older people then you're assumed to be more mature. Mixed groups are better too, a group of 3 girls and 3 guys will have less trouble than a group of 6 guys.
All in all, it's about the vibe you give out. You've been to this club and others like it a million times before. You don't really give a about the bouncers, because you know that even if they do ask you for ID you've got your passport in your back pocket. You just want to get inside coz it's ing freezing. Give them a nod on the way in and that's all. No need to look at the floor as you walk past, or suddenly get into a deep conversation with your mate (or worse, the bouncer).
Part Two - If You Get Asked
This is the tough bit. A lot depends on this, because in the space of 10 seconds your fate will be decided.
Don't
* Slap your head and exclaim loudly OH ! I KNEW I FORGOT SOMETHING. Rifling around in your pockets/wallet for 5 minutes first doesn't help either.
* Insult their intelligence. Saying "yes of course" then proceeding to open up your wallet and take out an A4 sheet with a black and white photocopy of your dads birth certificate from 1949 isn't big. Or Clever.
* Make lame excuses. Or any excuses at all really. Stuff like "my passport's in the post, I only turned 18 yesterday, I forgot it, my dog ate it, aliens abducted it" were tried by Noah's little brother to get into the Ark disco. And they didn't work then either.
* A lot of clubs have cameras by the doors so waving 20 quid in front of their faces probably wont help much either.
Do
* Just say no, you don't have any
* Apologise and promise to bring some next time
* Show respect. Make sure he/she knows that you know they don't have to let you in if they don't want to, and that you learned your lesson, they've made their point, you wont be so cheeky next time, you'll bring some.
If you are refused point blank, it's sometimes worth just walking round the block and trying again an hour later (they rotate so you might get a different set, or they might find your perseverence cute). An extension of the golden rule, once you're in, you're in, you wont get the bloke who turned you away earlier coming up and saying "I thought I told you to off".
Part Three - In The Club
Not much to say here, when you're in you're usually OK. Just act mature and play it cool. They don't want a load of under-age dudes and dudettes getting pissed/ed and drawing attention to themselves in their club. And they don't want the promoter/manager/head bouncer coming up to them at the end of the night and giving them a bollocking for letting you in either.
Part Four - On The Way Out
Say goodnight/cheers. After a month or so you'll get your face known and you wont get any hassle any more. Saying " I can't believe you twats let us in" isn't advised.
THE END
Damn that was only supposed to be a few lines!!!!!!!! There's nearly a websites worth there :) |
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| gibbo17 |
| jesus all good tips but you've got way to much time on your hands |
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| magicsushi |
some nice tips there Spad
unfortunately, as I found out the other night, if they suddenly decide a club has a dress code and you're wearing trainers then you're ed:D |
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| [N]ûk|êû[Z] |
| well jeezuz, mary and joseph!! looks like sumone didnt have enuff money to go out on sudent nite tonight! lol |
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| Dj O'Callaghan |
Some Underage clubbers appear to be above their actually age mentally and the way they act, clubbers usually around 17 seem to handle themselves well in clubs and don't stand out, I remember I didn't and most of the people I knew when they were 17 didn't, but most people who 16 and below need advice, no offense and I'm just offering some wisdom because you do stand out, not only in the way you look but mainly how you act in the enviourment.
As Spad said hanging out with older people works. But my main bit of advice is be confident and stand up properly if a bouncer eyeballs you eyeball him or her back, looking away is a weakness, and a sign that shows your hiding something, I can remember seeing Seb Fontaine a long while ago and getting into the club whilst having a school 6th party in the pub next door and seeing people who looked older then me getting turned away because of the reasons they acted stupid in the que, I just looked at the bouncers said evening lads and strolled straight in, because I was confident, its as easy as that was my main test because I remember it used to be mission immposible for people to get into that club lol.
Violence involving doormen is another big aspect especially in my town like trouble in brilliant clubs dosen't happen much, but still theres scenes everywhere. The doormen we're I'm from are like gangsters in simple terms theres two companies one of them the big one employs over 350 doormen and in a town of arouns 250,000 people they own most door contracts every single pub, bar, and club in the town centre except for one club is run by them, and they own the doors in the town centre, so any scene that kicks off they can call for backup and another fresh set of bouncers can be there in 20 seconds flat from a pub, bar, or club 50 metres away or across the road. Most of the bouncers aren't just people who look like they can sort out people believe me they ing can, most of them are proffesional fighters in all sort of martial arts, or blokes that have been know to knock out a few people in there time.
As Spad says keep on the right side of them because believe me if you get in trouble with one of them one week and head to another place the next day theres some chances they might of been rotated, also they do hold grudges theres one massive Welsh bouncer in a club in my town who ing hates me and my mates and its a feud thats been going on for years, sometimes he can be alright with us, other times he's had friends of mine chucked out, and he's even threatened to have a scrap with me and a bunch of mates on one occasion when some mates of mine decided to organise an after A-levels party in a club cos one of my mates brothers best friend is a promotor so we had access and there was loads of people in there probably up to 1000 I knew no ends of people, Me, my best mate and few of the more rowdy people we know picked on some girl on the floor just gobbed across at her because she's a slag and we don't like her, anyways I went to a cash point and came back anyway I got back in and as soon as entered one of the rooms in the club I could here a smashing sound and saw 4 of my mates grab my mate Jay and exit through a fire escape, my friends shirts were stained blood red, my best mate Seb comes over to me and says some bastards bottled Jay, theres a load of scenes going on and I have a short temper anyway and I'd had too many to drink and I end up going over to this bouncer and start saying what I'm going to do when I see this dude who bottled my mate, I say I'm going to kill him, murder his family and all this stuff with loads swearing and the doorman starts growling back at me and replies don't talk to me like I'll ing have you, then it nearly breaks out into a scrap between a mate of mine and another doorman. Then my mates with the boucers go looking for this dude who happens to be this girls boyfriend and I buy two bottles of beer and when a friend asks me what you got two bottles for I reply I'm going to bottle the twice, hahaha but thats what you get if you go asking for trouble and trust me it happens easy when you've had one too many, and when you take drugs make sure you don't make it too obvious your overly ed and monged.
This door companies boss got murdered aswell, and the day after it was like a warzone in the town centre and that day was a saturday, and believe me a lot of people got sorted out by them it was practicially 0 tolerance to anything they can be ok or they can be wankers and they play of imtimidating some people sometimes.
I could write a book on how many times me and my mates had trouble with bouncers, I've got about 100 stories give me shout if you want to hear them but there all horrible and too long, and believe me if your young try and keep a good postive friendship with them, because they even back up people who regualry go to places they work, so if someone trys to have a go at you they'll pick you over the people starting on you and chuck them out I've seen it happen.
I've never really been turned down from a door on a 18 night, apart from when I was 17 and tried to attend an over 21 night and I was going to be let it but they sussed out on of my mates and told us all to be on our way.
this is like the oracle of time lol. |
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| Kia Kaha |
Good advice Spad.
I worked the door at some one off big clubbing events down under when I lived there, and I've also worked part time in off licences for the last 3 or 4 years, the one I'm in at the moment has an 'under age disco' thing just around the corner every Friday night and I have seen EVERY trick in the book that people use to try and make themselves look older. (In case you're wondering I'm not THAT old myself but yeah ... anyways :rolleyes: )
I can tell you that what Spad says is pretty sound ... particularly the bit about the queue. Personally I've made up my mind whether to spring someone for ID long before they actually make it to the door. Basically it's a 'sixth sense' thing - just that slightly nervous air the young 'uns always project, and if I catch the punter glancing at me out of the corner of their eye just while they're approaching the front of the queue, then that's it you're ed matey! As far as club bouncers are concerned, you should try to act like you totally don't give a and you hardly even noticed they were there until you got to the front of the queue. Especially if you're a bloke and you're tallish and nearly 18 anyway, you've got a better than average chance.
Things NOT to do, cos they're a dead giveaway ...
- Try to grow a beard or stubble to make yourself look older - you look like a total in f00l anyway and it screams 'under age' to any seasoned bouncer.
- Drink alcopops while you're in the queue, and whip them back under your coat when the police wagon cruises past on the street ... you ARE being watched.
- Wear hugely excessive layers of cheap, sparkley makeup if you're a girl.
- Try to hide your face / turn away / stare at your shoes while you're approaching the bouncers.
- Hang out with other under-agers ... your best ticket into a club is to make friends with a bunch of 25 year olds and go in as part of their group. Be honest with yourself, if you've got a pal that's only 15 or 16 and looks it, and you don't think they're going to cut the mustard, then LOSE them because if there's even one obviously under age one then you'll all get ID'ed. If there's a couple of obviously older ones and one slightly iffy looking one then it's benefit of the doubt ... if the ratio is reversed then you can all piss off as far as I'm concerned.
I also watch around up and down the street to see who's standing in doorways or sitting in the Mcdonalds across the road glancing at us, a lot of the kids wait until they can see there's already a queue before they come in and hope that we'll be too busy to care. Because bouncers know this I would suggest you try reverse psychology here, go while it's quiet and there's NO queue (if you can), dress smart, be polite, don't mumble or stare at your shoes, and you're away laughing.
One last thing, if you're nicked then you're nicked - don't act like an , argue pointlessly, or for chrissakes don't say at the top of your lungs *pointing at another bouncer in the background* 'Well HE let me in LAST month' ... you have just imprinted your young face on the WANKER hall of fame in the mind of everyone present, and you can expect a 1000% greater chance of getting told to off next time. In SAS terms, you want to act like the 'grey man' ... do what a 'grown up' would do - just say thanks, you understand they're just doing their job, you're very embarrassed about the whole thing, and you'll bring some proper ID next time. Even if you don't, chances are they've forgotten about you 10 minutes later and there's no long term harm done to your prospects of trying again next month.
Good luck and may the force be with you :D |
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| Volksjoolz |
id say one of the best ways to get into a nightclub is to go in with a girl!
whenever i used to out on the town i always got refused entry wen i was in lad groups..so i used me noggle and instead tryed talkin to girls in the queue, therefore misconceiving the bouncer into thinkin i was with them..9 times out of 10 it worked!
also try not to try too hard with your clothes that you wear!..in my view the more casual you dress..the more the bouncer thinks that your not trying to look older!
if you really are stil having trouble..why not try a visit to the gym..it'l soon make you look more stocky..and therefore older looking!..hety it worked for me..at the time!!:p |
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| tu_face |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dj O'Callaghan
and when you take drugs make sure you don't make it too obvious your overly ed and monged.
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lol.. u never been to gatecrasher have you? i think they prefer u to do drugs than drink..z makes the place a lot nicer :) i in hate it when the place is full of beer-boys...
and everything that spad sed is true.. although ive never really been busted for ID except for ty little clubs in town were if ur not dressed for a weddin they wont let u in...
it really has got a lot to do with the ppl ur with.. e.g. xmas special.. coup... i didnt see it cuz we went in earlier on regs.. but apparently they asked the whole group in front of them for ID and they got turned away... coup who dont look nearly 18 (no offense m8 but u dont :)) walks straight in with spad, mary, ste etc etc |
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| flystyler |
| Thanx for this info, it is useful info, thanx |
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| dj_mdma |
Heh, thats a good read! Not that it really matters, cuz I'm SOOOOOOOOOO nearly 18 and look it generally anyway. Its funny cos when I started work at Tesco's last year I was always getting invited to the pub after work and I always had two things to say: I've have no money, I'm not old enough!
But I've got this nice 100%legal ID, from STA travel! But I won't need it in March! |
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| DuMonde TrAnCeR |
a-men to the beer boys thing, i hate the scummy bastards!
thing is with me im actually old enough now, but still dont have a proper d which kinda adjitates me but hasnt been a problem for a year now. then again i just dont shave for a week or two and do those dodgy beard lines i had at xmas special! :stongue:
and i must go, theres TT's to be consumed and sugar shack to be raided! have fun 2moro u crasher bastards! :whip: :stongue: |
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| Project T |
| Thanx Spad, will come in useful come March 9. |
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