|
Children Psychology
|
View this Thread in Original format
| sKyBreAK |
Hey there fellow TA's
I just wanted to know if you guys could give me an opinon to this situation I have, so just hear me out...
So I live with my aunt, who has two kids. They're 8 and 15, both boys.
I moved in to live with them like 2 years ago coz I came to Canada to study... Everything seemed alright then...
At the beginning of this year everything seemed getting weird. My younger cousin started having issues... I'll give you examples...
Say me and the 8 yr old are playing Dreamcast... If he hears his brother coming downstairs he immediately jumps to the other end of the couch. At first I thought this was just some stupid random thing kids do but I started to realise it more and more. The 8 yr old even tells me to "Sit on the other side". You know what my conclusion is? I think my lil kid cousin thinks that his brother is jealous that I'm spending time with the guy or something. I have no idea what my older cousin is telling him... (They sleep in the same room)
I'm getting pissed off at this... I was just downstairs and wanted to check what the kid was doing... He was playing Dreamcast and was setting up a 2 player game... Then he's like "You can't play coz I'm playing with my brother". Hell I didn't even hint I was gonna play with him and I burnt that game damnit.
The little kid also has a tendancy to follow whatever his brother does... IE. Music wise (Hip-Hop wannabe's)... The stuff he eats... The stuff he says... Plus my aunt and uncle... Personally I don't think their doing such a good job as a parent... You know the 8 yr old actually swears and stuff ALOT... At 8 he's ing saying like "you ing jackass" " face mother ******" etc etc. And sometimes he's repulsive enough to say it to his parents, not to mention to me. He's not afraid of shouting back at his superiors. What pisses me off the most is that I'm just trying to help and he's dissing the outta me. If he weren't my cousin I would have smacked the guy silly...
Can anyone offer any tips for me to handle this situation? Coz I think that if this isn't resovled my kid cousin is gonna have some serious issues when he grows up... Way too over dependent on my older cousin... It's just too much...
Welp thats all I gotta say... I'm intrested to see what everyone else has to say...
Anyhow, lates... |
|
|
| dj_mdma |
| About the kid following whatever the older brother does, its about sibling admiration. They will c that whatever someone older than them is doing is cool and copy/mimc it. This might be the case with the swearing too. |
|
|
| SYNthSRI |
beat the out of the older brother
tie him up to a chair -- gag him -- make him listen to Yanni
er
joke!
Personally, I would say, since his parents are content with how he is...theres really nothing you can do. Seems to me that the parents need to get their acts together -- you might want to come off as a concerned relative and "advice" his parents into doing the "right" thing |
|
|
| torontotrance |
| i don't think that big thing is all correct.....see my brother never listened to the stuff i listened to........shame tho. He listens to metal and punk and i listen to trance. So lame........imo.....maybe i'm an exception to the rule. |
|
|
| Piet |
| i don't think it is a rule, but it happens often. A younger sibling looks up to and admires an older sibling. Maybe the younger brother feels a little guilty when he starts to spend time with you when he used to only spend time with and look up to his brother. |
|
|
| torontotrance |
| Look up to me..........my brother does not.........maybe i'm the exception to the rule. |
|
|
| DJ RozzeR |
| times change i know 6 year old who can email ffs , |
|
|
| Lilith |
People are a lot like dogs, after all we spent the last 40 or 50,000 years around the campfire together and tend to pick up on each others habits :)
Whats happening here is that you are supplanting him in the pecking order. Maybe he isnt top dog at home, more likely he's at the bottom and wondering how to get off it, the first step along the way is to tread on you for a way up.
So, you could do this one of two ways.
Slap the brat senseless or otherwise threaten verbally him in such a manner that he wont dare cross you.- This is the Lili way of dealing with agressive males, dont mess with the Alpha female... :D
Ignore and avoid him as much as possible, better still find a way of burying him a deep grave out in the forest as he sounds like a right brat... oh, thats not much different than the first one.
Ok,
Be a man, stand up for yourself, he's only 8 years old and I dont care how politically correct you are you need to start standing up for yourself. :)
Good luck, use lime, they decompose better. |
|
|
| biznology |
| well im most definitely NOT a child psychologist, but ill take a whack at this. the sibling admiration thing is prolly true. most siblings fight and have different tastes and tendencies, in general. the thing that was interesting about what you said was they share the same room. i have 2 friends that are brothers and shared rooms for awhile. now they live together in there own apartment, have the same tastes generally, and both swear like mother******s to their parents. the younger one doesnt pre-obey the older one tho, thats kinda strange. you just seem like you are having a bit of culture shock in relation to your relatives. i get this when i go to almost anyones house, but it is especially severe with my friends i spoke of earlier. i doubt there is much you can do, i think this is programmed in really early...as for what lili said, if its your stuff, take it away, tell them to off...hehe late/ |
|
|
| Dj O'Callaghan |
Whoa an 8 Year old giving you hassle like I know its not your house mate and their not your kids, I suggest you batter the little ******s sod being nice, and if they grass you beat the little bags up, you souldn't care if their your cousins that saying bloods thicker then water is bull, I personally can't be tossed with being a family person yes I like my family but I prefer the company of my friends. As people say verbally threaten them call him a little faced ing and say your going to kill him and ing murder everyone on his friends be a nasty mother ******. Intimidation rules remember that dude your bigger and smarter don't let them take the piss, make them shake and tremble with fear, if they tell on to anyone you turn to aunt and uncle when they confront you about it, 'sorry I don't know what he's on about' and say in a polite voice to the kid in front of them 'I don't know whats wrong with you but why create lies about me', if the verbal dosen't work square up to them look down at them and actually sort of go to beat them if they flinch it shows that they fear you, if they don't resort to violence my friend, I suggest arm locks with their hands behing their backs like what the pigs do to restrain someone, be careful you don't break an arm though, but key with this is it leaves no bruising or anything.
Apart from my violence and intimidation this might work bring around a group of friends and if you can even better include a hottish girl you know, and because their kids they'll be like 'whoa' :eek: at the girl, or if you've got mates there they'll think 'this lot are quite cool' and what you do is take into fact an inormalities with them like big ears, or stupid things they'd done when they were younger and what you do is rip the piss out of them humiliate them fill your friends in that you'll do it so they'll laugh maybe they might find some of the stuff hilarious, pick at every single one of the kids weaknesses and totally rip it out of them make them feel so small its untrue make them feel like their a worthless piece of , and make sure your all roar with laughter and point at them ;) , my dad is the most piss taking bastard there is out there, he can make people feel humilated and he's always got comebacks and thats how he used to keep me and my sister in check when were gobby, when we're teens and say we played up one week the whole week with attitude and being disrespectful to our parents, my dad would wait for a group of friends to be round the house, or say if there was a B-que some of their friends and he would do that and trust me it works.
Also I hope I do not seem like a nasty bastard but I hate little cocky kids, and no offence to you Skywarp you seem like a nice person, but your Aunt and Uncle sound soft I can't stick soft parents when we were little and we played up we got smacked and I mean really hard when we were around 9 we got the piss taken out of us, parents need to keep one step ahead of their kids, or they'll turn out insecure and ed in the head, or either that they'll take a serious beating of someone because they've grown up and been allowed to get away from things |
|
|
| PunkA$$ |
i think the kid's new exeriences are limited to what the older brother teaches him. if it's a behavior you don't like, ignore it. he just may be looking for attention. just be mature 'bout. you are older than him right? :conf: walk away from him. as much as you might want back hand the little e, it's not your place to discipline him. train him that you'll be friends on your terms. chill w/ him when he's acting good. if he's being a punk, walk away... remember, you can walk away anytime you want, he's not your responsibilty, you have this freedom. hopefully eventually he'll smartin up.
maybe his older brother is getting jealous that he was spending more time w/ u. try to include the older brother as well. and i think most importantly treat him w/ respect even though he may not show it to u. they're people too (or as denis leary would say, drunken midgets) |
|
|
| Tranex02 |
I HATE ABNOXIOUS KIDS!!!!!!!
I CAN'T STAND THEM....therefore....i can sympathize....:D .
I ALSO HATE PARENTS WHO CAN'T TEACH THIER KIDS A FEW RULEZ IN MANNER!!!:whip:
But then again....this whole world is messed up in many ways...
So...i think you should try and avoid/ignore him as much as possible...make him feel that you are trying to get away from him..
make him feel that you are upset at him....and hopefully...then...he would want to be around you more...Start doing more fun things to tease him, and not letting him join in...he might be nicer then...
But as for the curse words...make him feel stupid when he uses such words...and tell him that he sounds like a little baby when he says that.....hopefully...that might trigger something in this mind that will push him towards change...
anyway.....sometimes...you just gotta put up with it..!!:p
hope this helps... |
|
|
|
|
