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Is an Omission a betrayal? (pg. 3)
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| Nrg2Nfinit |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
The only reason omission is painful is when you are omitting something hurtful you did.
For instance. The other day my GF wanted to stop by on her way out. for 15 minutes and then she was gone. Hadnt seen eachother in a day or so and it would have been nice.
I say Im going to be gone and it wont work.
I tell my other friend im going to gym for a bit and ill talk to him later.
She asks him where I am
he says the gym
her thought "he chose the gym over me...wow."
what actually happened is ... |
I chose the gym over her..
lol |
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| SomewhatDamaged |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yan
If it has no real relevance to anything relating to your significant other than it's not lying. |
Its not a situational thing. If you do the same thing to your friends its still lying. |
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| SomewhatDamaged |
| quote: | Originally posted by kadomony
i think she means like not saying anything at all.
like having a secret and not saying it whatsoever. |
Like what? Can you give me an example? |
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| Nrg2Nfinit |
no but see he wanted to choose the gym over her.
its psychological.. hes trying to convince himself he didnt but he really did |
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| kadomony |
| quote: | Originally posted by SomewhatDamaged
Like what? Can you give me an example? |
say you have a fatal disease.
you never tell your lover that you have this disease.
is it the same as saying you dont have it if they ask?
my opinion is no. |
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| Yan |
| quote: | Originally posted by SomewhatDamaged
Its not a situational thing. If you do the same thing to your friends its still lying. |
Of COURSE it's a situational thing. If we were going around telling everyone EVERYTHING that we did, people would be boring as sh*t. |
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| ColorDancer |
The situation was that I was not told the whole story about a certain girl who was calling my now ex bf; the story unfolded in layers; she's a friend, then they almost hooked up, then they hooked up... etc so on and so on...always more developments; which came out of discussion from the fact that he couldn't be honest about talking to her. No big deal to talk to people; but lying, leaving things out, etc creates doubt; don't you think? but his logic was "I decide how much people should know" but I think that deliberately creating a misconception in someones head (and in his case; it's because a: he'd know it'd hurt me and b: he WAS trying to hide something) it is the same as telling a flat out lie; but I guess just smooths it over and makes him feel a little better by being able to say "I didn't lie" because he didn't say it...
I guess I'm one of those wierd people who thinks that if you feel you can't tell your sig. other something; then you should know right away you're doing something wrong... |
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| eckmek |
| quote: | [i][b]
I guess I'm one of those wierd people who thinks that if you feel you can't tell your sig. other something; then you should know right away you're doing something wrong... |
now i just KNOW you were trying to be all irnoic there at the end, but ima just go ahead and say...yeah...you're weird. |
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| Zombie0729 |
| no one read the damn article? |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by ColorDancer
Is not telling your significant other something the same as lying? |
It depends on whether or not you are intentionally omitting it. If you are it is the same. Now, whether or not that is an aggregous offence depends on motive and what it is you are omitting. |
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| D-res |
| quote: | Originally posted by BTG
you are a damn fool. |
well considering that exact thing killed my relationship im pretty sure i have enough experience to say so |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by ColorDancer
The situation was that I was not told the whole story about a certain girl who was calling my now ex bf; the story unfolded in layers; she's a friend, then they almost hooked up, then they hooked up... etc so on and so on...always more developments; which came out of discussion from the fact that he couldn't be honest about talking to her. No big deal to talk to people; but lying, leaving things out, etc creates doubt; don't you think? but his logic was "I decide how much people should know" but I think that deliberately creating a misconception in someones head (and in his case; it's because a: he'd know it'd hurt me and b: he WAS trying to hide something) it is the same as telling a flat out lie; but I guess just smooths it over and makes him feel a little better by being able to say "I didn't lie" because he didn't say it... |
I can understand him thinking that it is unimportant to tell you the entire history between them. What one needs to explore is whether he did this because he's trying to hook up with her now or simply because it wasn't necessary to tell you.
| quote: | | I guess I'm one of those wierd people who thinks that if you feel you can't tell your sig. other something; then you should know right away you're doing something wrong... |
Good rule of thumb. |
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