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Some Breaktime Facts
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| Streakfury |
You know the sort. They're the mass emails that everyone sends everyone about ten times over. Anyways, here's one with some stuff I hadn't actually seen before.
1. In the 1400s a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick any thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb".
2. Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only... Ladies Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
3. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
4. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
5. Men can read smaller print than women can but women can hear better.
6. Coca-Cola was originally green.
7. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
8. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
9. The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
10 Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs - Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
11. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
12. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
13. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
14. Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
15. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase: "Goodnight, sleep tight."
16. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
17. In English pubs, ale was traditionally ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them “Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's".
18. Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
19. Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
20. At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
:) :) :) |
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| Az |
| there was a guy from ukta that videoed himself licking his elbow |
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| chojin |
how could you not have read this before?
shame on you, i expected better. |
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| Streakfury |
| quote: | Originally posted by chojin
how could you not have read this before?
shame on you, i expected better. |
Hehe, OK, I had read some of it before, but other bits I hadn't. Some interesting facts though.
:p :p |
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| sakabatou |
11, 12, 16, AND 20 were cool.
And yes, I tried licking my elbow, not because I thought I could do it, but because I know that I got pretty close, and women have shorter arms than men, so they should be able to get even closer,and if a woman has a long tongue than I'm sure it could be done. |
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| chojin |
1. i can lick my left elbow, but not my right
2. here's my random mass email to share for the day:
The honeymoon is over...
Before she moves in, she wears teddies and suspenders, and you hold your farts in until she leaves the room; she's a gorgeous sex kitten and you tell her so; you're so sweet and adorable, and blowjobs follow ambient dinners like a fine port.
After she moves in, she farts in her grungy trackie bottoms while hypnotised by Coronation Street; you scratch your nuts unashamedly and bitch about work; oral sex is strictly quid pro quo and the new girl in the office really does have a great arse. When apathy replaces ardour, living together becomes cohabitation; and your gorgeous sex kitten becomes "her indoors."
Six key indicators of when the honeymoon period has finished.
1. Addictions
Before: You tell her you don't mind the occasional cold beer on a hot day with your mates, and that you've taken recreational drugs but those days are well and truly over. After: For the fifth night in a row you stagger in blotto, dig out your stash and mull up, pass out in the lounge in your underpants and expect her to accept that you're just being you.
2. Bodily functions
Before: You spray aerosol after a crap; piss on the side of the bowl to reduce noise and never, ever fart in her presence. After: You fart in front of her with impunity and obvious pride, commenting on the food intake for the day and speculating on the resultant odour. Despite repeated pleas to the contrary, you fart in bed and hold her head under the covers. You think it's hilarious.
3. Relations/friends
Before: Her aunty Jane is a real character with a lively personality and interesting views about politics, and her unemployed girlfriend Amanda is a genuine, charming supportive friend who you think is really nice. After: Aunty Jane is a loud-mouthed, pain-in-the-arse fascist with all the personality of a cold sore. Amanda is a manipulative loser, but you wouldn't mind slipping her one if the opportunity arose.
4. Sex
Before: Sex is a sweat-soaked, gymnastic romp that lasts for hours. You f*ck to impress, using all your tricks - your renowned tit grope, marathon oral sex sessions, and jackhammer-like screwing. F*cking four times a day is not uncommon. After: A wank is often preferable to the effort of sex. When you do have sex, you think about Amanda.
5. Attention span
Before: Her words are hypnotic; her wit is incisive; her anecdotes about her life pre-you are spellbinding. Over candlelight and coffee you listen with interest and politely chortle as she recounts stories of her childhood. After: Your eyes glaze over as soon as she mentions anything that doesn't involve you. What's more, you develop the uncanny ability to be able to concentrate on the TV and listen to her at the same time. The phrase, "Are you listening to me?" becomes an evening mantra.
6. The flip side
Before: She thinks you are witty, disciplined, a sexual athlete, attentive, loving, faithful and devoid of all crass male habits which have plagued her previous relationships... but she suspects that you're full of . After: She knows you're full of . |
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| Streakfury |
LIFE IN THE 1500'S
Times were hard in't North
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water.
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying . It's raining cats and dogs.
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat.
They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon.
They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; hus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a ...dead ringer..
And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring!!
:D |
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| chojin |
An old cowboy dressed to kill-with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs,and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He
replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences; I guess I am." After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, "I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of
women. When I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women."
A short while later she left, and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
:D |
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| Luke Terry |
| quote: | Originally posted by chojin
An old cowboy dressed to kill-with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs,and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He
replied, "Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences; I guess I am." After a short while he asked her what she was. She replied, "I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of
women. When I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women."
A short while later she left, and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."
:D |
:stongue: |
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| chojin |
bored at work so i browsed some of my ancient emails :) [2500+]
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss
America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and Why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest .
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other partof my body,"
--Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president." (we are????)
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.
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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !) and he wanted to be
President!!!!!!!!!
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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
does he know where he almost grew up???.....
--Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
clean air do we need?" (I say all we can get, I'll
take his clean air) --Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people." (Oh, well that's different, I
think)??????
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
(really???????)
--Bill Clinton, President
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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP (Gee but he's smart)
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when
they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?
Send it on to your brilliant friends.
I just did!! |
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| chojin |
et
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is
taking a stroll down his local high street.
As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye.
"Just Released -New LP -Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make -
available now"
Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.
"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make.
I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the
window."
"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like
to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for
you."
The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the
earphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the
world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I
recognised none of those."
"I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into
the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps
back into the booth and replaces the headphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head.
"I don't understand it", he says, "I am the world expert on European
wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any
of those!"
"I'm terribly sorry, Sir" says the young man, "perhaps if you'd like to
step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes."
Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they
make steps back into the booth.
Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated.
"I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make
and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP."
"I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant,
"I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."
:D |
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