|
Sketchy situation with longtime friends; Advice?
|
View this Thread in Original format
| DJ RJT |
Cor Summary: Two of my best friends, the kids I learned how to spin with, are really pissed off at me because I got booked for a bunch of club gigs over the summer and they got none. I got booked because I work hard, they didn't because they've really pissed off anyone who would care to book them. I'm tired of being blamed for that isn't my fault, and I'm also tired of being excluded and talked down to by some of my oldest friends. I want my old friends back, not the sketchy DJ kids they've become.
So one of my least favorite things about the "playing out" aspect of DJ'ing is the bull jealousy and backstabbing that comes along with it. Unfortunately, it seems to be a big part of the scene regardless of where you are or what city you're in, how big the scene is or who's a part of it, there are just some sketchy people out there who are DJ's and promoters.
So about 2 months ago I had agreed to play a gig up on June 3rd in Door County, a HUGE vacation destination in Wisconsin. One of my closest friends was putting on the show and I was going to make the trip as a favor to him for no cash (it's a long drive, gas is expensive) and on top of that, a short set (less than an hour). About a month after I agree to the gig, I get a call from my friend:
Him - "So, you're playing at Ravens (a local club I have my monthly residency at) on June 3rd, huh?"
Me - "What?"
Him - "It says you're booked on their website..."
No one from Ravens had contacted me about playing. The promoter, who is no longer in charge of their booking, had essentially posted a tenative schedule on the website without confirming artists. Needless to say, my friend were pissed off at my apparent disrespect, and yet at the end of the day, I'd had absolutely no idea that I was even booked.
So over the course of the next few days I come to find out that neither of my friends from back home, the two kids I learned to spin with, two of my oldest friends, had gotten booked at all for Ravens, or any Appleton clubs for the entire summer, and yet I was booked at least once a month, if not more,and was actually the DJ booked the most over the course of the Summer.
Long story short, the jealousy factor has reared it's head and these kids are being absolute dicks to me at this point. The reason neither of them are booked: One of them, we'll call him Jack, had utterly pissed off the owners of just about every club in Appleton. He would just not show up for gigs and then claim "Oh, I fell asleep." Accidents happen once, not repeatedly. And as far as the other one, we'll call him Justin, at the end of the day, he just didn't do the work. The two liked to be booked as a duo anyway, and unfortunately when you're working as a team, the reputation of one is often cast on the other.
The reason I did get booked as much as I did isn't because I'm some great DJ who's just the best Northeastern Wisconsin has to offer, actually far from. It's because I work hard. I pound the pavement for every show I play, I promote harder than some promters in large cities simply out of necessity. The scene is small here and needs every bit of help it can get. And I do this all for no money. Sure I get paid at the end of the night for a gig, but when it comes to promotion, it's often on my time and in some cases, paid for out of my pocket because it's what I love to do.
So now what it's come down to is that two of my oldest friends are pissed at me for something that wasn't even my fault, and beyond that, they want to start talking about where I play and how much I play. Both of them take the attitude of "Well, I wouldn't even play there anymore" but the fact of the matter is that BOTH of them would jump at the chance to play ANY gig. They've now created this kind of "us vs. you" mentality that really just crushes me because these kids are seriously two of my oldest friends.
I've tried bringing it up directly, but neither of them will even talk with me about it. Jack doesn't have the balls to talk about anything that's bothering him and deals with things passively, and Justin is as stubborn as I am and is dead set on believing that for some reason now it's me vs. them. I really don't know how to deal with this, and it REALLY bothers me.
I want my friends back - I don't need to know anymore sketchball DJ's. :( |
|
|
| Protege |
| Well, it seems they are obviously jealous. My advice: get a little high. And congrats on all the gigs. |
|
|
| placebo |
That's how it goes man. That's why I stick with house parties.
the club scene dude, it's too much drama. Even here in Pensacola, you can't get booked if you're a new DJ. NO ONE will give you a shot, I've handed out promo CDs, talked to other DJs, promoters, no one will. I know I'm not the greatest DJ ever, I know I'm not "the ", but to many people out here have that same mentality, and it just takes the fun out of doing it. People forget at the end of the day they are mixing someone else's music. Anyone can beatmatch, you're not a god because you can mix tracks. Yeah, they may be your oldest friends, but this shows how quickly people can change when you get ahead. |
|
|
| idoru |
That kind of stuff happens not only in music, but in most other situations as well. I've been seeing it with one of my managers for the past couple of years; he s-up and when it comes time for the regionals to hand out promotions, he never gets picked and then blames it on the people around him.
I guess the most you can do is to try to explain the situation to them, at least as far as the one booking goes. I don't know how I'd deal with the overall "booking vs. no booking" deal. Unfortunately they screwed themselves over, but as a close friend it's hard to say, "Hey, look guys. You had your chance and you ed it up. Sorry."
I dunno, maybe I'd tell them that I'd see what I could do about getting them to open/close for one or two of your sets. However I'd either make sure to drag them to the venue myself, or be prepared to play their timeslot. I'd just make sure that they can prove themselves somehow before doing it. |
|
|
| washout |
i read the first and stopped.
long time friends or not, they arent good ones if they arent happy for you. |
|
|
| Mr. Pink |
move on
do your thing
if they were your friends they would've been supportive. |
|
|
| Floorfiller |
i notice that kinda stuff a lot between lots of our local dj's. people are very touchy and seems like you gotta be careful about what you say and how you act...
that part kinda sucks about dj's i guess... |
|
|
| superglo |
it happens man.
i've had a friend of mine get me a residency at some rnb club where he was dj-ing back in the day. He told me he was leaving the place and they needed someone to fill up the slot so i took it. he told me i would be earning less because i had no experience dj-ing which i believed. 4 months later, i bump into him again and he's got a new car, his own place. etc etc. a far cry from the broke mother****** who would borrow money from me just so he could put gas in his car to go to work.
I find out he's actually still getting paid to be the resident at the club that I'M playing at. What happened is that he told the management that i'm just filling in for him while hes finishing up his final semester in coll. As far as i know he doesnt do . So actually i should be earning 3 times the amount i was getting. I asked around and it seems he was doing that to quite a few people.
Word got around and after awhile he couldn't get a single gig in this town.
Oh yea. The last i heard, his car got repossesed by the bank.
muahaha. |
|
|
| DJ RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by idoru
I dunno, maybe I'd tell them that I'd see what I could do about getting them to open/close for one or two of your sets. However I'd either make sure to drag them to the venue myself, or be prepared to play their timeslot. I'd just make sure that they can prove themselves somehow before doing it. |
Yeah, I tried to kind of let them know that now that I'm taking care of more and more bookings that they're welcome to come back and play, but they're really just creating this whole RJT vs. Us kind of dynamic that has finally just come to a breaking point where I dont' even have the desire to help them out anymore. I've tried, and they just continue to talk ...
And I realize to a lot of you guys it's easy to say "move on" but these guys were my some of my best friends long before there was a "DJ" in front of RJT... Even if that is the way I should deal with things, it's not going to be easy to just cut out that part of my life. |
|
|
| Lira |
Send them cards: really, tell them how you like them and that this dj'ing stuff should get into your friendship.
girly? Yes
But you can't get more sincere than that :D |
|
|
| DJ RJT |
But the thing is, I actually told them all of this, to their faces. In a respectable manner of course, but still firm and direct. I didn't want this coming between us - Not even a little bit, so I took them both for a buzz cruise yesterday and kind of vented my frustrations.
I let them know exactly what the deal is, and not only do they not believe that I had no idea I had been booked on the 3rd (The conflicting date), they also just seem to want to believe that I'm only looking out for me, and would do anything to further my own "career." |
|
|
| jonze234 |
| it seems like they're the ones with the problem and if they aren't willing to talk about it even when you bring it up then there's not much you can do. enjoy your summer gigs. |
|
|
|
|
