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Separate or shared bank accounts? (pg. 2)
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| Aquarian |
| I like the idea that I can manage my own expenses, and I could never tolerate sharing funds with anyone. I'd have no problem with letting someone use my account if they needed to once in awhile, as long as it remained my account. |
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| Slylee |
well i screwed up my chance of having credit cards for a while because of my irresponsible attitude when i was 19 with 2 credit cards and i got so behind on payments when i stopped working, they got sent to collections and i just didn't give a .
anyway, my point is, that i'm so used to paying for everything with my debt/check card that i dont really think of credit cards. my credit is getting better though since i got my car but i still have some debt owed.
maybe we'll each have our own credit card and that can be paid by each of us for our own. |
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| Belgian Bonzai |
I got a deal with my gf.
Basically there will be a shared and seperate bank accounts. We will put a certain percentage of our pay checks in the shared one.
This will hold up until we need a lone. |
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| Temperate |
My sister and her fiance had a shared bank account. They aren't together anymore, and lets just say there was a little problem at the end that revolved around the shared account.
Seperate accounts are much better, because you never know if you will seperate or divorce. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Temperate
Seperate accounts are much better, because you never know if you will seperate or divorce. |
what a nice, optimistic attitude to have going into marriage.:wtf:
lol |
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| jonze234 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Temperate
My sister and her fiance had a shared bank account. They aren't together anymore, and lets just say there was a little problem at the end that revolved around the shared account.
Seperate accounts are much better, because you never know if you will seperate or divorce. |
seperate bank accounts wouldnt matter in a divorce. unless your account is in the caymans or some . |
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| CranberryJuice |
to me having a separated bank account is the way to go......
and i don't see why being married would change anything on this situation so yeah when i'll be married i don't plan to have a shared bank account |
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| Floorfiller |
i just heard this story this weekend and it might make you think about this sorta thing...
my cousins were in town and my aunt was telling us this story of this guy she worked with. i guess he just found out that his wife has been cheating on him for 10 years or so and has been hiding things from him for years. things like she got a raise at work. she didn't tell him but instead just was keeping that extra money to support her affair. she even had like hotel credit cards he didn't know about.
i think that kinda demonstrates the dangers of not knowing where money is or how it's being allocated in a relationship like marriage.
personally i guess i just always assumed that i would share accounts with my wife in the future. do i think it's necessarily a bad thing to have seperate accounts? not really. but then if you can't trust the person you're with to manage and share accounts with you is that really someone you want to be marrying?
and honestly i think the only time i've ever really heard of people having seperate accounts is when the husband is very successful or something and then sets up basically like an allowance system for his wife bla bla...which i don't necessarily agree with something like that. |
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| Moral Hazard |
The way I see it is as follows;
Marriage is meant to be a total and equal partnership. In my view both of those need to be true in order for it to work (or work well anyway). The problem seperate accounts brings is that it inevitably leads to a financial dispairity between the partners. As we all know money is power therefore it follows that a difference in the financial footing of the partners creates a power inbalance. Now this can be great if you happen to be the one with more power, however, if one has more power then their partner the "equal" partnership simply doesn't exist. No one should ever have the upper hand in a marriage.... there should be no hands. |
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| CranberryJuice |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
personally i guess i just always assumed that i would share accounts with my wife in the future. do i think it's necessarily a bad thing to have seperate accounts? not really. but then if you can't trust the person you're with to manage and share accounts with you is that really someone you want to be marrying?
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my parents have been married for more than 30 years now and they still have a separated account .....and it works fine it doesnt mean they are hiding things to each other ......there is trust between them so mmh i dunno i guess it depends on people ! |
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| Slylee |
yea that's true jason...but you shouldn't marry a stupid slut is going to cheat on u and lie. lol
no i'm jk, i know he had no clue probably and that's actually really sad, but i'd like to think i married the right guy and can trust him (once i'm married).
i would only think that something is up if he was anal and secretive about me seeing his bank statements, or if all of a sudden he started only viewing his bank statements online and stopped having them come in the mail...just little things like that would make me think something is up. but if we have separate accounts, he would know my pin number and my access info to see my online statements and vice versa...just being able to know that, would make me feel more comfortable and trusting.
of course there's always the REAL shady s who open up separate accounts and get P.O. box addresses for mail, etc...
usually those are the rich jerks with gold digging, clueless wives though....just my observation. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
The way I see it is as follows;
Marriage is meant to be a total and equal partnership. In my view both of those need to be true in order for it to work (or work well anyway). The problem seperate accounts brings is that it inevitably leads to a financial dispairity between the partners. As we all know money is power therefore it follows that a difference in the financial footing of the partners creates a power inbalance. Now this can be great if you happen to be the one with more power, however, if one has more power then their partner the "equal" partnership simply doesn't exist. No one should ever have the upper hand in a marriage.... there should be no hands. |
i agree with you.
i mean the money is jointly owned by both people...why shouldn't they make decisions on saving and budgeting together? what are you both going to save for retirement differently and then when the time comes..."sorry honey...you shoulda saved a little more...this is my money" |
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