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Separate or shared bank accounts? (pg. 3)
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| Temperate |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
"sorry honey...you shoulda saved a little more...this is my money" |
:stongue:
That would be dick!
I'd chuckle if that has ever happened, though. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
i agree with you.
i mean the money is jointly owned by both people...why shouldn't they make decisions on saving and budgeting together? what are you both going to save for retirement differently and then when the time comes..."sorry honey...you shoulda saved a little more...this is my money" |
or "Honey, I'm going to drop 80K on a sports car."
"I don't think that's a good idea, we're going to have to pay for Junior to go to college soon."
"Really, well you bitch it's my money I'll spend it however I want!" |
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| CranberryJuice |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
or "Honey, I'm going to drop 80K on a sports car."
"I don't think that's a good idea, we're going to have to pay for Junior to go to college soon."
"Really, well you bitch it's my money I'll spend it however I want!" |
:stongue: it doesnt mean that even if u have separated accounts u don't discuss on the use of the money ! |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
or "Honey, I'm going to drop 80K on a sports car."
"I don't think that's a good idea, we're going to have to pay for Junior to go to college soon."
"Really, well you bitch it's my money I'll spend it however I want!" |
hahahah
yea now that i read what you said moral, i completely see where you're coming from, but both of you need to be on that same exact page going into the marriage. cuz if one doesn't really agree with that whole statement about money = power, etc...then it simply won't work. |
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| igottaknow |
| jason ur avatar is beginning to creep me out. :nervous: |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
yea that's true jason...but you shouldn't marry a stupid slut is going to cheat on u and lie. lol
no i'm jk, i know he had no clue probably and that's actually really sad, but i'd like to think i married the right guy and can trust him (once i'm married).
i would only think that something is up if he was anal and secretive about me seeing his bank statements, or if all of a sudden he started only viewing his bank statements online and stopped having them come in the mail...just little things like that would make me think something is up. but if we have separate accounts, he would know my pin number and my access info to see my online statements and vice versa...just being able to know that, would make me feel more comfortable and trusting.
of course there's always the REAL shady s who open up separate accounts and get P.O. box addresses for mail, etc...
usually those are the rich jerks with gold digging, clueless wives though....just my observation. |
so if you were married to a guy and he was having to review your bank statements at the end of the month...girls would be fricking out about that. they'd be like "omg you don't trust me bla bla" and i think for good reason. i mean if you need to keep tabs on this other account its the same as not trusting the person.
i understand the rationale behind having the seperate accounts because well you want to spend money that is yours if you have some extra at the end of the month. but that's an ilusion because it isn't really your money...it's both of yours. just because one makes more money or something doesn't mean they are entitled to extra money at the end of the month. |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
No one should ever have the upper hand in a marriage.... there should be no hands. |
unless you sign off on a Master/slave agreement... |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
jason ur avatar is beginning to creep me out. :nervous: |
why is it hitting a little to close to home? :stongue: :p |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by CranberryJuice
:stongue: it doesnt mean that even if u have separated accounts u don't discuss on the use of the money ! |
True but since the other person doesn't have any authority over the money they have little power in determining it's ultimate use. Again, power indifference.... I have the money available to me so you if you don't like it I'm going to do it. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
unless you sign off on a Master/slave agreement... |
lol
jason, i didn't mean at the end of the month, i or my husband would be like, "welp! ok honey...time to go over your bank statements for the month" :wtf:
i just meant that we'd both have knowledge to each other's access info and just generally (ideally) wouldn't be consumed or worried about it, as long as the bills are paid and there is communication about where the extra money is going...that's all i meant. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
hahahah
yea now that i read what you said moral, i completely see where you're coming from, but both of you need to be on that same exact page going into the marriage. cuz if one doesn't really agree with that whole statement about money = power, etc...then it simply won't work. |
If you don't have the same views on the meaning, purpose, and function of a marriage then you'd best rethink getting married because the joint account isn't the only thing that isn't going to work. |
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| Floorfiller |
it seems like people want to somehow combine marriage and their independence. it's just not very realistic. when you get married...you aren't independent anymore.
i mean if you want to have money that each of you can use for your own purposes each month or something...well why can't you just budget that out in one account? i just think the need to have a seperate account just shows some kind of distrust with your partner...or that you don't want them to know where the money is going or something.
people in relationships should have the ability to have money for things they want...but i'm just saying why is a second account necessary. you could just be like...ok we got 3,000 this month. 2,000 is going to bills...lets put some in savings...and then we each have x amount for ourselves to enjoy...or something |
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