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The Real Deal
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| igottaknow |
I was having a chatsky and the question of ppl using other ppl came up. I feel like most people have ulteria motives. Like they're your friend but they have their reasons. Either they do things because they have nothing better to do and if something more interesting comes along they'll bail on plans you've made.
It comes down to this how much can you care about ppl when they're concerned about what is in it for them? Is this a negative view of the world or a realistic view where ppl mostly do things that benefit themselves so you shouldn't count on them especially during bad times? |
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| DjConfessions |
i think the only reason i had friends in middle school was cus i had high speed internet and could get them a bunch of warez fast. it sucks when u realize that.
i'd imagine it's pretty common growing up. you know, being the only kid in your class with a $600 Playstation3. |
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| igottaknow |
| but is it better to realize that thats the just the way things are. as long as you know they're using you and you use them and not put too much mean behind friends. |
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| Zewad |
| quote: | Originally posted by {b.s.e.}
ulterior |
in his defense we all majord in spelling in skewl... |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by {b.s.e.}
ulterior |
i almost had it. thx |
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| Slylee |
yea but that's pretty normal. it's not always like that, but it usually is when you're talking about just "aquaintences".
my good friend is famous for making plans with like 10 people and going with the best one at the last minute. i don't give a though, i laugh about it. i even call her out when she asks me what i'm doing, and then i tell her and then she does the whole, "....mm, well ok, i dunno if i'm going out yet...i'll just call you in a little bit" and then i go, "yea well just let me know if i win today with who has the best plans" and she's like, "HAHAHA, i know right"
i dont take it personal...i've done it before too and my night won't really be any better or worse if she's there or not...that's the way i see it.
i am friends with this one guy who i know through my ex, but i will tell you right now that i pretty much keep in contact with him because he lives right on south beach in a fancy highrise with free guest valet parking and he lets me park there whenever i want and use his pool or gym...he also gets VIP tables pretty much every single weekend at the best clubs in south beach and even though i don't party that much any more, once in a while i get the urge to go out and hit up a club...and u better believe i call him. he's actually a cool guy, and yea, i like him as a person...he's funny, but i doubt i would see him that much if he didn't have all those perks. i'm sure he's aware of it too, but he doesn't give a . he's got that typical miami attitude and he's got money and pretty much ALL of his "Friendships" are more like business relationships that are based on, "what can you do for me, and i'll do something for you". it's a viscious cycle. |
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| Sunsnail |
| I dont think I've ever befriended someone for ulterior motives. I did it because they were cool or fun to hang with or w/e |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
It comes down to this how much can you care about ppl when they're concerned about what is in it for them? Is this a negative view of the world or a realistic view where ppl mostly do things that benefit themselves so you shouldn't count on them especially during bad times? |
The older I get, the more I see that people really are ing selfish cunts. However, I'm an idealist...and I still believe that people are good at heart. I also take into consideration many other factors, like socialization, upbringing, culture, etc...because a lot of the time, the selfish cunts are the same people who just wander through life complacently - so it's not always a calculated move on their part to be self-serving.
That being said, the best rule to live by in this case is: you're born alone, you die alone...learn to fend for yourself and don't ever expect anything from anybody and you won't be disappointed.
I think you can still care very much about people if you take the high road and forget about how ty they can be, especially if you believe that's the reality of it. So what if people are dicks? Why should that be the basis for how YOU treat people? That's no way to live. |
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| Slylee |
lol
wait, what movie is that line from again? |
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| DigitalPhoenix |
Dont know...but I do stand by it when it comes down to reality:
"you're born alone, you die alone" :o |
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| lücid |
| personally it's not worth it to me to contact or stay in contact with someone if my only interest is using them. hell i have a hard enough time calling and staying in touch with my real good friends, let alone some random acquaintance who i only contact when i need to benefit somehow. |
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