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My Stressful Situation
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| Fl@k Monkey |
So i couldn't think of anywhere else to bitch, So i decided to come here. Sure i could get this out on my MSN space, but nobody will comment on the situation and i am kinda hoping someone will be able to make sense of it all.
To give you a little background first, For the last year (2005) I was with my ex fiance Heather. 6 months here, 6 there. And things went well until early this year when we broke up cause i felt no longer wanted and quite disrespected. Anyways
I was just a few months ago, seeing a 25 yr older (i should at this time note im 18yrs old). Her name was Jo, and before i was 'with' her.. we were good friends. I think thats what upsets me most about this story.
Her bf at the time was dick, he stressed her out heaps and she lost a kid because of it. By the time i 'entered' her life as such, she was basically only staying with him cause she had nowhere else to go.
Jo was the one who was there for me when a 6 year long term relationship (1 year of actually being together) died. And she helped me to get over it fast. And by the time i was happy again, i found myself being flirty with her. And suggestive.. She'd always tell me nobody wanted someone whose lost a child. And i kinda just jokingly suggested we should be a item. And decided to spend a day with eachother sometime.
We did - It was lovely. Things hit off real well. She'd never had a man in her life who gave her backrubs + footrubs, snuggles, was open to his feelings - and not gay at the same time. So we got together a few times after that and gradually i built strength in her to realise she wasnt the scum her bf was making her out to be. And soon enough.. she left him.
Why? i will never understand. But straight after she broke up with him she decided to move in with one of her friends about 2-3 streets away. Abit of a man hater type friend which worried me.. but eh, none the less i settled for having her out of harms way and only a few streets from me. And from there she occasionally visited me - And i did for her. Hell, on one occasion she threatened to leave town cause she was so stressed and i ran from my house to her at 3 am in the morning to tell her to stay.
She didnt want to move in straight away with me because she said she wanted time and space to herself to get over everything and hangout with her female buddys.
Me being the either patient or just plain dumb person i am, agreed. And even then she visited me on the odd occasion.
She started telling me about how her man hating friends would tell her shes not being her regular self and is 'moving to fast'. So she decided to cut me lose and have me as a realllly good friend. Who on the odd occasion came over for some activitys that i dont normally do with my buddys... :whip:
Gradually she stopped coming to see me, She stopped SMS'ing me, Anwsering my calls etc.
I went over to see her one time and her friend told me she'd gone away for abit. So i waited around.. trying to be understanding.. Till one day she came online and told me she didnt want me to wait for her cause she didnt want a relationship at all.
I have no doubt in my mind that this came down to her lovely friends who just couldnt bare to see her happy when they werent. But even being kicked while down - I still brought myself to agree to being a friend of hers.
And this is where the crunch is...
Not long ago (few weeks) i met a lovely young (18yrs) lady named Staci, what can i say about Staci? shes auwsome.
She loves dance music, shes a cancer (perfect match for Scorpio), shes :eyes: very cute. And just a few weeks ago she didn't feel like there was much to stay on Earth for until i came into her life.
Things between me and her have pretty much been melting together like liquid. We just hit it off so nicely and agree with eachother about most things. And shes been able to sway my emotions that neither of the last 2 relationships (not even the 6 yr one) has been able to.
In short: Everythings fine and dandy. So a few days ago i get an SMS from Jo, wondering how i am and whats been up etc. And i fill her in on the juicy details about this new bird in my life (cause after all, me and Jo are just friends remember?) So you'd think she'd be real supportive nad happy for me and not care?
No, instead the first thing she replies with is:
"Wont be needing to talk to me anymore then". I reply with a friendly (but firm) tone about how she did say she wanted to be just friends. And she fakes an obvious fake of a smile. Trying to tell me she is cool with it etc.. I still choose to disbelieve but i leave things to cool off. Even more recently she txt me again to say shes leaving to New Zealand (so wait? she wont move in with me but she'll move to NZ?) And ends the message in "Goodluck with your new gf"
w..t..f? :conf:
So just because im happily with someone now, I'm not allowed to still talk to her? According to her SMS'es she has no interest in staying in AUS, thus no interest in staying in touch with me.
And this is what sucks..
I give a . I know my friends (and Staci) are all right when they say she isint exacly being a good friend if shes just gonna leave on the next plane out of here just because im with someone. But god dammit.. I did so much for this woman, I gave her the stength to move out, to be happy again, to feel like her child was still alive, And in general.. I showed her what its like to be appreciated for once.
And now, she wants to go away. Apart of me says "fine, let her go" another part says "But shes been a good friend, make her stay!"
When these emotions collide together in my little 18 yr old brain, OMFG my head hurts. I am happy with Staci.. things have never been better. But this is just one of those ex'es that with the stuff iv been through with her - Id still miss her so much.
I want her to stick around, But i want her to do what makes her happy, And i also want her to be somewhere i can visit her. Apart of me wants to feel offended by her being upset that im with someone else. And apart of me wants to be upset that things didnt work out between us. The biggest part of me wishes i would just use my head and listen to my friends.
Now you see my problem yes?
Its 5:11 am in the morning, Why am i posting this now? Because this stupid situation is keeping me awake. FUK IT! |
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| DOOMBOT |
| You're better off keeping a journal or something because this thread is destined for disaster. Good luck with your newfound issue though. |
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| Ivand |
| short version for the core? |
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| Sunsnail |
Dude that's terrible :(
Good luck though. |
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| Fl@k Monkey |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ivand
short version for the core? |
*sigh* that WAS the short version |
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| Noree |
| Ouch.....I know exactly how you feel my young padawan. Some advice.....don't listen to anyone. Do what YOU think is right. Tell her how you feel......communicate......that is the most important advice I can give. Good luck with everything. |
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| Groundhog Boy |
| quote: | Originally posted by Noree
Ouch.....I know exactly how you feel my young padawan. Some advice.....don't listen to anyone. Do what YOU think is right. Tell her how you feel......communicate......that is the most important advice I can give. Good luck with everything. |
+1
Advice from others about a situation they're not experiencing firsthand isn't the best idea. |
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| DJ Mikey Mike |
| She sounds like an utter tool - vicariously living through whatever stronger person happens to be in her life at the time. She will always be nothing but a pale and weak reflection of the greatness of the person she ends up with. Let her go, and in time be glad of it. |
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| Enigmatic XTC |
| quote: | Originally posted by Fl@k Monkey
*sigh* that WAS the short version |
shorter version?
or amputate the head. that is always good advice. whatever hurts, cut it off. it won't hurt so bad after that. |
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| Protege |
| quote: | Originally posted by Groundhog Boy
+1
Advice from others about a situation they're not experiencing firsthand isn't the best idea. |
damn true. My relationships would be ed if I listened to my friends advice. |
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| Ivand |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike
She sounds like an utter tool - vicariously living through whatever stronger person happens to be in her life at the time. She will always be nothing but a pale and weak reflection of the greatness of the person she ends up with. Let her go, and in time be glad of it. |
I've read it, and I couldnt have said it better myself +1 |
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| Akridrot |
I ing hate those kind of "Friends". A guy I used to know had a GF who hung out with these uber popular girls. They were gold diggers and cock-blockers to the ing EXTREME.
Long story short, they all eventually convinced her that he was cheating on her and he was a no good BF (which he wasn't) and separated the two. He was ruined.
All you can do is move on, because girls like that aren't worth it. |
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