|
Old fashioned guy in a new fashioned world
|
View this Thread in Original format
| psiico111 |
I'm kind of an old fashioned guy, I wouldn't pick up a strange woman in a bar and sleep with her nor would I let one pick me up - unless she was Scarlett Johanson hot because I'd be an idiot to say no to something of that quality. I don't go to clubs to meet women but I'm always open to the possibility of meeting someone. I normally don't even speak to women in bars unless they talk to me first, I don't want to give the wrong impression. My problem comes in when they do talk to me.
My assumption is that if a woman starts talking to me (unless she's asking the time or for a smoke or something else benign) it's probably because she's at least somewhat attracted to me. I may be interested in the woman too but I get all worked up about what to say and do. For example, this weekend while dancing the woman next to me starts talking to me, asks me if I'm having fun, asks my name, tells me I'm a good dancer, stuff like that. I made a bit of small talk with her but with her being a total stranger I really had nothing to say so she did most of the talking. After a while of us not talking she says "nice meeting you" and wanders off back to her friends.
So now I wonder, was she just being friendly? Did I do something to turn her off? Did I give her the impression I wasn't interested in her? I saw her around a few times throughout the evening afterwards and she seemed to be ignoring me. I thought she was quite attractive and she seemed nice (meaning not high out of her mind) but I didn't want to come across as a creepy guy who latches on to any woman who pays the slightest attention to him. I didn't turn to her and start dancing in her direction for example. I didn't tell her she was pretty. I was willing to get to know her better though, I'd like to see her again and talk to her a few times before I decide if it's someone I'd want to exchange phone numbers with.
Then a little later another woman started calling me sexy. Personally I think one of my friends put her up to it or something because she was damn hot and young (maybe 25 - probably less) and I'm 36, not hot and look older (most I've heard was 48! - usually people guess 42 or 43) then I am to most people. Once again I found myself in the position of wanting to talk to someone but really having nothing to say. She wandered away too after a bit but she didn't ignore me after, she walked by and ran her fingers down my back a few times, stuff like that. Me, I didn't do anything when she did that but smile, lol.
You can all laugh and call me a loser who can't talk to girls if you want, in some respects, you'd be right. I can't talk to girls in bars, not total strangers. I prefer to meet women through friends or work, in situations where nothing is expected and you can take your time getting to know someone. When confronted like this I get nervous about either seeming like a horny pervert or uninterested.
So my question is, how do I show interest without showing too much interest? I wouldn't want to lead someone on, have her think because I spent the past two hours talking to her I'm going to invite her home with me or even ask for her number because odds are I won't. If a woman is just looking for sex I'd hate for her to waste her evening hanging out with me when I'm sure there are plenty of willing guys around. If she's just being friendly I don't want to creep her out and think I'm someone to be avoided by being overbearing or something. If she just wants to get to know me I'd hate to have her think I'm not interested.
This has been a non-issue for most of my life because I used to hang out in regular bars where the only women to approach men are typically horribly drunk and not the type you'd want to talk to anyway. Those I always gave the brush off. Now I find myself being approached by attractive, seemingly intelligent (not horribly drunk) women who I might actually want to get to know and I don't know how to do it. Damn, I am a loser who can't talk to girls.:conf: Okay, you can all have a laugh at my expense now and I'm sure some of you will but a little helpful advice would be nice. How do I subtlety come across as interested but not lecherous?
I'm sure I'll regret making this thread.:p |
|
|
| Temperate |
| short version plz |
|
|
| Sunsnail |
| quote: | Originally posted by Temperate
short version plz |
+1 |
|
|
| DJ RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by Temperate
short version plz |
|
|
|
| mezzir |
the freaky thread got closed so i need somewhere to post this and this'll do
ORLY? (in windings :p) |
|
|
| sensorium |
| quote: | Originally posted by psiico111
So now I wonder, was she just being friendly? |
She seemed interested.
| quote: | | Did I do something to turn her off? |
You didn't talk much giving her the sign that you weren't interested.
| quote: | | Did I give her the impression I wasn't interested in her? |
Bingo.
| quote: | | So my question is, how do I show interest without showing too much interest? |
So I didn't have to answer the previous questions? What a waste of time!
| quote: | | How do I subtlety come across as interested but not lecherous? |
Be yourself I suppose.
By the looks of it, you know what you're doing and are mature, that's judging by your age and by the size of your first post and its content.
Remember, don't play hard to get, play hard to get rid of.
Oh, one last thing, are you an ALT? |
|
|
| pkcRAISTLIN |
| when will it stop? |
|
|
| Temperate |
| quote: | Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
when will it stop? |
lol, I know exactly what you mean by that! :haha: |
|
|
| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by psiico111
I'm 36, not hot and look older (most I've heard was 48! - usually people guess 42 or 43) then I am to most people.
|
| quote: |
So my question is, how do I show interest (in girls) without showing too much interest? |
Jesus Christ :wtf: you are too old to be asking this question already |
|
|
| Boomer187 |
| id just nair my ass and call it a day my friend :clown: |
|
|
| Frenchie |
| My wingdings don't work. |
|
|
|
|
