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long distance relationships (pg. 3)
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| guster |
| ...are freaking hard to have success with. Did it for 2 years.. the girl's still my best friend, but it's hard not to go back to old feelings of infatuation. |
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| klingklang77 |
i have been in 3 (2 werent THAT serious...;) ). the 3rd one worked out great and we are married now. I dont know if you qualify it as a long distance, as half the relationship we were in the same country. when we were apart i was in NY and he was in Australia.
if you are serious about a long distance relationship, they move quickly, b/c you have to decide who will move with who so that you can be together. it helps if you know when the end to the separation is. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by klingklang77
i have been in 3 (2 werent THAT serious...;) ). the 3rd one worked out great and we are married now. I dont know if you qualify it as a long distance, as half the relationship we were in the same country. when we were apart i was in NY and he was in Australia.
if you are serious about a long distance relationship, they move quickly, b/c you have to decide who will move with who so that you can be together. it helps if you know when the end to the separation is. |
What a profound committment though...
Like, if you move to them, and it doesn't work out, you are stuck somewhere far away from where you were before, and now you are alone.
If they move to you, and it doesn't work out, they are stuck somewhere far away from where they were before and alone.
Whereas if you're dating someone who lives close to you and it doesn't work out, you can go right back to the life you lead before them. In many ways, I would say that a long-distance relationship is a test of not only trust, but dedication and faith in another person. I am glad you found someone whom you can trust so deeply, Klingklang, and hope it works out wonderfully for the both of you. |
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| sensorium |
| If the four of you are fine with it, there will be no problems at all. |
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| Jase83 |
| quote: | | You find ways to communicate and "be together" though..phone, IM, etc...of course it's not the same as actually being together...and yeah, it takes a tremendous amount of trust. It's really hard sometimes...but when you find another person, especially that person, it's worth it. |
I met THAT person recently. A nice girl from San Fransisco... we met at a friends wedding back in may. We hit it off instantly, she was everything I look for in a girl... and then some..
I was around her for most of the 2 weeks she was over here...
One night of those two weeks, she was over my place for a small party my sister organised. I worked up the courage & dragged her aside & told her that I really liked her, etc... She smiled, but didn't really say anything.. I quickly changed the subject & that was that.
Night after, I'm out at a bar with friends, and she there. This time drags me aside & tells me the feelings mutual etc.. BUT! she has a long term boyfriend back at home... but the relationship hasn't been going so smooth lately.. So I'm like ok, no probs, I'm not going to cut another mans grass, (well not in those words exactly, was long time ago)
So anyways, the very next day, I go out to the zoo with friends & her again, I spent the whole day close by to her, we didn't say much to each other, but there was tension in the air.. even though we both agreed not to act upon our feelings the night before, it was inevitable. As I was saying goodbye to her after the zoo, she asked what I was doing the next night.. I said "not much, how's about a movie?", "sure!"
I'll cut this next part short, we go to the movies, I start to fall under her spell, we kissed in the movies, then proceeded to my car. Things were getting hot & heavy, I take my shirt off, she like, "stop, I cant" then, I try to selfishly persuade her.. As I'm just about to give up, I go to start the car to drop her off home "wait, how far does the seat go back" ROCK ON! So yeah, we f**ked.
next night we hung out, talked about stuff.. then she was gone the next day, back to san fran.
I managed to get her contact details, we met online on IM as soon as she got home, she told her boyfriend about what happened, he dumped her & wouldnt talk to her for months... I naturally felt guilty & terrible.. I talked to her for months after & got to know her really well & we are now really good friends. Problem is, recently she got back together with her boyfriend.. he knows that she talks to me & asked if she wouldn't, she said no to him, as it's not necessary but would speak to me about it..
So right now, I'm deliberating over the two options I have, stop talking, or keep talking. It's not an easy decision, I don't know what to do... |
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| AndreaCKY772 |
| mmm...well i wasn't sure if i was going to do it. i'm in amherst and i wanted to go back to cambridge/boston when i graduated from college but my bf is in amherst. it's about an 1 and a half drive away... hmm... |
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| camshafter |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
I very much agree with this...
And yet, she lives on the complete opposite side of the country. I didn't choose this, but we chose one another, and I wouldn't want anyone but her. I guess you do what you can.
You find ways to communicate and "be together" though..phone, IM, etc...of course it's not the same as actually being together...and yeah, it takes a tremendous amount of trust. It's really hard sometimes...but when you find another person, especially that person, it's worth it. |
Quoted for truth. I've been doing the long-distance thing with a girl in Japan for 3 years. Sure it sucks a lot of the time, but you make it work...I know it's not permanent, and to me, it's definitely worth it. |
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| Soonmeister |
I live in Manchester and my GF live in Norwich. This is my first long distance relationship and im quite happy about the situation :D.
Id say its all down to how much you love her/him really and i really do love my GF, we take turns in seeing each other for 3 days each month or 6 if i get the time off work.
quite good getting the plane down tho.. only takes an hour to get there ( must get driving lessons ) |
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| asfdz |
| quote: | Originally posted by chucho
i have a dutch gf...so she's in holland right now
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Holy phone bill batman :wtf:
Absence does make the heart grow fonder....but how much absence can one take?
Every weekend seems hard as it is for Jay and I....but knowing that it's a temporary situation make it very do-able.
| quote: | Originally posted by Soonmeister
I live in Manchester and my GF live in Norwich. |
Hey fellow New Hampshire-ian, we come as few :disbelief
Norwich, VT? |
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| XaNaX |
| 99% of the time this won't work out. What usually ends up happening is that being apart kills the relationship or once you are actually together long term you find that something that went well when you were emailing or talking on the phone is a whole different story once you are all up in each others business all the time. |
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| nrjizer |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jase83
So right now, I'm deliberating over the two options I have, stop talking, or keep talking. It's not an easy decision, I don't know what to do... |
If she'll readily cheat on her boyfriend with you, then she would cheat on you with another guy. Avoid. |
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| chucho |
| quote: | Originally posted by TweeK
Chucho did you meet this so called chick on myspace? :wtf: |
huh?
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btw i'm going to holland for NYE
then we'll talk about how much longer this distance is gonna be...where are we going with the relationship...and maybe decide who could move out to the other |
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