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lets start a joke thread
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View this Thread in Original format
| djjoshuaallen |
here are a few to get us underway...
Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow.
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on
the same day in Iraq?
A: They don't want to wear out the camel.
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish
wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's
Witness?
A: Some one who knocks on your door on a Sunday morning and
tells YOU to off!
Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm?
A: Because men fake foreplay.
Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting
circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!
Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of
35 think of?
A: Dating children.
Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golfball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golfball.
Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she's given her last blow job.
Q: Who is the most popular man at the Nudist Colony?
A: The man who can carry two cups of coffee and 12 donuts.
Q: Who is the most popular woman at the Nudist Colony?
A: The woman who can eat the last two donuts.
Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
A: Cough, gag, choke, etc.
Q: What did One gay sperm say to another?
A: How do we find an egg in all of this ?
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the lightbulb.
Q. What's the definition of Trust?
A. Two cannibals giving each
other a blow job.
Q. How do you find a blonde in long grass?
A. Pleasing!
Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?
A. Bingo!
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when
it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a
goblin'.
Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?
A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.
Q: What's a Japanese girl's favorite holiday?
A: Erection day.
Q: How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper?
A: The tongue's still in the envelope.
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs,
blow job?
A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your
meat; but you just can't beat a blow job |
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| kthnxbye |
Q:why do all black people have nightmares?
A: because the last one that had a dream got shot! |
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| MR STROKE |
-whats the best part about raping a deaf girl?
-breaking her fingers so she can't tell her parents |
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| MR STROKE |
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep ." |
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| L2N |
Q - What the definition of "indefinetely"?
A- When you are doing some girl from behind and your balls are slapping against her stomach, you are "In Definetely"! |
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| IRB& |
| bump to get crap off first page |
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| Bondor |
Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree
A: it died.
all you ... your jokes sucked. |
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| Junior Chavez |
i drove really fast coming home today.
i wanted to come online to Trance Addict and find a funny joke thread... does anyone know where i can find such a thing? :conf: |
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| CHEMISTRY-LA/OC |
| quote: | Originally posted by MR STROKE
-whats the best part about raping a deaf girl?
-breaking her fingers so she can't tell her parents |
I love this! am usually very good at telling jokes but am totally out of it today.
Wait here's one.....RANDY! :stongue: |
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| SuPeRSaW2005 |
Q: What's the main difference between a parachute and a condom?
A: If a parachute has a hole in it, the person dies. If a condom has a hole in it, a new person is born. |
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| Thriller |
Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench?
A: A park bench can actually support a family of four.
***I'm not anti-Semitic, the next two jokes I've heard from friends....***
Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A: The pizza comes out of the oven.
Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A: The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven
Q: How do you get two black guys to stop raping a women?
A: Give them a basketball.
Q: What's the difference between black people and tires?
A: Tires don't sing when you put chains on them.
Q: There's a black man and a hispanic man, who's driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill?
A: A mudslide. |
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| MindShifter |
| quote: | Originally posted by Thriller
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sooooooo you tell us you're not anti semitic before telling 2 jewish jokes, but you don't preface any of the other racial jokes, thus i'm going to infer you're racist towards african americans and mexican americans. cheers! |
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