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Fun with Puns!
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| KristineClub |
Ok, so I made up the first one and one other. The rest are just some I heard and thought were pretty funny.
1. What do you get when you mix a couple of Rabbies with a dozen oranges in a blender?
Orange Jews.
2. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
3. Two cannibals were eating a clown when one cannibal said to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"
4. Ghandi refused to wear shoes so his feet became hard and tough. He went for long periods fasting and refused to eat meat. Both the fasting and his diet gave him extremely bad breath. Therefore, he was of lean, slight build, especially in his later years.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.
5. A man took his cross-eyed dog to the vet for a check up. The vet picked up the dog and looked into his eyes for a minute and then said, "I'm going to have to put your dog down." The man said, "why, because he's cross-eyed?" The vet said, "no, because he's heavy."
6. Two cannibals were sitting down at the dinner table when one of them suddenly said, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replied, "well here, try the potatos."
7. Stan from Pakistan won't stand for an afghan from Afghanistan. Ok, not really a pun but fun to say.
8. A couple of friars opened up a flower shop to raise money for the church but the flower shop owner down the street complained because it was hurting his business. After asked, the friars refused to shut down their shop. The next day the man came back and begged the friars but still they ignored him. Finally, the guy hired Hugh, the biggest, baddest son of a bitch who was known for getting results. Hugh beat up the friars and demolished their shop and told them to shut down or he'd be back. Sure enough, the friars quit selling flowers. The moral of the story?
Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. A cannibal passed his friend in the woods.
10. I sent this list of puns to a friend of mine to try to make him laugh but no pun in ten did. |
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| all-nite-freak |
you'll be needing a few tissues when i cum
you'll be needing a few tissues when i cum
you'll be needing a few tissues
cuz your face is full of man goo
you'll be needing a few tissues when i cum |
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| tubularbills |
| quote: | Originally posted by all-nite-freak
you'll be needing a few tissues when i cum
you'll be needing a few tissues when i cum
you'll be needing a few tissues
cuz your face is full of man goo
you'll be needing a few tissues when i cum |
:wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: |
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| Orbax |
I wonder if he screamed, "someone give me a hand here!" when he was
getting attacked
"Look ma'! No hand!!!"
I bet he was stumped when they asked him where his wedding ring was
He went from being a one man army to a one arm mannie.
Or maybe he thought to himself, "this situation's getting out of hand"
But enough with the offhand remarks
Confucius say, "He who stick arm in alligator's mouth can no longer be handyman."
I wonder if he hates clocks now
The onlookers nodded in appreciation of the crocodile's handiwork.
That's why I never give handouts to crocodiles
This is the sound of one hand snapping
I hear vets in China really live hand-to-mouth
I wonder if he thought to himself "What is dis, year of the jerk?"
I guess the crocodile caught him red-handed at poor vet skills. |
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| Frenchie |
| I love puns. They make me giggle like a little school girl. |
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| Marc Summers |
| lol i love puns but they still make me :rolleyes: |
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| mezzir |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
I wonder if he screamed, "someone give me a hand here!" when he was
getting attacked
"Look ma'! No hand!!!"
I bet he was stumped when they asked him where his wedding ring was
He went from being a one man army to a one arm mannie.
Or maybe he thought to himself, "this situation's getting out of hand"
But enough with the offhand remarks
Confucius say, "He who stick arm in alligator's mouth can no longer be handyman."
I wonder if he hates clocks now
The onlookers nodded in appreciation of the crocodile's handiwork.
That's why I never give handouts to crocodiles
This is the sound of one hand snapping
I hear vets in China really live hand-to-mouth
I wonder if he thought to himself "What is dis, year of the jerk?"
I guess the crocodile caught him red-handed at poor vet skills.
[/igk humor]
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fixed :) |
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| KristineClub |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
He went from being a one man army to a one arm mannie.
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lol! |
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| Ygrene |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
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You want a knuckle sandwich buddy?!?!
Hey look! The hand that feeds you! |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ygrene
You want a knuckle sandwich buddy?!?!
Hey look! The hand that feeds you! |
lol i was trying to think of an:
In communist china, you feeds hand...
WAIT
In communist china, Xiou feeds hand?
AHhh?? ahhh??? COME ON THAT WAS FUCJING AWESOME |
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