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lets make this realistic...
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View this Thread in Original format
| wizniz |
YAY myspace bullitens!
This one made me lol more than usual.
enjoi!
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A girl (Diane) went to a party and
she ended up staying longer than she
planned,
and
had to walk home alone while drunk.
She wasn't
afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only
a
few blocks away.
Besides,
she was crunked.
As she walked along under the tall elm
trees,
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm
and
danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a
short
cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she
noticed
a
worried man standing at the end as though he
were
waiting
for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking
for
God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and
security wrapped round her, she felt as
though
someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley,
she
walked right past the man and arrived
home
safely.
The following day, she read in the
newspaper
that
a young girl had been raped in the same
alley
just
twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the
fact
that it could have been her, she began to
weep; a sign of WEAKNESS!
Thanking the Lord for her safety and that
the other
young woman got raped instead of her, she prayed in response to the
prefferential treatment her god had given her.
Later she decided to go to the
police
station, just to see the unfortunate girl... and maybe laugh at her.
She felt she could recognize the man, so
she
told
them her story.
The police asked her if she would be
willing to
look
at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out
the
man
she had seen in the alley the night
before.
When the man was told he had been
identified,
he
immediately broke down and confessed that he was
not
the rapist, but had been buying drugs from
Diane's dad.
Everyone stared awkwardly around the room
and the police detained Diane as collateral.
An officer asked her if she had a request before they
brought her father in for questioning.
She asked if they would ask the man one
question.
Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked
her.
When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because I'm not a ing rapist, you self righteous jesus freak bitch! Besides, you're ugly as hell."
Diane questioned her faith, and decided to attribute this mans
utter nonsense
to blasphemy. She prayed to her teddy bear god that he would help
her understand.
She is still waiting... alone...
with a bible...
in her room...
with some delicious potato chips.
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're
never alone. Did you know that 98% of
teenagers
will not stand up for God?**
Repost this as A GIRL RAPED IN (your city) if you truly
believe
in
God..,
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what
PPS: Penguins really are capable of flight and are staging an attack on the northwest of the USA as we speak.
Jesus (might have) said (but the bible has been edited 1000's of times by... humans, so... w/e.) anyways, he said: "If you deny me in front of your friends, I shall deny you in front of my Father"
STAND UP FOR HIM!
(unless you're crippled lol in which case ur ed!)
93% wont repost this**
______________________________
**I made all of these statistics up.
Note: the rapist is still out there.
Repost this in 20 minutes or less of when you read it or else you will be raped tonight.
:p |
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| chach |
| you suck at threads |
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| wizniz |
perhaps.
i just knew if i were to post it i would have been burned at the stake by locals.
and... yknow. :) |
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| cheshirepk8 |
| my brain hurts |
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| DJ Mikey Mike |
| wizniz in thread shocker. |
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| ballmouse |
| this thread fails. |
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| Mr.Mystery |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike
wizniz in thread shocker. |
It'd be a shocker if he actually made a good thread. Or, well, anyone here. |
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| wizniz |
excuse me i dont get butthurt via the internet, however...
if you dont find any humour in this thread, for christs sake... ignore me!
dont be a dick, meng.
theres no lesson to be learnt. |
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| colonelcrisp |
| quote: | Originally posted by wizniz
excuse me i dont get butthurt via the internet, however...
if you dont find any humour in this thread, for christs sake... ignore me!
dont be a dick, meng.
theres no lesson to be learnt. |
here is your lesson.....
its spelled LEARNED...not LEARNT, dumbass |
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| wizniz |
| quote: | Originally posted by colonelcrisp
here is your lesson.....
its spelled LEARNED...not LEARNT, dumbass |
ok seriously...
American Heritage Dictionary
learn (lūrn)
v. learned also learnt (lūrnt), learn·ing, learns
v. tr.
1. To gain knowledge, comprehension, or mastery of through experience or study.
2. To fix in the mind or memory; memorize: learned the speech in a few hours.
3.
1. To acquire experience of or an ability or a skill in: learn tolerance; learned how to whistle.
2. To become aware: learned that it was best not to argue.
4. To become informed of; find out. See Synonyms at discover.
5. Nonstandard To cause to acquire knowledge; teach.
6. Obsolete To give information to.
not that it should matter in the cor3 anyways, but still...
if youre going to correct someone make sure you are correct first lol |
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| colonelcrisp |
| quote: | Originally posted by wizniz
American Heritage Dictionary
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since when did yanks speak propper english |
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