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helping negative people
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http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/20...egative-people/
How to Help Negative People
June 26th, 2006 by Steve Pavlina
Many people have asked me how they can help someone who’s stuck in negative thinking or depression. Here are some tips on how to do that.
No matter what happens, stay positive
I once visited the house of an old acquaintance, and as soon as I saw him, I felt a wave of darkness pouring over me. I regretted stopping by almost immediately. No matter how many times I changed the subject, he proceeded to spin every topic of discussion into an excuse to complain about what he disliked about his life, other people, and the world at large. After 30 minutes I couldn’t take it anymore and had to leave. This man was a major energy vampire, trying to get me to agree with all his imaginary woes in order to validate his victimhood. His dissatisfaction was palpable as I refused to join him in his self-made prison, which only made him want to try harder. But he was getting out of life exactly what he intended. He was a victim because he thought himself a victim.
One of the most important considerations when helping someone in a negative state is that you must avoid falling into negativity yourself. Negative people are energy vampires. They have an almost endless capacity to dwell on what they don’t want, whining and complaining about their lives while denying responsibility for their results. Their fear blocks the natural flow of energy from within, so they must get it from other people instead. After spending a few hours with them, you’ll usually feel drained, tired, worried, or stressed. Positive people, on the other hand, have overcome their fears to such a degree that their energy flows outward. Consequently, they give energy instead of taking it. After spending time with very positive people, you’ll tend to feel energized, uplifted, and inspired. Most people are somewhere in the middle though, so the energy exchange tends to be close to neutral.
It makes no difference what particular circumstances negative people blame for their negative outlook. Ultimately it’s still a choice rooted in free will. No matter how unconscious the person was when making the decision to sink into negativity, in this moment that person still has the power to choose otherwise. So if you decide to help such a person, your primary role is to help guide him to make a more conscious choice, one that will likely be much more empowering. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Cognitive behavioral restructuring. |
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| tubularbills |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Cognitive behavioral restructuring. |
lol, A Clockwork Orange |
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| Masonious |
| Steve Pavlina probably needs the kicked out of him. What a pretentious head. |
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| SuspicionVandit |
| no one can refuse their inner joy in the presence of a puppy |
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| Masonious |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuspicionVandit
no one can refuse their inner joy in the presence of a puppy |
we had a bulldog puppy that was born without a knee, it was in horrible pain and ultimately had to be put down. That was after we consulted with UW and WSU to see if there was anything at all we could do to help it.
Sometimes a person's pain is real and justified. Being positive in the face of their, "Negative Energy" (what a queer ing term) dehumanizes their situation and completely ignores the possibility that joy may not be what they need at that particular point.
Telling a woman who as recently been raped and is now pregnant, "Hey, at least you don't have AIDS!" with a big rictus -eating grin on your face probably won't cheer her up. |
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| wotyzoid |
no real specific tips....
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| Surfmorworkless |
| quote: | Originally posted by Masonious
we had a bulldog puppy that was born without a knee, it was in horrible pain and ultimately had to be put down. That was after we consulted with UW and WSU to see if there was anything at all we could do to help it.
Sometimes a person's pain is real and justified. Being positive in the face of their, "Negative Energy" (what a queer ing term) dehumanizes their situation and completely ignores the possibility that joy may not be what they need at that particular point.
Telling a woman who as recently been raped and is now pregnant, "Hey, at least you don't have AIDS!" with a big rictus -eating grin on your face probably won't cheer her up. |
Well said.Or writen.regardless.Good point. (thumbs up) |
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| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by Masonious
Steve Pavlina probably needs the kicked out of him. What a pretentious head. |
plz elaborate. I have read a lot of stuff on his website and I quite enjoy it. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Masonious
we had a bulldog puppy that was born without a knee, it was in horrible pain and ultimately had to be put down. That was after we consulted with UW and WSU to see if there was anything at all we could do to help it.
Sometimes a person's pain is real and justified. Being positive in the face of their, "Negative Energy" (what a queer ing term) dehumanizes their situation and completely ignores the possibility that joy may not be what they need at that particular point.
Telling a woman who as recently been raped and is now pregnant, "Hey, at least you don't have AIDS!" with a big rictus -eating grin on your face probably won't cheer her up. |
Yep. Very true. We were taught this in school. Validating someone's pain (whatever form it may take) is a major part of quality nursing. :) |
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| Frenchie |
| I could use your healing hands on my knee right about now. |
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