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Individuality vs Sociability: A trivial (but apparently polemic) question
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| Lira |
This is something my girlfriend and I have been discussion for a while and, even though it's one of the most frivolous problems I can think of, I find it incredible that our opinions are diametrically opposed.
If you're in a social gathering, should you look happy, even if you're tired or sad, in order to avoid worrying others?
My girlfriend's stance is that, pretty much like politeness in speech, you must also be "polite" in your facial expression. According to her, when you're surrounded by other people, you should try to be as friendly as possible, and smiling at others is a good way of doing that. If you look bored, people will think that it's their fault. We're social beings, and we should try to make those around us feel comfortable.
I, however, think it's important for you to be comfortable. If you don't feel like smiling, then there's no need to fake it. Should anyone be worried about your mood, all you need to say is that you're fine, and there's no reason why anyone should be bothered by your apparent lack of enthusiasm. You could just be tired, but still enjoying the company of those around you. If we're not comfortable, and try too hard to look nice, we will eventually make those around us feel uncomfortable as well.
Discuss. |
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| smokeape |
Kinda depends on the social gathering, like a wake or something.
:p
[[[smoke]]] |
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| Beat Blog |
| I don't think it's "rude" per se, but people aren't very fun to be around when they're standing there grimacing and saying nothing. |
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| tubularbills |
| yeah, i think you should. |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| ill wear whichever face suits me at the time. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Ok ok ok....why do you have to bring your girlfriend's opinion into it? I'm beginning to wonder what you see in this broad. |
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| Beat Blog |
Here's an interesting spin which people who have worked at McDonalds (not me!) can relate to, as they are always forced to smile at customers.
When you force yourself to smile, and when people ask how you are you say "great!" ecstatically, it's very easy to turn a bad mood into a good one...it's all about convincing yourself that you are happy. I often use this if I'd had a bad day and have to go out somewhere and be sociable. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Ok ok ok....why do you have to bring your girlfriend's opinion into it? I'm beginning to wonder what you see in this broad. |
Because her opinion is different, and I find it interesting that she oftens sees things I don't even think about.
I thought this thread would be better with two different perspectives instead of just one... isn't that what you need for a debate to start? :conf: |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Sorry Lira, I've been drinking. Please forgive my belligerence. :( |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Sorry Lira, I've been drinking. Please forgive my belligerence. :( |
:stongue:
ING IDIOT. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Sorry Lira, I've been drinking. Please forgive my belligerence. :( |
It's okay, Jenny, we love you the way you are :D
(that includes my girlfriend... she doesn't know she loves you yet but I can assure you she does :toothless) |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Beat Blog
Here's an interesting spin which people who have worked at McDonalds (not me!) can relate to, as they are always forced to smile at customers.
When you force yourself to smile, and when people ask how you are you say "great!" ecstatically, it's very easy to turn a bad mood into a good one...it's all about convincing yourself that you are happy. I often use this if I'd had a bad day and have to go out somewhere and be sociable. |
hhmm... I might give it a shot.
It's just that, pretty much like pkcRAISTLIN said, I usually "wear whichever face suits me at the time", and it had never really bothered me. My girlfriend and I talked about it quite recently (the day before yesterday), as she was worried about how I look sometimes, and I'm still philosophising about it...
If I realise she's right (or just decide to give it a shot), I'm going to follow your advice :) |
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