|
I saw her die
|
View this Thread in Original format
| Lira |
As I had mentioned in the random talking thread, I went to São Paulo 4 days ago, and here I am, taking this whole mess off my chest. In 2005/2006, my godmother (who happens to be my aunt) was diagnosed with cancer. This was a shock to all of us — she was (rather) young, friendly and gorgeous.
This saturday, however, she looked completely different. Her green eyes, once sparkling and deep, now looked sad and painful. She was still lucid, though, so I told her how much I cared for her, and how thankful I was for the things she had done to me. Also, I told her a few corny jokes. According to my couisns, I was the only person that managed to make her smile for weeks... she had stayed awake for 2 days in a row, afraid of closing her eyes.
Sunday, finally, she closed them. We then gathered around her and, sooner than we could've imagined, she took her last breath. I was by her side, literally, and when my mother noticed she wasn't breathing any more, I was the one looking straight into her eyes.
I'm sharing this with you guys because I just had to. Back in São Paulo, I tried to comfort everyone around me, and thought it would be better for me to hold on and "break down" once I came back to Brasília...
Here I am now. I can't say I'm sad, because I was glad to say good-bye and make her smile. I was there for her daughters (aged 15, 17 and 18), my grandma and my mum... and after having a good talk with my godfather (can't be arsed to tell the whole story now), I managed to help my family a couple of times (the guy's a bastard, though).
I really don't know how that affected me. I think it's time for me to live more passionately, as I have always wanted to, and I really should stop procrastinating as much as I do... maybe that means I won't be writing my usual diatribe posts, and I'll be focusing even more on the career I've been pursuiting for so long.
Gotta go. Thanks for all those that supported me in the random talking thread, and sorry for "spilling over" to yet another thread... but, seeing someone die right beside you is really a life changing experience :( |
|
|
| Frenchie |
| :( So sorry to hear Lira. I went through this this the end of December. All I can say is good for you for being there for the family when they needed you the most. I'm sure she appreciated as well as they did. It gets easier with time but as long as you hold on to the good times, and remember what kind of woman she was, you'll be happy. |
|
|
| wienerschnitzel |
| I'm sorry lira.. when i was younger i was really close to my great aunt, we had alot in common even though there was a HUGE generation gap between us. In the summer of '92 she became sick and we went to visit her and i remember saying a few quick words to her and then wanting to leave so i could go and play. Finally my parents let me go and shortly after we got home, we got a phone call letting us know she died. I felt terrible because i was so quick to leave, i should have stayed with her, but i was young and i didn't know. You did a great thing for your aunt and your family. |
|
|
| Dervish |
Sorry to hear it mate. It's hard to know how to feel at these times, sometimes you reckon you should be sadder or be seen to be sadder. But really it all takes time to get over the shock (no matter how 'expected' it was).
Just take it the easiest way you can for yourself, and be strong for your family. They will remember your support for the rest of their life's. |
|
|
| lücid |
| my condolences, Marcus. |
|
|
| Ted Promo |
| sorry to hear it, bud :/ |
|
|
| gehzumteufel |
Marcus, my sincere condolences go out to you and your family.
As i mentioned in the random thread i had a similar experience. i was here at work one day and my egg donor calls me. this is unusual as i havent spoken to the rents in 5 years. i dont answer numbers i dont know, but for whatever reason i was compelled to answer it this time. i did and she says my grandfather has terminal pancreatic cancer. i thank her for the information and hang up.
i call my sister. let her know. now i had plans to go to WMC. i cancelled my flight and spent the 1200 for 3 plane tickets for my sister, her fiancee and myself. we got there in the late afternoon on thursday. the follwing morning around 11am he past. it was really hard for me as my sister and i were very close to him.
the hardest part for me was, 6 weeks prior he was this lively, always doing something, even at the ripe old age of 80, sort of man. very soft spoken in general. then when we got there he was this bedridden, jaundiced, emaciated skeleton. his mouth persistently open and sores and scabs all over his arms from itching. my grandmother had to put socks on his hands to keep him from opening up his skin.
so marcus, i really feel your pain. take each day one at a time. as tricia mentioned, think about all the great times you had with her. i know this still is hard for me to think about but every time i do its good. |
|
|
| body125z |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
I really don't know how that affected me. I think it's time for me to live more passionately,
seeing someone die right beside you is really a life changing experience :( |
First of all i m real sad about the loss of your relative.. :(
I focused on these 2 sentences cause they express exactly my feelings then and now when my dad died from cancer(damn with this illness:( )
Losing a person from your family circle is a painful situation,which can understand only the relatives (especially the family.
After such an event u see life with other vision_u want to live and experience more and more things, like the end of your life aproaches..
Situation like these should teach us to be better people and live our lifes meanfull and away from anger.
Çope and wish everything else in your life from now and on will go perfect..!:)
(By the way reading your post realised that there are out there guys and girls with emotions and good upbringing and im happy about it )
Greetings from greece john:) |
|
|
| Clovis |
| Thats tough man. My Japanese grandmother passed recently. I had seen her about a week before. She was quite out of it with Parkinson's & other disorders, had trouble understanding what was going on and who people were, so in a way I think it's better now. |
|
|
| rose |
Wow Lira, I'm so sorry this happened. I went through the same with my aunt when she died of cancer back in June. It's difficult losing a family member :(
My condolences go out to you and your family. |
|
|
| jonSun |
| Sorry to hear that Lira. I had an uncle pass in a similar way. It really changes you. :( |
|
|
| eRRaTiK |
Death is a natural part of life.
Celebrate the lives of the ones that we love whilst they're here, and when they move on. |
|
|
|
|
