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Tell me a joke, pal (pg. 3)
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| UmmiE |
| quote: | Originally posted by StanVoid
I'm not your son, guy! |
Ben log off of StanVoid's account.:whip: |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by UmmiE
Ben log off of StanVoid's account.:whip: |
LOL :p |
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| Axer |
elton john wrote the song 'my sacrifice' while robbie williams shoved a mouse up his ass and was holding it's tail.
the name of the mouse was wiggly.
THE END |
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| DigitalPhoenix |
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone.
She approached him.
My name is Carmen, she told him.
That's a beautiful name, he replied.
Is it a family name?
No, she replied. I gave it to myself.
It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.
What's your name? she asked.
He said: B. J. engolf
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| kadomony |
Two friends were walking out of a bar and down an alleyway when a mugger approached them and demanded their wallets.
One friend calmly took out his wallet, removed a bill and handed it to the other friend saying, "Here's the 20 I owe you." |
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| bas |
| Jamie would take a Lexus over a BMW. |
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| dj_alfi |
What's red and sits in front of a mirrow and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.
What's white and red and screams a lot? The same baby in a bag of salt. |
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| kadomony |
"Mommy, Mommy! I hate Daddy's guts!"
"SHUT UP AND KEEP EATING!" |
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| Axer |
| Aaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha! |
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| StellarDe |
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." |
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| Lira |
A famous priest died and went to heaven. Just before the gates of heaven, he sees this long queue, and thought "Well, I'm a priest, I've been preaching and worshipping God every single day of my life, I don't need to stand in the queue, do I?" and went straight up to St. Peter, who was reading everyone's profiles at the door.
"Excuse me, are you St. Peter?", the priest asked.
"Yes, why?"
"Oh, could you let me in? I've been a good priest my whole life, and I'm anxious to see what heaven is like"
"I'm sorry, you need to wait just like everyone else. God loves everyone but this is not an anar--". Suddenly, St. Peter sees Mario, a simple taxi driver, standing in the queue humbly waiting for his turn. "Hey, Mario, why are you standing there? Welcome to heaven, you can get in now, there's a limousine waiting for you at the end of this road". And Mario obeyed, entering heaven right away.
"Hey, what happen to this not being an anarchy?", asked the priest.
"Oh, sorry", St. Peter apologised, "Let me explain myself: You were a priest, right? You worshipped God and whatnot, preached every single day of your life and tried to show God's love to every troubled soul you met."
"Yeah, exactly", complained the priest, "I've been a good servant".
"You know, most people that went to your church did listen to your preaching and all, but they didn't really have much faith, nor they felt closer to God after listening to your words. It felt more like a duty to them. Mario, on the other hand, was a taxi driver. And thus, he turned even his atheist passengers into passionate God fearing devout Christians full of faith by just giving them a ride, now you try to beat that!" :D |
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| StellarDe |
| quote: | Originally posted by CleverName
What's the best part about sex with twenty seven year olds?
There's SO MANY of them! Oh man, gets me every time. |
:haha: |
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