|
Aspects of your personality that have a double edge. (pg. 5)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| Lebezniatnikov |
A lot of my friends have commented that they were initially drawn to me because I'm a "nice" guy - but that isn't necessarily always a positive, and today has been a perfect example of that for me. I'm the kind of person who rarely puts myself first, and when I'm asked to do something for someone I rarely say no. Luckily I haven't really been taken advantage on that account yet, but I definitely have put myself in situations where I don't stand to gain from helping. Today I loaned my friend a pretty substantial sum of money, and to be frank, I don't really have anything to loan. I put myself in a pretty tight spot on the assumption that his spot is tighter. I trust him to the extent that I didn't even ask any questions as to why he needed it, just one to make sure I will be repaid sometime soon.
I also am slow to stand up for myself when I know I've been wronged. Some of my close friends have observed that I put up with a lot, especially from girls sometimes, and that I can be taken advantage of. In fact, the last girl that I dated used that as a reason for our breakup - that I'm too "nice" and she can never live up to that. Whether true or not, it's been a pretty consistent problem for me actually - falling into the friend zone. The positive is that I have a large number of girls that I am close to and consider very good friends... the negative of course being that many of the girls I fall for see me as just a nice guy they can talk to. Epitome of double-edge I would say. |
|
|
| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lebezniatnikov
A lot of my friends have commented that they were initially drawn to me because I'm a "nice" guy - but that isn't necessarily always a positive, and today has been a perfect example of that for me. I'm the kind of person who rarely puts myself first, and when I'm asked to do something for someone I rarely say no. Luckily I haven't really been taken advantage on that account yet, but I definitely have put myself in situations where I don't stand to gain from helping. Today I loaned my friend a pretty substantial sum of money, and to be frank, I don't really have anything to loan. I put myself in a pretty tight spot on the assumption that his spot is tighter. I trust him to the extent that I didn't even ask any questions as to why he needed it, just one to make sure I will be repaid sometime soon.
I also am slow to stand up for myself when I know I've been wronged. Some of my close friends have observed that I put up with a lot, especially from girls sometimes, and that I can be taken advantage of. In fact, the last girl that I dated used that as a reason for our breakup - that I'm too "nice" and she can never live up to that. Whether true or not, it's been a pretty consistent problem for me actually - falling into the friend zone. The positive is that I have a large number of girls that I am close to and consider very good friends... the negative of course being that many of the girls I fall for see me as just a nice guy they can talk to. Epitome of double-edge I would say. |
I don't totally have this problem, but by no means am I immune to this. I am just overall a nice person. So sometimes I do get taken advantage of, but not usually. I have learned to stand up for myself when I need to. Confidence does that for ya. |
|
|
| Silky Johnson |
You guys just need to embrace your inner cunt. I can help you with that.
Also, are you *really* nice? Or do you just do it because you don't want to give people a reason to not like you? Because honestly, I find that's the real reason most "nice" people are nice. |
|
|
| bas |
| My niceness stems from an illustrious history of low self esteem. |
|
|
| Lebezniatnikov |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
You guys just need to embrace your inner cunt. I can help you with that.
Also, are you *really* nice? Or do you just do it because you don't want to give people a reason to not like you? Because honestly, I find that's the real reason most "nice" people are nice. |
I think I put other people first. Whether that qualifies as being "nice" or not is your call - it's just what people tell me I am.
edit: in any case, I don't do anything with the aim of being nice. In fact, I think it's kind of a personality deficiency... nice guys finish last and all that jazz. |
|
|
| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
You guys just need to embrace your inner cunt. I can help you with that.
Also, are you *really* nice? Or do you just do it because you don't want to give people a reason to not like you? Because honestly, I find that's the real reason most "nice" people are nice. |
haha nah, I could careless about that.
| quote: | Originally posted by bas
My niceness stems from an illustrious history of low self esteem. |
+1 |
|
|
| Silky Johnson |
| Wouldn't that be the same thing though? |
|
|
| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Wouldn't that be the same thing though? |
Not really. Everyone can ing love you, yet you still have a low self-esteem. |
|
|
| Silky Johnson |
| True. I just always think of people with low-self esteem as yes-people. |
|
|
| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
True. I just always think of people with low-self esteem as yes-people. |
There are a good number of those, but I would be hesitant to say, that a majority are that type. Maybe it is, I have no clue, but I wouldn't think it is. |
|
|
| r5a |
cool thread.
i only read the first few replies but im going to come back later and see whats what.
all of my friends are pretty much like what you described rob, they are all highly competitive and like that. for everything even small 5 second talks get drawn out to hour long bull at times. it gets annoying times.
i myself seem to have a found a balance between both "perfectionist" and non. and im very happy with that, some things I half ass and somethings i in take it to the dome - for me its just looking at the situation at hand and i guess categorize it in terms of how severe or important it is. small things i tend not to try so hard in, other things like work i'll be going the extra mile for. i mean for myself it seems like this is the middle ground of what your talking.
i wouldn't say being what you described is a negative thing as long as you are able to control it and see that "hey man, im taking this too far" and you chill. for example all of our little bull arguments here on ta and ph we both could have just chilled and it would have worked out for the better and like that but we both were really competitive (to be right / 1, ect ect) there so..
they both have their pros and cons for sure no doubt, taking the 100% route you're rewarded, is done very nicely, and you feel good. however like UWM said, you'll never be happy sometimes with your work, it can be time consuming, frustrating and get you into sometimes, which really - is it worth it? then theres the not so 100% slackish side, when you let things slide, sure it feels great, you are usually stressfree (can create stress if you are too much of a slacker) is easy to do, ect, i don't really need to recite the pros and cons of these two as most of you know them..
basically, i dont think neither of them are a bad thing, its all about finding that middle ground and learning/seeing when to use what the best. each have their own pros and cons and you can use both swords at once.
as for that i see in myself (re: your question) i'll have to think about that and come back and reply. |
|
|
| RJT |
I really, really want to finally get into some GTA right now - but I wanted to thank pretty much everyone whose taken part in this thread. It isn't always easy to take a look at yourself in terms of something about yourself that you're both proud of, yet see can affect you adversely just as often - and a lot of what some of you have written seems intensely personal, so thank you all for making what could have wound up as just another c0r thread into something where I feel I've actually learned some things about a few of you.
:) |
|
|
|
|
