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Banging Broads and then robbing them in morning (pg. 5)
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| denys envy |
Ha ha ha, that reminds me of a sophomore year incident.
It was at some sorority house. (Though technically not a sorority house - Kenosha has gay rules about so many women living to a house - I guess there were a lot of whorehouses back in the day. So there was actually 4 girls "living" in the house, all of the same sorority. And they would throw shin-digs for the rest of their sorority sisters and invited guests - one of which happened to be me.)
Anywho, back to the story. So we're at this sorority house, and by we I mean myself and my roommate. We were blown up on cocaine and enjoying ourselves to the max. It was one of the bitches 21st b-day, she was the prez of the whole thing (or something like that). Anyway by the time it hit midnight all the older bitches left to go to the bar along with most of the crowd and those who had fakes. Roomie and I stayed at the house and continued to drink with the younger girls and a limited party crowd that was left over (I'd say around 15 or so people). Well the later it got into the night the more people left. By 1 am we were both hooking up with some random girls. One of the girls was a "daughter" of an older one that lived in the house. So she took me up to some bedroom (I'm assuming it was the "mother"'s) and said not to worry about it. We messed around but she wouldn't have sex unless we were "dating" (personally I couldn't believe girls like that still existed!). My roommate landed himself a true trooper and she was giving him sexytime in the bathroom, from what I'm told.
My ended up passing out and while I considered option A (which was already presented in this thread) - jack off on her, I decided against it and emerged, zipping up my pants, into a dark hallway, I think my roommate heard me and walked out at the same time (timing is everything). The girl was "cleaning herself up" according to him so we walked downstairs. Party was dead. Two people passed out on the couch, I think two or three were in the kitchen. And there was a brand new keg, 3/4 full, with a tapper in place, sitting in the most unnecessary positon - that's right, right by the ing door.
Lord, what fools these mortals be! I looked at my roommate, we didn't say a word, our thoughts were mutual. Quickly making sure all our possessions were in place we grabbed our respective sides of the keg and dragged it outside. Carried it down the street a couple of houses - don't want it to be chilling right in front - and while he went to get the car I had guard duty. As he pulled up we got the keg situated in the trunk and drove off to our place. It must've been around 2:30-3 am by now, most of the people were getting out of bars. So we did the only honorable thing left to do - invited a bunch of peeps over to the appartment and killed the keg off proper.
The next morning... probably wasn't morning... So when we woke up, we dropped the empty keg and tapper off on their front porch and drove off - a yellow post-it note read "Thanks ladies!"
The best part: no reprocussions. |
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| Scoops |
| ^^^^Quality story rite there^^^^ |
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| Yuris |
| i once jerked off into my ex-girlfriend's ice cube tray and then put it back in her freezer. |
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| iammesol |
| quote: | Originally posted by Scoops
^^^^Quality story rite there^^^^ |
indeed. |
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| emc^2 |
| quote: | Originally posted by tubularbills
i've never robbed...but i did get tipped once...:eek: |
"tipped" you say??? *cough* cocksmoker *cough* :p
lulz. |
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| emc^2 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yuris
i once jerked off into my ex-girlfriend's ice cube tray and then put it back in her freezer. |
niiiiiiiiice... tho, my x-gf had a really hot best friend and I wanted to nail the out of her. One time we got really drunk and made out at a party. She felt all guilty, told her friend (e.g. my x) and we had a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge fight. I had to explain and make up all kinds of bs to get out of the hot seat. told her I was ed up on extasy and her friend made the first move, etc. What saved me was that one of my buddy friends saw her rack a while ago and told me one weird thing about her - that one of her nipples was like off-center, looking sideways (go figure that such a set of magnificent double D's on a size 0 frame would be blemished). Anywho, having that bit of info got me off the hook a bit, coz I told my x that her best friend showed me her hooters and asked if I wanted to play with them. When my X didn't buy it - I told her the thing about the nipple (which was obviously not a public knowledge). This made her friend seem less credible and got me off the hook relatively painlessly.
Well, revenge was not over yet. When two hags finally made up after not talking to each other for like a month, the bitch had the nerve to come to my houseparty. Well, I snuk off to the bathroom, wacked off a load into a film cannister and then made her a pina colada with my own coconut juice. I nearly choked from laughter when the bitch made a comment about it being so sweet - like me, meanwhile I'm thinking - "well, you took my load anyway. it might not be direct from the source but oh well. Load delivered, mission accomplished"
Ah, the good ol' days. ;) |
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| whiskers |
| quote: | Originally posted by emc^2
niiiiiiiiice... tho, my x-gf had a really hot best friend and I wanted to nail the out of her. One time we got really drunk and made out at a party. She felt all guilty, told her friend (e.g. my x) and we had a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge fight. I had to explain and make up all kinds of bs to get out of the hot seat. told her I was ed up on extasy and her friend made the first move, etc. What saved me was that one of my buddy friends saw her rack a while ago and told me one weird thing about her - that one of her nipples was like off-center, looking sideways (go figure that such a set of magnificent double D's on a size 0 frame would be blemished). Anywho, having that bit of info got me off the hook a bit, coz I told my x that her best friend showed me her hooters and asked if I wanted to play with them. When my X didn't buy it - I told her the thing about the nipple (which was obviously not a public knowledge). This made her friend seem less credible and got me off the hook relatively painlessly.
Well, revenge was not over yet. When two hags finally made up after not talking to each other for like a month, the bitch had the nerve to come to my houseparty. Well, I snuk off to the bathroom, wacked off a load into a film cannister and then made her a pina colada with my own coconut juice. I nearly choked from laughter when the bitch made a comment about it being so sweet - like me, meanwhile I'm thinking - "well, you took my load anyway. it might not be direct from the source but oh well. Load delivered, mission accomplished"
Ah, the good ol' days. ;) |
Damn, that's ing disgusting but I applaud. it's not like she didn'st swallow before, eh? |
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| emc^2 |
| quote: | Originally posted by whiskers
Damn, that's ing disgusting but I applaud. it's not like she didn'st swallow before, eh? |
Dude, she is "somewhat big deal" - a model in NYC and had to get a breast reduction surgery coz of her tiny waist and HUGE . If that's not a crime against humanity, I don't know what is. If her kissing skills were any indication, she could seriously polish the knob. I have no regrets about Tyler Durden'ing her drink - it gave me a very deep pool of fantasies for next few decades. |
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| SteelWolf |
I often steal panties. Or bras. Or... i liek little memento's I once stole a scrunchie...
And I usually have one or both of my dogtags stolen if I pass out at some strange womans house. One time i took a gal back to my place and the bitch actually CUT by bootlaces and pulled the dogtag out of my boot... what the . That bitch stole my lucky boot tag. I had never been so livid.
ANd in reference to that poster above.... I do prefer sex in a relationship but ya knwo I'm a soldier so by definition i am a pig. I'll take whatever I can get. Fat girls ned love too. BUT THEY GOTTA PAY!!! |
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| wesleysnipez |
| I stole bras and women underwear before and in my collection before put em in the trash I stole some from future wife stash. I even stole $500 out on females purse after I bag her lol. |
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| r5a |
lol. good thread
so this one girl i met at this party a friend told me about i was chillin doing my own thing and this girl i had been eying on and came up to me, long story short we started talking and ect.
eventually it lead back to her place and we started to fool around a little bit. just hand/head and then after the somewhat good times (it was awful but im not gonna complain, i got my dick sucked) it was decided i should crash at her place. i woke up in the middle of the night (it happens to me a lot) so i did a little sneak attack on her valuables. well man it wasn't good and when i tried to take care of buz and go a little further she was like nah dude, not happening. anyway..
after searching her room i swiped her iPod (sold it eventually) and took a jar of cookies for the trip home (which was pretty long for me at like 4 am i think?).
and the other;
so there was this girl this guy i knew was dating. he wasn't really a good friend of mine but i hung out with him once or twice and we got a long well, we didn't have class or chill very much outside of school but we got along you know what i mean? anyway she dumped him for some gay reason and he was pretty upset about it. since i never had the chance to meet this girl (they weren't dating very long) he asked me for a little assassination attempt. i agreed. (fyi: never get doors that have a keyless entry system) he knew the code.. so.
one night we did a little raid. he came and picked me up at like 2 am in his truck, we drove to this girls house and all im expecting is to do some outside demolishing or whatever gay he had planned, but nope. he told I was going inside to snipe some and do whatever i could and to leave this empty condom on her bed (it had like this white hand cream inside so it looked used) after a long debate and me not trying to look soft i agreed. i snuck (well its not really sneaky in entering in the code and voila) inside practically ting myself. did a little investigation and saw these big ass garbage bags so i took one, swiped all her food (was hungry) and since im a big i found a HUGE ing tampon/pad collection. holy it was like i was in shoppers drug mart, easily 50-100 tampons and pads boxes. snuck out and dropped off all this in his truck, and i told him i had to do a round 2.
all the adrenaline and probably fear took quite a toll on the peanut butter sandwiches i had before. so before i did his request (goodbye parting condom) i dropped a massive in the tiolet. unfortunately it was a little explosive and well some of it kinda got all over the seat and i had to use a towel to wipe the splashes off my ass. after that i head off to do my final quest... she was out cold, all i did was just open up the door and tossed it at her direction and hoped for the best and peeled out. we dipped the outta there quicktimes. thats for sure. |
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| ZeJayMan |
One time i stole a copy of the Qur'an, a rare Radiohead CD and when i got out of there i realised that there was a 20 quid note inside the CD Case.
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I felt terrible. |
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