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love songs (pg. 3)
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| Acton |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
Well everybody's heard about the bird
Bird bird bird
Bird is the word (X7)
Don't you know about the bird
Well everybody knows that the bird is the word
Bird bird bird
Bird is the word (X7)
Don't you know about the bird
Well everybody knows that the bird is the word
Bird bird bird
Bird is the word
Well everybody's heard about the bird
Bird bird bird
Bird is the word (X7)
Don't you know about the bird
Well everybody knows that the bird is the word
Bird bird bird
Bird is the word
Surfin' bird
...
Don't you know about the bird
Well everybody knows that the bird is the word
... |
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| elFreak |
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis. |
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| inconspicuous |
Buckminster Fuller, inventor of the geodesic dome
Once gave a lecture he entitled 'Everything I know'
Taking the title literally, he spoke four years or so
And I intend to do the same, so make yourself at home
(Pull up a chair, smoke a cigar or something)
Cynthia Plaster Caster once took my cast and showed me
In a penis exhibition in a gallery on Broadway
So many people saw my penis in its glass case
They recognise my penis now before my face
Subject for today: does knowledge elevate or demean us?
Everything you didn't want to know about my penis
A baker has a penis thing for flattening the dough
But stick it in the oven and it rises up, like so
The man who chops the melons up with a long and pointed knife
Has a penis with a mottled skin, I know, I asked his wife
(Very curious)
A priest beneath his cassock has a penis just the same
Some call the hypothalamus the penis of the brain
One man's sport is fly fishing, the other's pocket billiards
Congratulations, Watson, on your almost-Freudian brilliance
The comedian from hell always thinks he can entertain us
With everything we didn't want to know about his penis
Like the heather of the Highlands, mine is tipped with flecks of purple
With a head as wise as Solomon, although shaped like a turtle
It wears a flesh-tone roll-neck and the neck goes up and down
It comes out in the evenings and on Friday paints the town
Obsessively, compulsively, it only wants one thing
To fill your chosen orifice with ropes of pearly string
Delivering its message to your womb or to your tongue
And then going slack and flaccid when its pressing work is done
In witty conversation, by drip or intravenus
I drop everything you didn't want to know about my penis
(Some sort of Tourette Syndrome)
It's a very fine philosopher, debating right and wrong
Shows promise as a songwriter (it writes most of my songs)
Don't bury it in boxer shorts but wear it like a tie
Or avant garde jewellery hanging from your fly
(Very chic!)
Jean Luc Godard once declared, to gales of mystified laughter
That some men wash their hands before they touch it, others after
And if you slot it carefully where the sun will never shine
You'll feel what's mine becoming yours, what's yours becoming mine
Ladies and hermaphrodites, my tender-hearted readers
Everything you didn't want to know about my penis
There was a bohemian monk
Who went to bed in a bunk
He dreamt that Venus
Was stroking his penis
And woke up all covered in .....
Thought for the day: does abstinence dirty us or clean us?
Everything you didn't want to know about my penis
It's a tribute to the power of something otherwise mundane
That waving it under a stranger's nose is said to scar his brain
I'm doing my bit to see the power of taboo remains intact:
I keep a penis on my head but never lift my hat
(I keep a penis on my head but never lift my hat)
And if I've bored you stiff with this riff about my penis
I wouldn't let a little thing like that come between us
And if you can think of another song even more atrocious
Well supercalifragilisiticexpiingdocious |
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| elFreak |
Fighting evil by moonlight
Winning love by daylight
Never running from a real fight
She is the one named Sailor Moon
She will...never turn her back on a friend
She is... always there to defend
She is...the one on whom we can depend
She is the one named Sailor.....
.... Sailor Venus
.... Sailor Mercury
.... Sailor Mars
..... Sailor Jupiter
With secret powers
All so new to her
She is the one named Sailor Moon
Fighting evil by moonlight
Winning love by daylight
With her Sailor Scouts to help fight
She is the one named Sailor Moon
She is the one named Sailor Moon
She is the one . . . Sailor Moon |
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| inconspicuous |
| quote: | Originally posted by elFreak
Fighting evil by moonlight
Winning love by daylight
Never running from a real fight
She is the one named Sailor Moon
She will...never turn her back on a friend
She is... always there to defend
She is...the one on whom we can depend
She is the one named Sailor.....
.... Sailor Venus
.... Sailor Mercury
.... Sailor Mars
..... Sailor Jupiter
With secret powers
All so new to her
She is the one named Sailor Moon
Fighting evil by moonlight
Winning love by daylight
With her Sailor Scouts to help fight
She is the one named Sailor Moon
She is the one named Sailor Moon
She is the one . . . Sailor Moon |
:stongue: :stongue: |
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| stren |
| closer by nine inch nails |
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| elFreak |
Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
A man is born, he's a man of means.
Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.
But they got, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
Everybody's got a special kind of story
Everybody finds a way to shine,
It don't matter that you got not alot
So what,
They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.
And together we'll be fine....
Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
Yes it does.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world. |
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| Frenchie |
All you ladies pop your like this
Shake your body, don't stop, don't miss
All you ladies pop your like this
Shake your body, don't stop, don't miss
Just do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now
Lick it good suck this , just like you should
Right now, Lick it good
suck this just like you should
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack,
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
First you gotta put your neck into it
Don't stop, just do, do it
Then you roll your tongue, from the crack back to the front
then suck it off til I shake and cum nigga
make sure I keep bustin nuts nigga
all over your face and stuff
slow head show me so much love
the best head comes from a thug
the dick good dick big and long
slow in til the crack of dawn
on the edge makin faces n stuff
Through the night, making so much love
Dead sleep when the sun comes up
So, lick it now, lick it good
Lick this just like you should
Right now, lick it good
Lick this just like you should
[Chorus]
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
You might roll dubs, you might have G's
But that nigga, get on your knees
A bitch like me moans and screams
Thug misses know what I mean
At the club so fresh, so clean
Hoes hatin' niggas watchin' me
So hot in the line, on green
With a unit on my face, so mean
I gotta pick which nigga I need
to suck a thug nigga satisfy me
Try me nigga I'll make you see
them bitches aint got on me
So, lick it now, lick it good
Lick this just like you should
Right now, lick it good
Lick this just like you should
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
So, lick it now, lick it good
Suck this just like you should
Right now, lick it good
Suck this just like you should
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack
My Neck, my back
Lick my and my crack |
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| Ivand |
(Talking)
Aww, look at daddy's baby girl. It's daddy's baby, little sleepy head.
Yesterday I changed your diaper, wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big? Can't believe it, now you're two.
Hailie you're so precious, daddy's so proud of you.
SIT DOWN BITCH, YOU MOVE AGAIN I'LL BEAT THE OUT OF YOU!
(Rapping)
Don't make me wake this baby, she don't need to see what I'm 'bout to do.
Quit crying bitch, why you always make me shout at you?
How could you, just leave me and love him out the blue.
Aww, what's the matter Kim, am i too loud for you?
Too bad bitch, you're gonna finally hear me out this time.
At first I'm like, aight, you wanna throw me out that's fine.
But not for him to take my place, are you outcha mind?
This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look at Kim, look at your husband now, I SAID LOOK AT HIM, he ain't so hot now is he?
little punk.
Kim: Why are you doing this?
Eminem: SHUT THE UP
Kim: You're drunk, you're never gonna get away with this
Eminem: You think I give a ? Come on, were going for a ride bitch.
Kim: NO!
Eminem: Sit up front
Kim: We can't just leave Hailie alone, what if she wakes up?
Eminem: We'll be right back, well I will, you'll be in the trunk.
Chorus:
So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on,
living in this world without you.
So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on,
living in this world without you.
You really ed me Kim, you really did a number on me.
Never knew me cheatin' on you would come back to haunt me.
But we was kids then Kim, i was only 18
That was years ago, i thought we wiped the slate clean.
That's ed up!
Kim: I love you.
Eminem: Oh god, my brain is racin'.
Kim: I love you.
Eminem: What are you doing, change the station, i hate this song.
Does this look like a big joke?
There's a four year old little boy laying dead with a slit throat in your
living room.
HA HA, what? You think I'm kidding you? You loved him didn't you?
Kim: NO!
Eminem: Bull you bitch, don't ing lie to me.
What the 's this guys problem on the side of me?
you , yeah, bite me.
Kim,
KIM! Why don't you like me?
You think i'm ugly don't you?
Kim: It's not
Eminem: No, you think i'm ugly
Kim: Baby
Eminem: Get the away from me.
Don't touch me.
I hate you, i hate you, i swear to god i hate you.
Oh my god, i love you.
How the could you do this to me?
Kim: I'm sorry.
Eminem: How the could you do this to me?
(Chorus)
Eminem: Come on, get out
Kim: I can't, i'm scared.
Eminem: I said get out Bitch.
Kim: Let go of my hair! Please don't do this baby.
Please, i love you.
Look, we can just take Hailie and leave.
Eminem: you, you did this to us, you did it, it's your fault.
Oh my god, i'm crackin' up, get a grip MARSHALL.
Hey, remember that time we went to Brian's party?
And you were like, so drunk you threw up all over Archie?
That was funny wasn't it?
Kim: Yes
Eminem: THAT WAS FUNNY WASN'T IT?
Kim: YES!
Eminem: See it all makes sense doesn't it?
You and your husband have a fight,
one of you trys to grab a knife and during the struggle he accidentally get his adams apple sliced.
And while this is going on his son has woke up and he walks in, she panics and he gets his throat cut.
So now they're both dead and you slashed your own throat so now its double homicide,
and suicide, with no note.
I should've known better.
When you started to act weird, we could of, HEY, where you going, get back
here! You can't run from me Kim, it's just us, nobody else.
You're only making this harder on yourself.
HAHA, gotcha! Go ahead, yell
Here I'll scream with you,
AHH SOMEBODY HELP.
Don't you get it bitch?
No one can hear you, now shut the up and get what's coming to you.
You were supposed to love me.
Now bleed bitch, bleed!
BLEED BITCH BLEED!
BLEED!
(Chorus) |
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| elFreak |
On a warm summers evenin on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin out the window at the darkness
til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.
He said, son, Ive made a life out of readin peoples faces,
And knowin what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you dont mind my sayin, I can see youre out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey Ill give you some advice.
So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if youre gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.
Now evry gambler knows that the secret to survivin
Is knowin what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
cause evry hands a winner and evry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.
So when hed finished speakin, he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.
You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count you r money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done. |
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