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Make me laugh on this miserable Thursday morning (pg. 4)
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| charon |
| A girl gets into her boyfriends car looking sad. He asks caringly, "Honey, whats wrong?" She lets out a sob and looks over at her boyfriend. She answers, "My mom says I cant see you anymore." "Why not?" he asks. "She says youre a pedophile" answers the girlfriend. "Pedophile?" says the boyfriend "That's a pretty big word for a seven year old!" |
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| jonSun |
What do you call the useless skin around a vagina???
a Woman |
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| Krypton |
Why aren't there any more Wal-Marts in Iraq?
Because there's a Target on every corner. |
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| DJ Mikey Mike |
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street.
As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye: “Just Released - New LP -Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make available now!”
Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.
“I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I’d very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window.”
“Certainly, Sir,” says the young man behind the counter. “If you’d like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I’ll put the LP on for you.”
The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces,
“I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those.”
“I’m sorry Sir”, says the young assistant. “If you’d care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes.”
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. “I don’t understand it”, he says, “I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can’t recognise any of those!”
“I’m terribly sorry, Sir” says the young man, “perhaps if you’d like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes.”
Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. “I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP.”
“I really am terribly sorry”, says the young assistant………………….
“I’ve just realised I was playing you the bee side.”
:toothless |
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| Acton |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street.
As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye: “Just Released - New LP -Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make available now!”
Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.
“I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I’d very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window.”
“Certainly, Sir,” says the young man behind the counter. “If you’d like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I’ll put the LP on for you.”
The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces,
“I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those.”
“I’m sorry Sir”, says the young assistant. “If you’d care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes.”
The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.
Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. “I don’t understand it”, he says, “I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can’t recognise any of those!”
“I’m terribly sorry, Sir” says the young man, “perhaps if you’d like to step into the booth again, you could have 5 more minutes.”
Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated. “I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP.”
“I really am terribly sorry”, says the young assistant………………….
“I’ve just realised I was playing you the bee side.”
:toothless |
haha :haha:
Quality finish! |
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| dj_alfi |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike
:toothless |
oooomg that joke was sooo bad :P
i feel dirty for laughing at it |
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| Acton |
| quote: | Originally posted by dj_alfi
oooomg that joke was sooo bad :P
i feel dirty for laughing at it |
Don't be daft man, it was brilliant :toothless |
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| leebates1986 |
| it made me chuckle :) |
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| whiskers |
| awesome thread
Is there a difference between a little boy and a little girl?
No, if you turn the boy around and bend him over. |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike
“I’ve just realised I was playing you the bee side.”
:toothless |
All that lead-up to a pun...but I laughed. :D |
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| Meat187 |
How many surrealists do you need to change a light bulb?
Spoon! |
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| UWM |
| Was lightbulp intentional, too? |
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