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For all the married people....
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| Eric J |
OK, I know this won't apply to a lot of you on here, but I know a few of you are married, so here goes...
How exactly do you go about explaining to your wife that you are about to drop 4 (or 5) figures on a piece of equipment?
I mean, my wife is pretty cool and all about supporting my music, but she has her limits. When you have a mortgage (and sometimes kids), it can be a bit difficult to waltz in the house with a $2,000 synth and not risk time sleeping on the couch.
I mean, its my money and all and I can usually get away with it by fudging on how much I really spent, but there comes a time when you just can't justify a $2-3,000 synth or $3,000 set of monitors, even if you REALLY need it.
Anyone else face this situation? |
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| Zombie0729 |
yup! i face more of the time spent away from home aspect than anything but money is still a concern. Best way to do it man is to either showcase it's an investment(and that you'll make it back) or show her how much you've earned from music and explain that it's simply just going back into the project (ie i did some small commerical work, some ghost writing etc that paid for my upgrades).
However due to the fact that my studio is outside my house... has created a whole other set of problems :( |
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| alanzo |
Unless you're like me and have a 20k studio but have brought in less than 1k ... not counting the "inside knowledge" gained that has led to some nice eBay acquisitions and then later selling for profit.
I think I'm done with gear for quite a while, I have some very nice synths that will stay nice for decades to come, a very powerful PC, and a top of the line processing card (UAD-2 quad /w every plugin). So I think I'm set. But the fiance thinks I spent probably 1/3 what I actually did. I've basically put a full year's worth of expendable income into my studio.
I convinced her that my $3,000 monitors cost "only $350 after I sold my old ones (hr824s) ... more like $1350. I don't think she ever asked how much my andromeda cost me. :D But for the brunt of it, gear was coming and going so fast that the "I'm using the money from selling something else" excuse always worked well.
It can't be all that bad, though. When I met her two years ago, all I had was a Virus Ti and a pair of headphones. ;) |
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| cryophonik |
| quote: | Originally posted by Eric J
How exactly do you go about explaining to your wife that you are about to drop 4 (or 5) figures on a piece of equipment?
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Well, there's the first problem right there. I live by the "do first, ask for forgiveness later" rule and hope that she doesn't notice that new shiny piece of metal in my synth rack.
On a more serious note, I've been pretty much maxed out in terms of available space, capital invested, and equipment needed for a few years now. So, I rarely buy anything these days without selling something else to make room for the new gear and cover/offset the cost of the new gear. For example, I'm sitting on a Dave Smith MEK that I'm not using because I've already got a Poly Evolver and a Mopho, so after I make my next equipment purchase, I will sell the MEK to cover/offset the cost. I usually buy the new gear first to make sure that I like it better than the gear I'm selling.
But, my wife has always been understanding of my musical cravings, whether it's spending too much money or spending too much time on it. Hell, the reason we met is because her best friend kept telling her that she needed to go see my band play about 18 years ago! I had GAS when she met me and it never went away, so she just accepts it, I guess.
Regarding kids, it's been quite an advantage to have a 2-yo who LOVES to play with the music gear - he goes freakin' nuts in the studio. My wife has a whole new perspective on it when she sees how that 5-figure investment brings so much joy to him and knowing that in a few years all those synths, effects, guitars/basses, etc. will be as much his as they are mine. |
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| Magnus |
| My biggest purchase to date was my Virus Ti and before that it was a pair of HR824s. My wife has always been so supportive of me and my music and is the main reason that I believe I am where I am today with regards to production. That may sound cheesey but it's the truth. When I make such purchases she trusts my judgement and has faith in me that what I'm doing is necessary to further my abilities. |
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| Steve Quadra |
| just ask her how much she spent on shoes and purses and you will have no problems buying any gear. My wife spends money like crazy on clothes and purses..so when its time for me to gear up...there is no questions asked. I don't really spend any money at all anyway..so buying a some gear here and there isn't all that big a deal. Just make sure you don't screw up with your budget and your bills. |
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| alanzo |
| quote: | Originally posted by cryophonik
Well, there's the first problem right there. I live by the "do first, ask for forgiveness later" rule and hope that she doesn't notice that new shiny piece of metal in my synth rack. |
I've done that. I just couldn't hide the andromeda, though. heh. |
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| Floorfiller |
lovin' the responses haha... "just lie to her"
not married, but long time gf I live with hehe :p |
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| alanzo |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
"just lie to her" |
Basically. [sarcasm]Women need to know their place. It's in the kitchen, not the studio.[/sarcasm] |
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| gr8ape |
| Well if its YOUR money, and youre not in the red (in debt) whats the problem? its not her money lmao |
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| gr8ape |
| quote: | Originally posted by gr8ape
Well if its YOUR money, and youre not in the red (in debt) whats the problem? its not her money lmao |
unless of course you need the money to do important stuff with |
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| derail |
Have you discussed your finances with each other? And what's really important to you as individuals, as well as what's important for the relationship?
Hopefully you've communicated to your wife how important music is to you, how happy it makes you, how beneficial it is to you. I imagine she loves you and wants you to be happy. I also imagine you love her and want her to be happy, and that's the issue - maybe she'd prefer the money goes towards the mortgage and works towards the relationship in the future. Obviously it's no good if you end up in a much better financial situation in a few years, but totally unhappy becuase you never get to buy yourself something nice.
I'd say, talk to her. She'll appreciate that you're including her in these decisions, that you're focusing on the relationship, that the music doesn't have to get in the way of that. And hopefully she'll be incredibly supportive (like my wife is) and you get to use your new synth guilt-free! |
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