22 years ago, during a visit to the divided German city of Berlin, President Ronald Reagan publicly challenged Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev to "tear down this wall". Nothing would change for another couple of years, when the tension finally led to the destruction of the Berlin Wall. In the next year, on 10th June, Germany would play its first match in the 1990 World Cup. The Deutsch locomotive was going at full throttle, and eventually won the tournament, though that's irrelevant. What matters is that it was the beginning of a new world, in which the USA-USSR dichotomy was no longer dividing the world: it was the end of history, according to Francis Fukuyama. But he was not quite right. That was just the beginning of the end.
Today was yet another uneventful day in my life. It was Valentine's Day here in Brazil, and my fiancée wasn't around to celebrate. There were no clouds in the sky - the dry season is here to stay, and I know for certain I won't see raindrops falling on my head until September. Meanwhile, I'll just breathe the dry dusty air of my homeland. I'm going to walk on the beige dead grass, destination nowhere.
If nothing queer happened, that is.
It had been a hundred days since I took a break from TA (why is it that people think I always quit when I do that?). I felt like pulling a Dave Dresden: just like Jake Benson would always find a thread about teh gays, I wondered whether someone noticed I had gone.
I logged in. A user sent me a pm asking me if I was a female, because my threads turned him on. Puzzled, I decided not to reply (it's not like I had a choice anyway, suspended mods can only pm other mods). Then I understood what was going on.
When I first saw her posts, I thought someone had hacked into my account and posted without my permission. But, the posts were so short. No diatribes about the human condition and no theories about language. I then realised I was looking at an alter ego.
Another Lira was posting on TA. What does that mean? I visited her Myspace, and gathered some information. She too is a geek. And a university student. And a songwriter. But, whereas she called herself Lee-ra, I for some reason think my name rhymes with mirror (even though it rhymes with "leader" in my native pronunciation). That's one difference. But, there's also the Yin bit. Yin? That doesn't make me Lira Yang, right?
I decided I should look further into it.
Smooth criminal mixed yin and yang
Said didn't matter whether black or white
Thereby bringing doom to the world. Oops!
25th June 2009 - Neverland, US of A
So, like any other upstanding citizen, I did what I had to do. Namely, nothing. Nature would run its own c(o)urse. I knew we were doomed, but I just didn't know what exactly was about to happen. Destiny sorts things out real quick, but you can't really know how the impending doom is going to affect your life.
Yin and Yang are bad arse. Now that Lira Yin had unleashed some more Yin on TA, and I was away, I knew things were unbalanced and, unless someone got pricked like a voodoo doll to make things right, the end would be nigh. I couldn't be arsed to let anyone stick needles in my eye socket. So, yeah, we're pretty much all doomed.
On this day, Michael Jackson died. He defied ethnicity, gender, and most other social constructs I can think of. I bet he was both the father and the mother of his kids. He could probably fly planes and crush nazis with the power of his mind. If only he could turn water into wine, he could be the protagonist of a best-selling novel but, alas, he wasn't that awesome. So much for walking backwards.
I'm pretty sure Confucius got hold of that Death Note thingy. Look at how Michael Jackson died! If only he were still black (thus being granted a free membership in the Black Panthers chess club), I'd suspect a Chinese girl could've killed him. But, no. He was so bleached he was whiter than me. Confucius killed Michael Jackson.
She's hotter than Palin,
so here's her pic instead
4th July 2009 - Near Russia
I then realised I was in deeeeeeep trouble. If Confucius had killed Michael Jackson, that meant China could take over the world. Celebrity by celebrity. But, Confucius is wise: he can kill us all right before our eyes, and we wouldn't even know it. Something had to be done to avoid world destruction.
Sarah Palin. If Barack Obama did something stupid, she's probably be the next American president, and you know you don't want her near any red button. Inasmuch as Vladimir Putin is rearing his head and going to the American airspace (thus potentially bringing the old world order back), Sarah Palin is the only person that could easily unleash a happy jolly Armageddon. Because, you know. So, if we let Palin land a presidential job in a world full of psychos, we're toasted.
What could I do? Well, I prayed. I prayed hard that Sarah Palin would suddenly withdraw from politics and leave it to the usual sordid villains that know how not to kill one another. And, it worked. She now knows that she knows that she knows this was the right thing for Alaska. Good. If it's good for Alaska, it's good for the world.
But, the suspicion still lingers. Who is Lira Yin? Does that make me Lira Yang?
All I wrote is pretty much irrelevant without these answers. Just like it took Ronald Reagan 3 years to destroy the old world order, this could well be the beginning of a new end in just three years. Do the math! It'll be 2012, after all, and the Mayans already saw it coming. Hell, even Roland Emmerich knows what's going to happen.
Answer these questions, and help save the world:
Who is Lira Yin? Who's her daddy, and what does he do?
Are the Mayans right? Can Lira (Yin) trigger the end of the world? Am I supposed to do anything about it, or can I just sit back, grab some pop corn, and enjoy the fireworks? We're like, alter egos, I guess. If I'm really Lira Yang, I think I'm supposed to challenge her and decide the fate of the world in a match of thumb wrestling. That would be kind of cool.
How are you guys? I missed you all!
That's it. I'm off to bed because my winter vacations have just begun, and I need to hibernate a little. I'm afraid nothing of what I wrote makes any sense. I don't think it does. But, I'm going to check this thread first thing in the morning, and I hope we can provide humanity a better future.
xoxoxo
- Lira
Palladium
omgz :gsmile:
pkcRAISTLIN
Hey buddy!! *waves*
Sushipunk
Hey Lira! Good to see you man
astroboy
HOLY !!! *runs into wall*
ps - I wish ******** was still around to read that post by Lira.. it would've blown his mind.
Rose
You talked to me on Facebook so I didn't miss you.
