|
I'm a social retard, I admit it. How do I make friends IRL (not here) as an adult? (pg. 2)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| Akridrot |
| quote: | Originally posted by tubularbills
how the can you live in a metropolis and not make friends? there HAS to be something wrong with you. |
There IS something wrong with me, and I want there to stop being something wrong with me, which is why I find the insulting and flaming pointless.
I probably do need professional help, but not simple therapy. This is something far more complex than that.
I've actually been sent to a psychiatric hospital before in an ambulance for my mental problems. I went to get an STD test and while talking, I told the lady about the things I wanted to do to people and she immediately left the room and didn't come back for like 5 minutes. Then I see two big paramedics come in and she steps back out and calmly tells me "It's ok. Don't be afraid, they are here to help you. You need help." and later on I found out that I was labeled an E.D.P. or Emotionally Disturbed Person. They thought I was going to be a danger to myself and others.
My thoughts were so disturbing that I was seen by two different psychiatrists and both of them told me that I needed advanced therapy because I'm cognizant of how messed up I am but not completely in control. That's the reason I post ed up all the time, I can't control myself.
It's not to say I'm intelligent, just intelligent enough to be completely aware of my illness and intelligent enough to conceal it for the most part. But not intelligent enough to get rid of it on my own.
I am literally NOT in full control because if I was I would never post most of the that I do.
The psychiatrists told me that I needed things like group therapy and art therapy and that I should stay for a long time because I was intelligent enough to hide my problems (but only temporarily, only sometimes, never all the time) and cases like me are harder to work with because for some ed up reason I intentionally hold on to the disturbed part of my psyche and nurture it and it keeps growing and growing and I'll never be ing normal at this rate.
Even the ing psychiatrists told me that I needed more help than they were able to give. Why did they say that? Because I kept playing stupid ing mindgames with them and I even asked one of them if her was wet and if she wanted to molest me. I am not in control... and this is extremely upsetting.
Even the ing psychiatrists think I'm supremely ed up, she was visibly disturbed by what I was saying and I think she was even angry at me for playing games with her. I ing hate myself sometimes.
Why couldn't I have been born normal?!?!? :(
WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN BORN NORMAL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!
Even recently, I was permabanned from a forum that my ex posted on because she told them about how I was psychologically/verbally (never physically) abusing her and I had a nervous breakdown on the forum and threatened to decorate her face with bullets. I was good at that forum for a while now everyone thinks I'm some kind of nutjob schizo predator.
I'm so scared and this is not even a joke anymore... I think I'm going to take the advice for once and seek some professional help because with the breakup and the drug binging and the ed up thoughts, I am getting worse and worse each year and I'm terrified...
I will stick around if anyone has any advice, but I'm just done guys. I'm done with this bull, I have a ed up life and I need some expert help from intelligent people... it has nothing to do with posting here, but my posts here are a good indication of how I'm doing... when I'm posting like this, that means reality is so bad that I can't even bring myself to conceal it...
But I don't want this to be my reality anymore. I want my reality to be normal and positive. I hope my life changes for the better, because I really want it to. |
|
|
| kadomony |
| quote: | Originally posted by trancechan
go to 4chan; be amongst your kind.
(see you there) |
 |
|
|
| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by Akridrot
There IS something wrong with me, and I want there to stop being something wrong with me, which is why I find the insulting and flaming pointless.
I probably do need professional help, but not simple therapy. This is something far more complex than that.
I've actually been sent to a psychiatric hospital before in an ambulance for my mental problems. I went to get an STD test and while talking, I told the lady about the things I wanted to do to people and she immediately left the room and didn't come back for like 5 minutes. Then I see two big paramedics come in and she steps back out and calmly tells me "It's ok. Don't be afraid, they are here to help you. You need help." and later on I found out that I was labeled an E.D.P. or Emotionally Disturbed Person. They thought I was going to be a danger to myself and others.
My thoughts were so disturbing that I was seen by two different psychiatrists and both of them told me that I needed advanced therapy because I'm cognizant of how messed up I am but not completely in control. That's the reason I post ed up all the time, I can't control myself.
It's not to say I'm intelligent, just intelligent enough to be completely aware of my illness and intelligent enough to conceal it for the most part. But not intelligent enough to get rid of it on my own.
I am literally NOT in full control because if I was I would never post most of the that I do.
The psychiatrists told me that I needed things like group therapy and art therapy and that I should stay for a long time because I was intelligent enough to hide my problems (but only temporarily, only sometimes, never all the time) and cases like me are harder to work with because for some ed up reason I intentionally hold on to the disturbed part of my psyche and nurture it and it keeps growing and growing and I'll never be ing normal at this rate.
Even the ing psychiatrists told me that I needed more help than they were able to give. Why did they say that? Because I kept playing stupid ing mindgames with them and I even asked one of them if her was wet and if she wanted to molest me. I am not in control... and this is extremely upsetting.
Even the ing psychiatrists think I'm supremely ed up, she was visibly disturbed by what I was saying and I think she was even angry at me for playing games with her. I ing hate myself sometimes.
Why couldn't I have been born normal?!?!? :(
WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN BORN NORMAL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!
Even recently, I was permabanned from a forum that my ex posted on because she told them about how I was psychologically/verbally (never physically) abusing her and I had a nervous breakdown on the forum and threatened to decorate her face with bullets. I was good at that forum for a while now everyone thinks I'm some kind of nutjob schizo predator.
I'm so scared and this is not even a joke anymore... I think I'm going to take the advice for once and seek some professional help because with the breakup and the drug binging and the ed up thoughts, I am getting worse and worse each year and I'm terrified...
I will stick around if anyone has any advice, but I'm just done guys. I'm done with this bull, I have a ed up life and I need some expert help from intelligent people... it has nothing to do with posting here, but my posts here are a good indication of how I'm doing... when I'm posting like this, that means reality is so bad that I can't even bring myself to conceal it...
But I don't want this to be my reality anymore. I want my reality to be normal and positive. I hope my life changes for the better, because I really want it to. |
If you're serious in saying all that, I actually wish you the best of luck. Professional help and/or care may be something you could greatly benefit from. |
|
|
| lücid |
| you could always hang out with ********. |
|
|
| Akridrot |
I am serious. I'm looking for social support groups in my area, and I'm researching options for therapy and rehabilitation. I'm thinking of joining some volunteer groups just so I can learn how to socialize more. I'm going to try have a normal life outside the internet and I hope I learn a lot as I go along.
I'm starting to realize that I can probably make a lot of friends by just joining hobbyist groups and going to events so I'm going to do that. There are a lot of ways to meet new people, and I feel a bit embarrassed that it's taken this long for me to get the motivation to join these places, but better late than never.
This is mostly a personal thing, and I do think it's going to result in a drastic reduction of forum/internet activity. Not because I post here a lot (I don't), but because I'll be busy, happy and socializing with people even if they're not exactly who I want them to be (and I don't think I want to hang out with repeats of my high school friends... I think I want to mature).
I feel like I want to start seriously applying myself and I guess that's going to show when I start posting here again. I want to improve and become a skilled person with something to offer every community that I'm a part of (not just this one) instead of retarded, random bull. |
|
|
| Akridrot |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
you could always hang out with ********. |
ha, i was thinking about that while writing the post... this place attracts a lot of crazies |
|
|
| Amduscias |
I'm sure ******** and you would make an amazing pair, walls of text 24/7 on TA about nobody cares about
Amazing. |
|
|
| tubularbills |
| quote: | Originally posted by Amduscias
I'm sure ******** and you would make an amazing pair, walls of text 24/7 on TA about nobody cares about
Amazing. |
would they send pic messages of their fat too? holding their junk, etc...etc... |
|
|
| Amduscias |
| quote: | Originally posted by tubularbills
would they send pic messages of their fat too? holding their junk, etc...etc... |
it is a possibility yes |
|
|
| iTranscendence |
 |
|
|
| Q5echo |
gay bars. for real
even if youre straight you'll meet more of the friendliest deviants and wierdos you can throw a stick at.
watch out for the crackheads and tricks tho |
|
|
|
|
