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Not another relationship thread!?! (pg. 2)
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| UWM |
Only one thing is important:
Was she born in a local hospital? |
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| Jackson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
I think you can answer your own question: How many women have you called and texted in the middle of the night on a regular basis that you didn't want to sleep with? |
That was exactly my thoughts! Why else would you call that late at night?
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
You sound insecure. |
How would you feel? I don't mean that to sound rude, its a genuine question since I have no clue! And i think as a girl you have alot to add to this question :)
| quote: | Originally posted by euphoria
1. When he calls in the middle of the night does she actually answer and talk to him or tell him off I'm sleeping?
2. Does he know about you? (Doesn't even matter too much really most guys don't give a )
3. Does she leave the room to talk to him or speak to him in front of you, and do the conversations seem suspicious?
yourself. |
1) Its 50/50 really, sometimes she will chat to him, but if we are both lying in bed and are literally moments away from being asleep she'll let it ring.
2) He knows about me, apparently saying "He seems like a great guy I can't wait to meet him".
3) She leaves the room to talk to him the majority of the time. She says that its because its about "personal things with his family and this girl". |
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| Banora |
| Eat the girl, sell the pizza, the bike. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by euphoria
There is nothing wrong with male / female friendships assuming they are platonic but it seems like in this case they are very "close". You left out some crucial pieces of information here.
1. When he calls in the middle of the night does she actually answer and talk to him or tell him off I'm sleeping?
2. Does he know about you? (Doesn't even matter too much really most guys don't give a )
3. Does she leave the room to talk to him or speak to him in front of you, and do the conversations seem suspicious?
There are a number of possibilities here. He can either be a very needy male friend, not have very many friends if any at all besides ur girl, or he def wants to get with her and is using this whole "he's trying to get with some other chick" as a ploy to find out what advice your girl will give him and actually use her own advice to get into her pants.
If you are getting a bad feeling about this you should trust your instinct. Tell her he is going overboard and she needs to talk to him and tell him to respect, and if that doesn't work talk to him yourself. |
Truth. If any part of their relationship is secret, you're not in the wrong. However, if you haven't discussed where the boundaries of your relationship lie, you don't have a right to complain until you discuss it with her and let her know what is acceptable/not for you. |
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| Jackson |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
Only one thing is important:
Was she born in a local hospital? |
She wasn't...which makes her Exotic to me! :gsmile: |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jackson
That was exactly my thoughts! Why else would you call that late at night? |
Don't forget the second question. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jackson
How would you feel? I don't mean that to sound rude, its a genuine question since I have no clue! And i think as a girl you have alot to add to this question :)
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If it went on behind my back, I would definitely feel betrayed. |
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| Ania_xox |
I used to have a problem with falling asleep alone (still do kinda) therefore, my friends knew that the best time to chat with me was right before bed.
I'm still good friends with a few guys I used to date and they always used to call me at night, even when I started dating my bf.
I would chat for 5 mins or so, but then tell them I'm hanging out with the bf and I have to go. It started to really bug him, so I basically told my guy friends to not call late. That's it. And we just talk on MSN now, or occasionally on the phone at any random time.
Bottom line: my bf told me it bugged him, so I fixed the situation. I love him and respect his opinions because he's not irrational.
If your woman is clinging to this dude, you have to ask her what the is up because this is not normal behaviour for someone in a relationship. |
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| Schadenfreude |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Basically, you can either trust your gf, or not. If you feel that her relationship with this fellow crosses the boundaries of YOUR relationship with her, then say so. All you can do is voice your discomfort at the situation. If she gets defensive and isn't sensitive to how you feel...that speaks for itself really.
You shouldn't ever have to give loved ones an ultimatum, but at the same time, if they aren't willing to accept one, you gotta wonder why/what's going on. |
I have to agree with this, healthy relationships should not be based on needing to change the other persons habits to meet your expectations. They should just work, or not. At the same time if she is knowingly doing something that makes you uncomfortable that can be a big problem.
These kind of situations break up people all of the time. I'm not you, but at the end of the day i would personally class this kind of thing in 2 categories.
Happy
Unhappy
If you are happy with the way the relationship is, stay. If you are not, go. That simple. If things like this really upset you to the point that it affects other areas of your life, it could be that you might be staying with the person out of comfort/fear of being alone. This never works, but what do I know?
Cor response: as you were doing the keystrokes required to make this thread, she was stroking something else. |
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| euphoria |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jackson
1) Its 50/50 really, sometimes she will chat to him, but if we are both lying in bed and are literally moments away from being asleep she'll let it ring.
2) He knows about me, apparently saying "He seems like a great guy I can't wait to meet him".
3) She leaves the room to talk to him the majority of the time. She says that its because its about "personal things with his family and this girl". |
Ok makes sense.
May be actually going to meet the guy may ease your nerves a bit. Are you up for it?
The whole leaving the room bit makes it seem more suspicious. You don't even know the guy so why would she give a about talking about his family/girl problems in front of you. She obviously respects his privacy a great deal. I only hope she respects her relationship with you in the same way. If he has a problem with his girl he needs to be talking to his girl not your girl. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jackson
1) Its 50/50 really, sometimes she will chat to him, but if we are both lying in bed and are literally moments away from being asleep she'll let it ring.
2) He knows about me, apparently saying "He seems like a great guy I can't wait to meet him".
3) She leaves the room to talk to him the majority of the time. She says that its because its about "personal things with his family and this girl". |
So based on that, it sounds like she's being honest with you. Again, you can trust her, or not. And like I said before, all you can do is tell her that you're uncomfortable with the nature of her friendship with this guy. A partner who respects you would find a way (as in Ania's situation) to change things. Anything else is unacceptable, imo. You accept anything less and you're just asking her to walk all over you.
edit: oops, just re-read part 3 there. Yeah that's suspect. |
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| Jackson |
| quote: | | Question 2: How many women do you know that would tolerate this sort of from you unless you were sleeping with them or they really wanted you to be. |
:( Yeah i know...none. |
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