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Is Passion "a must" or just a luxury? (pg. 2)
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| EricB. |
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| Theresa |
| quote: | Originally posted by EricB.
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| Ania_xox |
My boyfriend and I drive each other ing crazy. He's stubborn and I'm hot-headed.
I want to kill him sometimes and I know I act like a psycho bitch sometimes.
But at the end of the day, we always go to bed laughing about how stupid we are :gsmile: :toocool: |
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| igottaknow |
Come on Slylee do it.
:eyespop: |
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| Moral Hazard |
| I'd say passion is a luxury. It's nice to be passionate about someone or to have someone be passionate about you; however, there are far more important things IMO. Moreover, passion fades, not entirely, but the moments of inflamed passion become fewer and further between as comfort and permanence set in, as there is less passion with less urgency. Ultimately, if passion is the most important thing for someone, hell, if it's even on equal billing as the other pillars of a relationship then a stable relationship is not right for that person. |
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| boris_the_bear |
| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
Then I met a guy who not only was all those things, but also made me excited to see him, butterflies in my tummy type stuff, would do just about anything for him. |
have you ever given a thought to what you would do if that person suddenly stopped giving you the "butterflies in tummy" thing and, more importantly, why it happened? do you believe the cause for this is that the other person has changed or it is only your perception of him that has changed? i'm being serious ;)
p.s. dunno why, but the word *perception* fits so well with Shponge track I'm currently listening to:p
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
I'd say passion is a luxury. It's nice to be passionate about someone or to have someone be passionate about you; however, there are far more important things IMO. Moreover, passion fades, not entirely, but the moments of inflamed passion become fewer and further between as comfort and permanence set in, as there is less passion with less urgency. Ultimately, if passion is the most important thing for someone, hell, if it's even on equal billing as the other pillars of a relationship then a stable relationship is not right for that person. |
words of wisdom (according to my observations)
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
Come on Slylee do it.
:eyespop: |
:haha: .. will we know when she posts under a different username? |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
I'd say passion is a luxury. It's nice to be passionate about someone or to have someone be passionate about you; however, there are far more important things IMO. Moreover, passion fades, not entirely, but the moments of inflamed passion become fewer and further between as comfort and permanence set in, as there is less passion with less urgency. Ultimately, if passion is the most important thing for someone, hell, if it's even on equal billing as the other pillars of a relationship then a stable relationship is not right for that person. |
I know you're probably right but you're making me depressed. Now I know what it must feel like to be a Creationist. My gut tells me you are wrong. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
I know you're probably right but you're making depressed. Now I know what it must feel like to be a Creationist. My gut tells me you are wrong. |
I have nothing to base my opinion on other then observation/experience and deduction; however, I'll hold to it as being more probable in most instances. |
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| boris_the_bear |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
I have nothing to base my opinion on other then observation/experience and deduction; however, I'll hold to it as being more probable in most instances. |
i think you'd find that in psychology. and i don't mean slylee's
p.s. should i really use this "not slylee's" disclaimer every time? :p |
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| Theresa |
| quote: | Originally posted by boris_the_bear
have you ever given a thought to what you would do if that person suddenly stopped giving you the "butterflies in tummy" thing and, more importantly, why it happened? do you believe the cause for this is that the other person has changed or it is only your perception of him that has changed? i'm being serious ;)
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I know from being in a few long lasting relationships that the initial excitement or "passion" dies off like Moral described. With that being said, I think there is a different part of passion, (a "click" or "spark" might be a way of putting it,) where the two of you just connect on a deeper level. I think this needs to exist in any good relationship and I know where some people are with their partner and don't have that connection.
The guy that I am no longer with gave me the initial excitement and passion of a new relationship, but I didn't get that "click" feeling with him. I knew right from the very beginning that the connection I am talking about didn't really exist with him, but didn't really know truthfully if it was even possible, so I accepted it. My perception of him never changed (we broke up on very good terms), I just realized that the connection I wanted to have was attainable with someone else, someone who I connected with on a deeper level.
Talking about something so intangible is difficult because concepts like "deeper level" and "passion" are all so ambiguous. With that being said, I think the common idea of "passion" might be the fired up type passion people experience at the beginning of a relationship when all the feel good hormones are pumping, which isn't what I am really referring to. It's hard to describe. |
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| boris_the_bear |
| quote: | Originally posted by Theresa
I just realized that the connection I wanted to have was attainable with someone else, someone who I connected with on a deeper level. |
i.e. had an affair? i mean how could you see that deeper level with someone else while being with the first guy? i thought the proper order was: relationship > something unsatisfying in relationship > end of relationship > free (whoring in pubs, gangbangs with friends) > new relationship > more satisfaction than previous relationship |
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| Theresa |
| quote: | Originally posted by boris_the_bear
i.e. had an affair? i mean how could you see that deeper level while being with the first guy? |
Guy #2 and I worked together and were very good friends during my relationship with guy #1. With that being said, I didn't break up with guy #1 for guy #2 and never cheated on him or had an affair. The connection I had with guy #2 made me realize that it was possible to get a deeper level connection and simply reaffirmed the doubts I was already having about guy #1. There was a lot more to it (different life goals etc.) involved.
So guy #1 and I broke up on good terms and went our own ways. I was single for about 6 months before guy #2 and I finally got together. Even after knowing each other for a year, we still had that spark and now after actually being in a relationship and living together for almost 2 years, I still feel that spark. The initial "passion" that I mentioned I think most people commonly think of, isn't as prevalent as it once was, but it is rekindled on occasion.
I think that a good way of describing the relationship I had with guy #1 is an excellent friendship with intimacy. We got along, enjoyed each others company and were physically attracted to each other, but we just didn't have the deeper connection beyond "really good friends". I think there is "really good friends" and "really good friends that connect on another level".
Again... so ambiguous. |
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