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What is the allure of an ex? (pg. 2)
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| sweetcaroline |
I appreciate the responses. I know I'm being a protective girlfriend, but I can't help it. I love my friend. And I spent 5 months of him talking about the pain of the breakup. Right when he was healing, his ex boyfriend breezes back in town and chases after him. Oh, did I mention that my friend is gay? :p Anyway, it doesn't matter...
I think his ex is evil because he saw that my friend was happy and dating someone new and chased after him. And his ex is leaving town to go overseas in August. So basically, the ex is going around with my friend for a few months and then good bye. I met the new boyfriend and he was pretty amazing, not the tormented closet case the ex is.
Do we have a self destructive gene that makes us go back to people who have hurt us time and time again?
Why do exes have more pull than the world of new experiences that are out there? |
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| Yohan |
| because humans are stupid |
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| enydo |
| Ah, well I guess the magic explanation is out. Magic colon perhaps? |
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| Arbiter |
| quote: | Originally posted by sweetcaroline
Do we have a self destructive gene that makes us go back to people who have hurt us time and time again? |
Some people do. They tend to get what they deserve. |
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| denys envy |
| quote: | Originally posted by enydo
Ah, well I guess the magic explanation is out. Magic colon perhaps? |
or a magic mouth ;) |
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| Magadansky |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
Let me clarify. I'm not making a judgment on which girl is better for his friend, and I'm sure he means well. But you can not tell someone what they should do. Everyone is free to make their own choices and live with the consequences. Their choices shouldn't make you angry. Why do people concern themselves with what other people do?
Let me give you another scenario. We walk into a restaurant and I tell you I read an article about all the wonderful health benefits of eating salad. After which I order a salad and you get a double cheeseburger with bacon. Now I'm furious with you. Why didn't you order the salad? Didn't you hear what I told you? Clearly the salad is better for you... |
Not the same thing. A few people on here already said that people are self-destructive and stupid in some of those situations and they need to be warned and protected. You shouldn't getting angry out of it but you need to protect your friends from them making mistakes. And yes OP is concerned since they are best friends. You know, actually caring for each other... |
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| igottaknow |
| so the he (op) is a she and the she (ex) is a he. :stongue: |
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| bas |
| Pretty simple really. People like what's familiar/comfortable to them. |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Magadansky
Not the same thing. |
Ok. We a walk into a restaurant and we are best friends...
Now that changes everything right?
| quote: | | A few people on here already said that people are self-destructive and stupid in some of those situations and they need to be warned and protected. You shouldn't getting angry out of it but you need to protect your friends from them making mistakes. And yes OP is concerned since they are best friends. You know, actually caring for each other... |
You are free to tell someone what you think. What's unreasonable is expecting them to do what you want and getting angry when they don't. She views his ex as a problem, her friend doesn't share her view otherwise he wouldn't be with his ex. No one can be saved from themselves. That's why an alcoholic can not be told to stop drinking, he has to want to. |
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| Danny Ocean |
| i dont think she's getting angry at him..she just said the phrase in a different context. |
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| Magadansky |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
Ok. We a walk into a restaurant and we are best friends...
Now that changes everything right?
You are free to tell someone what you think. What's unreasonable is expecting them to do what you want and getting angry when they don't. She views his ex as a problem, her friend doesn't share her view otherwise he wouldn't be with his ex. No one can be saved from themselves. That's why an alcoholic can not be told to stop drinking, he has to want to. |
Lol. Do you know what friendship is? What do you think a friend must do, drinking with you all night and not giving you advices about your life, advices that can help you? Do you have friends actually for whom you care about or you truly believe this is the universal case (your quoted phrases above)? |
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