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Dancefloor rants
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| Frenkieee |
I had an awesome night last night, with Jamie Jones (with Christmas hat on) at my favorite club. It wasn't really crowded, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, since you'll have more space to dance.
BUT, what really grinds my gears: why is it that, when I'm right there on the dance floor, where most people are doing their thing just like I am, some people think it's necessary to come and stand right there in front of me, with a friend or two, and just ing stand there?! , if you're going to have a tea party, just stay the hell in the back, you asshats! Even more annoying when I'm having my eyes closed and enjoying the music, and when opening my eyes there's just this one tall-ass guy less than 1 feet away from me, while there's obviously enough space right in front of him.
Also, couples that come barging right through everyone on the dance floor, making their way up to in front of the DJ booth, only to go and make out right in front of you.
ing annoying. |
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| EddieZilker |
| Tell them you're looking for a bottle of Valtrex you dropped on the floor. Better yet, get a bottle of Valtrex, and when the couple starts making out in front of you go up to one of them and say, "Here, this fell out of your pocket/purse." Make sure the other one can hear you. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| Or do what Stubert does at the grocer and drop your keys near their feet. When they bend over to pick them up for you (since a drop at some stranger's feet is obviously within proximity violation of our western primate values), let one rip right in their face. MMM, ketchup. Unce, unce, unce, unce. |
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| david.michael |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Or do what Stubert does at the grocer and drop your keys near their feet. When they bend over to pick them up for you (since a drop at some stranger's feet is obviously within proximity violation of our western primate values), let one rip right in their face. MMM, ketchup. Unce, unce, unce, unce. |
:stongue: :stongue: |
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| igottaknow |
| you should have made the most of it and ground up against him and coo in his ear |
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| EddieZilker |
Too bad it's not at a grocery store. The music isn't quite as loud.
But there's always people, many of whom have seen fit to bring their clutch of kin, who want to stop and discuss matters with the odd acquaintance, who also have in tow, their parasitic brood. It's fine and all, and the little people of this world should talk with one another but not in front of the doors for the milk. It's at this point, depending on my mood, which I will either clap to temporarily suspend the bubble of entropic myopia with a sudden, sharp plosive of sound which pulls their attention back into the world around them, or simply mutter, "Oh, no. Oh, dear. Sure is crowded today," kind of like that guy the boss is always shafting in Office Space.
The Office Space Guy technique is my favorite and it works like a charm. |
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| WittyHandle |
| quote: | Originally posted by EddieZilker
Tell them you're looking for a bottle of Valtrex you dropped on the floor. Better yet, get a bottle of Valtrex, and when the couple starts making out in front of you go up to one of them and say, "Here, this fell out of your pocket/purse." Make sure the other one can hear you. |
Nice one :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| EddieZilker |
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| Frenkieee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Or do what Stubert does at the grocer and drop your keys near their feet. When they bend over to pick them up for you (since a drop at some stranger's feet is obviously within proximity violation of our western primate values), let one rip right in their face. MMM, ketchup. Unce, unce, unce, unce. |
Most times I let one rip, it's from my behind..
But sure, I can always turn around before I commence the ripping. Maybe halfway one of my famous pirouettes. Though it will have to be a quick one then. Or perhaps a few shorts ones instead of one long one. Which ones provide the most stench? |
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| EddieZilker |
| It was easy. Just loaded into GIMP and did Save As. The menu options just pop up as you're saving the file. |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by Frenkieee
Which ones provide the most stench? |
When you lift one leg and hold the bottom of that foot to the side of your other knee while doing a twirl. You have to time it right though, so be sure to practice in the mirror often. |
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| Frenkieee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
When you lift one leg and hold the bottom of that foot to the side of your other knee while doing a twirl. You have to time it right though, so be sure to practice in the mirror often. |
Will I have to make an arm gesture as well? |
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