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The world according to Giorgio (That TO Councellor)
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| Endlesswave |
This week, city council’s resident eccentric, Giorgio Mammoliti, proposed the city explore alternative ways to raise revenue, from making the Toronto Islands the city’s first red-light district to turning Ontario Place into a world-class casino. That’s just the tip of the Giorgio iceberg.
Generate revenue by: Legalizing street racing
Where: Highway 407
What Giorgio says: “Here’s the thing about Highway 407. Every year they raise the toll prices and every year it’s the most underutilized highway in the 400-series system. Meanwhile, on crowded highways like the 403, the 400, the 401, you’ve got teenagers doing a buck-eighty in their souped-up cars. They’re getting speeding tickets, they’re getting in accidents and people are getting hurt.
“I say we invite street racers to race safely on Highway 407. The faster they go, the more they pay. Every month, Mayor Ford could present a trophy to the street racer with the highest bill. The beauty is that the technology is already in place. We just have to say go.”
Generate revenue by: Creating the World’s Largest Tokatorium
Where: The Rogers Centre
What Giorgio says: “Let’s face it, pot is practically decriminalized in this city. It’s everywhere. Only some residents don’t like walking their dog and passing a Civic full of stoners with the windows rolled up and the music cranked.
“My idea is to invite the city’s marijuana users to the Rogers Centre for the world’s largest toke fest, a ticketed event which will be held weekly. The roof closes, everyone pulls out their joints, bongs, or whatever and we hotbox the place. Then the roof opens and – whump! – a puff of smoke rises over the city that’s so big it can be seen from Rochester. Toronto will become like Amsterdam. Tourists will visit from all over just to see it. And if the city taxes hot dogs, nacho, pretzels, and beer: boom! – new transit line.
Generate revenue by: Building the world’s largest windmill
Where: The CN Tower.
What Giorgio says: “Windmills are a great idea. But why are we building so many? All we need is one huge windmill. And it turns out there’s a half-built one right in downtown Toronto: the CN Tower. I don’t have all the numbers handy, but throw some fan blades on that thing and you gotta figure in a stiff breeze that puppy’s gonna churn out two, maybe three gigawatts – heck, we may even be in terawatt territory. Goodbye, Saudi Arabia. Hello, air conditioning!”
Generate revenue by: Solving civic disputes through MMA
Where: A city-owned “Gladiator Coliseum” at Downsview Park
What Giorgio says: “This is what I call turning two problems into a solution. If there’s two things this city’s got, it’s anger and a love of mixed martial arts fighting. Think about it. On the one hand you’ve got drivers and cyclists who hate each other and neighbours fighting neighbours at the OMB who hate each other. On the other hand, Ultimate Fighting hosts its first event in Toronto and it’s the fastest sellout in the history of the sport. It doesn’t make sense!
“I say, let’s put two and two together. Let’s build a state-of-the-art coliseum at Downsview where pissed-off Torontonians can settle their disagreements in the octagon, and everyone else can take in the action from the stands. The city moves a ton of tickets, maybe sells the broadcast rights to Rogers community-access TV. Property taxes go down. Everyone wins.”
Special to The Globe and Mail |
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| VDub |
I LOVE the 407 idea...
The rest is based on reason but is really unreasonable as he put it...
Funny read... |
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| Endlesswave |
| Yeah the 407 idea is crazy. Hotboxing the rogers centre is even more ridiculous. haha. |
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| chinamon |
lol this is awesome.
as much as i would like to say legalizing street racing on the 407 is a good idea... it is not. there are still regular commuters on that highway and they would be put in grave danger. |
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| VDub |
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
lol this is awesome.
as much as i would like to say legalizing street racing on the 407 is a good idea... it is not. there are still regular commuters on that highway and they would be put in grave danger. |
Ok...
Let's amend that to an elevated speed highway..
You can drive faster but aren't allowed to actually race...
Autobahn styles...
I wouldn't mind paying the type of toll proposed either... |
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| geroin |
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
lol this is awesome.
as much as i would like to say legalizing street racing on the 407 is a good idea... it is not. there are still regular commuters on that highway and they would be put in grave danger. |
seems to work in germany doesn't it?
407 is designed to max out your vehicle's speed easily.
In Moscow they got so sick of pulling over racers that they actually changed the law to let them race during specific night hours on the highway for a fee.. |
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| chinamon |
| quote: | Originally posted by geroin
seems to work in germany doesn't it?
407 is designed to max out your vehicle's speed easily.
In Moscow they got so sick of pulling over racers that they actually changed the law to let them race during specific night hours on the highway for a fee.. |
it works in germany because they are used to having a highway like that for years.
for decades, our population has been using up to 100km/h freeways. making such a drastic change in our speed limits would cause loads of problems, especially with the number of chinese and indian drivers in our communities. lol
although the 407 may be built to withstand high speeds, many of our vehicles are not... at least not straight from the factory. |
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| geroin |
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
it works in germany because they are used to having a highway like that for years.
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that's not really a valid point.. is there proof that when they opened autobahn the fatalities increased at first and then people learned how to drive on it? see below..
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
for decades, our population has been using up to 100km/h freeways. making such a drastic change in our speed limits would cause loads of problems, especially with the number of chinese and indian drivers in our communities. lol
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you answered your own question, what needs to change is the way people pass tests. In Germany it is much harder to pass a driving test + it is way more complex. We must strengthen the test so it's not every single indian or chinese driver getting a licence like you said (i'm just generalizing, list includes young drivers, immigrant drivers, male and female etc) so when they do get on the road, they will be able to drive with a much better confidence. I'm actually more concerned about older population, mostly over 60. There has to be a retest done when you hit a certain age to make sure you are still able to drive according to speed limit and road conditions, i see it on a daily basis as a person that travels 50km one way to work older people going 80 in a 100, all the ing time too.
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
although the 407 may be built to withstand high speeds, many of our vehicles are not... at least not straight from the factory. |
yes they are, most vehicles are able to withstand 180 km/h easily (this is based on tires as well as some tires only allowed to go up to 180 max based on a speed rating). |
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| exraver |
| Only Giorgio I know, is Moroder, who is this makaronnik everybody is talking about? |
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| jad |
| Ahahaha! I'm all for the Tokatorium. |
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| Nick Cenik |
| Pot is definitely not "practically decriminalized" in Toronto. |
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